Me vs The Tree of Death and Destruction (570 hits)
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Submitted by Korthrun McBloodlust <korthrun.at.korthrun.net> (View user info) at 2004-08-26 20:51:04 EDT
Another boring day at work, another nice session of reminiscing about the days when my life was not the epitomy of dull.
Late in the school year, when people started to care less and less about grades, and well even being at school, parties seem to roll out more and more. One friday night my usual group of ~10 friends decides that tonight will be a great night to have a little camp party at Kua Bay (http://www.hawaiipictures.com/pictures/kua_bay_1.html). Nothing unusual here , this was one of our favorite spots due to:
1)The privacy factor. Few people were willing to make the walk, or had the truck that could make most of it for them.
2)Due to surrounding lava rock, it rarely got windy.
3)Ability to jump in the ocean at anytime is nice, specially for some morning hangover surf time.
We really wanted our friend Carlos to come along, he was most always good fun. He however didn't want to get "partied out" as he had already told Midori that he would goto her birthday party Saturday night. This applies later.
Later that evening something a little unusual did manage to happen. My friend Tennis and I (yes his name is really Tennis), being particularly bored and fairly drunk decide to grab Amadons dull machete, and Amys hatchet with a broken handle. We had concluded that this evening was a little borish due to the lack of a fire. There was a bit of confusion this time as to who was supposed to bring the wood, and as it turned out no one did. Ocean air without a fire can be a bit hard to handle, even in tropical hawaii. We were about to fix our fire problem. The beach was surrounded by lava rock, and one of the few things that managed to grow well in solid rock is Keawe. Keawe is a cousin of the Mesquite tree.
Keawe is evil. I tried for a bit to find a picture online that showed the true evilness of this plant, but alas, none were to be found. Keawe burns well, and actually flavors things well, great for grilling. Keawes branches, in addition to the standard bark and leaves, was also convered in throns that ranged from a few centimeters to an inch or more. This tree also likes to shed. A branch here a branch there. It is not uncommon to find piles of branches (read: 'huge thorns') surrounding Keawe trees.
Did this stop us from ventureing out to cut one down with dull and or broken tools? Of course not. P.S. We were also quite barefoot, this being customary on a beach.
We grab ourselves a bottle of what, I can't recall, some sort of alchohol of course. After some stubling in the dark (well fullmoon and clear skies dark anyway), a few throns, some swearing and a swig or two we find or prey. About 7 feet tall, and only 1 or 1.5 feet in diameter. It was surrounded by a few 'guardian' keawe trees, but all we had to do was brush right by them and scream in pain some.
At first we just each take a side and start hacking away. Approximate time: 20:00. At about 20:05 we decided that we should take turns. For one thing, this was going to take a while and we didn't want to both be worn out at the same time, for another we almost cut eachothers hands off several times.
The details of the next few hours are quite blurry. Common sense tells me that we drank a lot. My brain tells me that we waxed philosophical, chatted about girls, grunted and swore a lot, and of course, hacked away at the tree. It should go without saying that the thorns were a constant plague and by 22:30 we were bloody. Being whacky folk we were having a bit of fun. Going samurai on the tree, shouting at it about how it had insulted our honor. A few kamakazi spats of us slamming our bodies into it while making up japanese sounding words. I think at one point Tennis tried to bear hug the tree and up root it. Neener. I know at some point I tried to jump kick it and missed.
At approximatly 1:00 in the AM we approched camp, with our quarry in tail. Our friends seemed to have had a great party, some people were in the water still, a few we off smoking a bowl, and some wusses had climbed into thier tents. It was time to start the fire.
We were tired. We were drunk. We wanted a fucking fire already. We picked up a few huge rocks, and proceeded to wake the sleeping people by slamming them at the tree (to break it up some) and screaming at it some more. After a couple minutes of this we shoved the pieces into a hole that someone had dug in the sand, and tried to light them. Lesson: Freshly cut, green wood does not burn well. Nothing can stop us. Some paper, some meat, and a mysterious piece of cardboard later we had a weak fire burning, and decided to just drag the rest of the tree on top of it.
We were victorious! Untill we decided to unsweaty and unbloody ourselves by jumping into the ocean. Hint: Salt water + (cuts * still embeded thorns) = screaming like a woman. Giving birth. When almost every inch of your body is throbbing with salty doom, it is hard to think straight. It becomes harder with your mind clouded by alchohol. It is yet harder when there are 4-6 foot waves slamming down on you.
1)Screaming underwater solves nothing.
2)I cannot body surf in the dark while drunk and in extreme pain.
At somepoint someone rescued us from out flailings about in the water. Under the water. Whatever.
The rest of the morning was just your usuall people getting high and shooting the shit. We buried the fire and went home at about noon on Saturday.
On monday in school I ran into my friend Carlos. I asked him how Midori's party was.
"We went down to kua bay and it sucked ass. Some fucking idiots dragged keawe thorns all over the beach, we were stepping on the shit all night."
User Reviews
Submitted by korthrun (user info) at 2004-08-30 22:34:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sie deutsche Grammatik sind fast so schlecht wie meine, und diese Antwort war gerade kein sinnvoll, was so überhaupt. So gehe ich mit der traditionellen Antwort von:
Würfel.
Korth
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-08-27 05:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ofMontreal (user info) at 2004-08-26 23:28:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2004-08-26 22:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wie dieses Sie anordnen kann Sie sein kann keines Nr. soviel anordnen, das Sie nicht ich Sie denken können sind das beste möglicherweise oder, Sie saugen jede Weise Sie sind, also kühl ich ich denke, daß i einmal einen Welpen hatte, aber ich ihn tötete, also Sie ihn kennen müssen wasnt meine Idee, auf Deutsch zu schreiben, also ein Sandwich sich bilden Sie und die Krusten esse und mir den Rest ja ja ja ja gebe
Submitted by CornerNoob at 2004-08-26 21:30:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hhhmmmmm, i like to see a party in Hawaii. Full moons and all.