Bombs and Virgins (585 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.67 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Oxanar (View user info) at 2004-08-27 10:13:33 EDT
So I'm listening to NPR this morning and a story about the two Russian airplanes was broadcast. JohnGalt made an interesting comment on how easy or hard it must be for organizations (Chechnya in this case?) to recruit some dumbass to go blow themselves up on a plane.
Suddenly I had an epiphany. For most of the Middle East terrorists it seems that the promise by Alah of 16 virgins in heaven is the surest way to cinch the deal for any would-be suicide bomber.
Tempting, very tempting. I myself have never had the privilege of deflowering a virgin here on earth, but it must be nice as not only does it seem like every boy's dream, it's also promised in Islam as a reward for dismembering yourself at extreme velocities.
Wait....on earth. Hmmm isn't a virgin by definition someone that has not had sexual (physical) intercourse with another human being of the opposite sex? And the act of losing one's virginity is intrinsically bound to actually touching someone?
So what the hell is heaven? I think most people would agree that this place is wrapped up in the meta-physical. Now how in the fuck is someone supposed to be a virgin, or for that matter a non-virgin in heaven. If one can't really touch one another through physical contact then it seems to me the act of sex is fairly pointless in heaven.
But you know what, I for one, am not going to be the guy that walks up to mister terrorist with bomb strapped on back, tap him on the shoulder and say "Um listen, bub, looks like you've been lied to."
User Reviews
Submitted by screaney (user info) at 2004-09-02 17:02:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what if the 16 virgins were all virgins because they were so nasty...????
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-08-27 12:13:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The title made me choke on a piece of cheese. +1 for almost killing me.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2004-08-27 11:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for creative
-1 for starting a post with "So"
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-08-27 11:23:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So, funk_boy... Is that blow up "detonate an explosive inside", or blow up "shoot my load inside"?
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-08-27 10:27:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's a cracker jack
I'd blow up my gran's anus for 16 virgins..
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-08-27 10:15:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for free rides to work