Famous Dad Antics (881 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.29 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mr. Awesome <steveisgreat.at.rock.com> (View user info) at 2004-08-27 16:26:49 EDT
My dad is an immigrant from Brazil, and when he came here he brought a number of habits and ideas foriegn to this land. Some of these were so ridiculous, that it was all I could do to keep from laughing. His parental methods were somewhat unorthodox, and he was (still is) the kind of dad who could whup my ass whenever he felt like it. He was also the king of bullshit, and I decided to write down some of his words and deeds for all to enjoy, perhaps in a series. Let's start:
1. Even though he's Brazilian, he hates the Brazilian soccer team, and he always cheered for the opposing team. When I asked why, he told me that he dosen't cheer for ugly people. They look fine to me, I responded. He said that all the black people on the team were ugly. Nice going, dad.
2. One time, I was sick, and he made me go to school anyway. While driving me there, he told me that if I died, he'd take my body to school until the end of the year.
3. When I take a shower, I put my towel on the lip of the sink. My dad freaked about this, and he told me that the other people in the house shit in the sink and it was always dirty.
4. Since I was little, he told me taht he was around 34-35. Okay. Well, around his 36th birthday, I found out he was now 40. Why, dad?
More will come later, perhaps even today! don't miss it!
User Reviews
Submitted by HelloMello (user info) at 2004-09-25 21:30:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
1 more to go dickfor
Submitted by mr.awesome (user info) at 2004-08-27 21:38:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Suck a lemon, charger.
Submitted by mr.awesome (user info) at 2004-08-27 20:56:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah. He can be funny at times, but, as I have already said, he is the king of bullshit, and it can drive me crazy.
Submitted by hockyman (user info) at 2004-08-27 20:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dont worry about charger, he hasn't even posted anything so i dont know who the fuck he is saying only one post per day... tell him to suck a lemon
Submitted by hockyman (user info) at 2004-08-27 20:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2. One time, I was sick, and he made me go to school anyway. While driving me there, he told me that if I died, he'd take my body to school until the end of the year.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-27 20:38:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sounds like your dad is a funny guy
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2004-08-27 17:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Needs elaboration.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-27 17:05:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Reading this made me think of Dad from The Brak Show. +1 for that.
Quotes
________
Brak's Dad: "Life is not about the second chances. It is about a little mouse and his voyage to an exciting new land. That, my friend, is what life is."
Brak's Dad: "Aha! I fooled you again, boy! ... Go change your pants."
Brak's Mom: "Honey, I think there's something wrong with Brak."
Brak's Dad: "There's something wrong with all of us, Darling."
Brak: "I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE!"
Brak's Dad: "Ha! Finally my own office. You see, Mother, I told you if we were patient we wouldn't have to add on."
Brak's Dad: "Mother, have you seen my blue velvet warm-up suit?"
Brak's Mom: "Isn't it in your exercise drawer?"
Brak's Dad: "Oh well how will I know that unless YOU go open the drawer and look?"
Brak's Mom: "Honey, can't you do that yourself?"
Brak's Dad: "Yes, but then what would be the point of me asking you to do it?"
Brak: "Hey are you guys fighting?"
Brak's Mom: "No, dear. Your father's just behaving like an ass."
Brak's Dad: "Well you should know. You married one."
Brak's Dad: "Mother, people only invite you to dinner for three reasons: to sell you vitamins, to drug you and take unpleasant snapshots, or to convert you to their hideous farming religion."
Brak's Dad: "They probably don't even have toilets."
Brak's Mom: "Of course they do."
Brak's Dad: "Then they probably flush upwards, spraying bottom-devouring spiders on you!"
I could go on forever.
Here's an automated Dad Quote Generator:
http://www.creamedgeezer.com/quote/dadquote.php
Submitted by Your father at 2004-08-27 16:52:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why are you making a post about me son? If your going to insult your father, it must to his face. And in return the father must urinate in your mouth.
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-08-27 16:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it was pretty funny.
Submitted by charger (user info) at 2004-08-27 16:37:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
One post per day.
And try to make it even remotely interesting.