Rise of Freedom pt. 1 (453 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.67 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <WiLL1790.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2004-08-27 15:05:27 EDT
Hey everyone. This is the beginning of a series I am going to write. Based on your comments, I will decide to continue or trash it.
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Ryan Walters wasn't your stereotypical geek. He couldn't be, because who would write a story about a run of the mill nerd? No, he was actually very popular at his jock high-school. He was good looking as far as guys go with no acne or facial disfigurement. He had a girlfriend and great grades, top in the class. He participated in many extracurricular activities, too. One thing that he stood out in was computers and robotics. He had won four different robotics competitions, earning a total of $475. And at his school the technology department often came to him for compute -related advice.
So, when known anarchist and troublemaker Kevin Hill approached him about meeting Saturday night at a friend of Kevin's house, Ryan was a little troubled:
"Damn Kevin, I don't know. One, I have basketball practice and second..."
He trailed off, looking at the ground of the school hallway arm cocked behind his head scratching the nape of his neck.
"I know," Kevin finished for him, "your old man might not let you over to a felon's house."
Kevin said "felon" with sarcasm as once at a school pep rally the coach called Kevin a "convicted felon." The school was buzzing with the news all week. Ryan knew if he accepted the invitation, rumors would begin about him, too.
"Well...yeah actually," Ryan managed a forced laugh.
"Okay, see if you can make it. I guarantee you won't be disappointed."
Kevin said it so convincingly that Ryan started to consider the offer. At lunch Ryan sat by himself, unusually, and twirled his spoon as he contemplated Kevin's offer. On the pro side, it would be a fun-filled evening all right. Maybe a little too fun. But Kevin was rumored to be amazing at slipping out of slippery situations. On the con side it could mean federal conviction he got caught. Well, no he was a minor and they couldn't charge a minor. But it could go on his permanent record and there was no chance in the clitoris that he would get into Yale with a rap sheet. But....Kevin was good and his friends were rumored to be amazing. Okay--
*clack*
He was interrupted from his thoughts by the sound of John's lunch tray.
"Hey man, what the fuck are you doing? Marlene is looking for you! C'mon, let's go."
"Nah, I'm going to stay here. I'm a little tired from last night's game. I need to chill out. Tell her I'm hammered and I'll see her tonight, okay?"
"Okay but if you change you mind...'cause you know she wants you and is hot with those perky nip-"
"Yeah okay, will do."
The rest of the day passed uneventfully, as Ryan thought harder on Kevin's offer. When he arrived home from the buss stop he had made up his mind...
"HONEY! DINNER!" His mom yelled up the stairs as Ryan was packing his bag. He finished and raced down the stairs.
"Thanks but I'm going over to Ted's house to, uh, study mitosis. Okay? Be back around 1 am. I know, I know, no later than that or I'll get a whoppin'"
His mom laughed," Yes, you will. But seriously, Ryan, be home by 1 AM--sharp."
Ryan was out the door. He got on his bike and rode all the way through the suburbs into the city. It was a long trek, and a tad dangerous too. For the most part there were no sidewalks or any place to bike safely. He had to use the shoulder of the freeway. But he did manage to make it to Gerard Avenue. From there he navigated through the city, using the directions Kevin had given him on the phone earlier. Also, during the conversation, Kevin had advised him to bring some things, which Ryan had in his backpack. Shit this night is going to be awesome he thought to himself. At the same time he wondered if he was going to regret this...
After about an hours bike ride, he arrived at a shoddy looking house in the inner city. In the distance he heard gunshots and yelling.
"Fuck, hope I make it out of here," he said quietly to calm his nerves. He locked his bike to a tree and slowly made his way to the front door. Cautiously, he rang the doorbell.
"Ah...hello Ryan, glad you could make it."
TO BE CONTINUED...
User Reviews
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-08-31 22:57:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-27 15:34:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good effort. it's up to you if you want to continue it. Although
your style of writing is... could be improved.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-27 15:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Get to the part where they fuck, and I'll let you know.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-27 15:10:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Trash it. Well written, but too highschoolesque.