Paul Hamm: Eat a Dick (1933 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: -0.01 on 55 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tony Montana <deenw.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2004-08-27 19:13:40 EDT
Paul Hamm is a bitch. Just one look at his dork ass mug will reveal to any bystander that this guy is a pure bred specimen of a bitch. And although looks can sometimes be deceiving, that is certainly not the case here. This guy looks like a bitch, and indeed, he is a big whiny ass bitch.
At this point you are probably asking, "Can you prove Paul Hamm is indeed a bitch, and if so, to exactly what degree is he such a bitch?"
The answer is simple. Yes I can prove that he is a bitch. And as for his level of bitchdom...he is of the most supreme order of bitches. His bitchness is second only to that cocksmoke who created the current long running MasterCard ad campaign.
[High Heel Stilletos...180 dollars. Skin tight leather outfit...250 dollars. Strap on Dildo...75 dollars. Waking up in a hung over haze only to realize that your wife obliged your drunken request of fucking you up the ass...priceless. There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's MasterCard.]
Most of you already know the "controversy" surrounding the Paul Hamm case but for those who don't, I will explain it here. Paul Hamm is the American gymnast competing in the 2004 Olympics. He performed well during the latter part of the competition and ended up beating South Korean gymnast Yang Tae-young by a margin of 0.049 points and thus took the gold medal for the All-Around Men's Gymnastics competition, something an American male has never done. However...what really happened is that the moron judges had failed to correctly do the math in scoring Yang's performance. They subtracted from 9.9 instead of 10.0 and thus his score was a solid 0.100 less than it should have been. So in the end it was an error in remedial subtraction that cost Yang the gold and allowed it to be erroneously awarded to Paul Hamm.
So this whole episode isn't really a "controversy" at all. There aren't any videos to go back and review...there was no case of racism, bias, or bribery involving the judges...this is purely a case of MATHEMATICAL error. The judges, who at the time of this writing still have not completed the equivalent of a 3rd grade education, subtracted from the wrong total and gave the award to the wrong person. One would think that the proper thing to do would be to simply correct the math, and re-distribute the medals accordingly...giving Paul Hamm's dumb ass shameful silver while Yang gets glorious gold.
And besides...most athletes wouldn't want a gold medal that they didn't fairly earn. True athletes want to work for their achievements, they don't want meaningless awards just handed to them....
But not Paul Hamm. The Olympics regulations prevent them from awarding a double gold in this situation and they cannot strip Hamm's medal so they requested that Hamm be gracious and do the right thing in giving Yang the gold. Hamm adamantly refused. The little bitch essentially whined "finders, keepers" and said he has no intention of giving up the gold.
This is annoying for multiple reasons.
Reason #1: Paul Hamm's bitchness is so deeply rooted within his genetic code that he actually believes that he is the rightful owner of the gold. He is oblivious to the fact that he didn't win it based on his performance and that the whole world thinks of him as having the same worth as a generic tampon.
Reason #2: People actually support his dumb ass. The American Olympic committee and many others are just categorizing this whole episode under the umbrella title of "judging controversies" and supporting this bitch in his belief that he is the true winner of the gold.
Reason #3: This is another skid mark on the image of America. As if the world already wasn't getting tired of American arrogance, waste, and consumption...they have this douche bag to step into an international arena and act like a spoiled little bitch.
Anyone with a little bit of money can go to a jeweler and ask that he create a gold medal, one that even looks like an Olympic gold medal. This is essentially what Paul Hamm did for the one he possesses carries no merit, no worth, and no honor. Bill Gates could give his kid a million dollars and print out a sheet of paper saying that he won a Nobel prize but it would be meaningless because it is not recognized by anyone else. This is the same scenario here. No one in the world outside of a small few recognizes Paul Hamm as being the winner and thus, for the remainder of all time, he will carry the mark of being a stupid ass little bitch who is desperately clutching onto the illusion of a victory.
http://cloudempire.com
[Update: at the time of this writing there is speculation that the Olympic committee might indeed force Hamm to give up his gold medal.]
User Reviews
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-09-27 04:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Suck a cock, fag.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-12-21 02:05:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You are a bitchy moron who insults me because I'm 10 years older than you? That shows what a winner you really are. I guess your parents must be even MORE pathetic than I am because they are older than me, right? You are a disgraceful bastard who will not succeed in life no matter how much you brag that you will. Your attitude is sickening and your constant whining about events than unfolded months ago shows you have a severe personality disorder.
Go ahead and diagnose and drug yourself, Mr. MD moron.
Submitted by GDawg at 2004-10-28 05:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome comments on that faggot paul hamm.
His gold medal is worth shit...and he knows it!
Dumb ass who fell on his filthy ass doesn't deserve any medals at all!
If Yang fell on his ass, he wouldn't have gotten any medals.
Shows how much favoritism US receives.
Submitted by John Seminole <noleboy01> at 2004-09-24 19:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by person at 2004-09-23 04:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Since i ain't american i don't care about paul hamm
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-09-18 03:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Tony Montana is a prick. His website sucks ass....And he thinks it is "the most funny site on the internet. period." Where he steals ideas from maddox (lousy rants done extremely worse in quality than maddox himself), and other ideas from uberusers.
I think the fucker should be banned for spamming adds to his lame ass website.
There is a post on here where he tries to refer the_real_maddox to his own website as if its something he just ran across that was hilarious.
Look at this shit:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32754#528594
This jackass thinks he's above the rest of everyone here and he's really funny, and he really isn't. I wonder how old the punk is, and I wonder who the fuck has told the mother fucker he's funny to where he believes it.
Tonymontana is a complete jackass that tries to be exactly like maddox. No fucking originality in a god damn drop of blood in that pathetic body.
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2004-09-18 03:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what's with this rating trashing trend lately?
can't we all just get along?
Submitted by Steven_Jenkins (user info) at 2004-09-18 02:58:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Serving up another round...
Submitted by Thejudge (user info) at 2004-09-18 01:51:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Keep it up.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 01:28:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In reading the title, I'm sure Paul Hamm has eaten several dicks (purely speculation on my part).
In reading the post, well argued and thought provoking, but...
I (like most Americans, I suspect) could give two shits about the Olympics, and could give less than two shits about some pansy-ass gymnastics fruitcake.
+2 because you did an excellent job bringing this important topic to my attention.
Submitted by AntiTony (user info) at 2004-09-18 01:00:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I am an ass, but Tony is a much greater ass.
His lack of intelligence and large mouth earned his place right on a shitlist.
He also thinks ubersite is shit, and his website is "The Funniest Site On The Internet. Period." (cloudempire.com sucks ass).
He is on here to steal ideas and links from B@W.
Tony, you and your pathetic lackeys can go fuck off. You are unfunny, your website sucks.
You steal every last one of your ideas from someone else. You're weak.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-09-18 00:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Please don't get me wrong here. I have no feelings towards TonyMontana whatsoever. It strikes me that he might be kind of an annoyance, and I think he said something nasty to me when I wrote about my father, but this creating alters to trash someone's rating thing, it's been done. Too much. And it's annoying.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-09-18 00:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah... this is nice...
Stop, dude. You look like an ass.
Submitted by anti-tony_IV (user info) at 2004-09-18 00:42:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I can do this forever, Tony. You are a punk ass. Go ahead and send 15 people my way. I think it's funny. You are not creative, you suck. Your website sucks. Your friends suck.
So for every -2 I get from someone I will assume is one of your mindless lackeys, I will -2 you 5 times.
Submitted by Anti-TonyIII (user info) at 2004-09-17 23:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking -2 Die, dick!
Submitted by Tony_Montana_Sux_Dick (user info) at 2004-09-17 22:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
For every -2 you give, I will give you 5. You like this game? So do I.
Submitted by Anti--Tony (user info) at 2004-09-17 22:30:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You suck dick.
Submitted by AntiTony (user info) at 2004-09-17 22:20:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shit
Submitted by Anti-Tony (user info) at 2004-09-15 08:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by David <hannibalshead_sum41.at.hotmail.co> at 2004-09-13 02:14:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow... you say bitch alot... he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he FUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNYYYYYY
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-09-02 08:45:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because he did actually refuse to give it back-- and even explained why he deserved it.
But fuck the Koreans. They don't deserve it either. Bastards shouldn't have attacked Pearl Harbor. Or was that the Japanese? Know what? Fuck all countries that aren't above or below us. That'll teach 'em to bomb us.
Take our military men, we'll fight you back with our girly men in the Olympics.
Eat that, Chinese fools.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-09-02 08:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT! (The limiiiiiiit!)
WALK ALONG THE RAZOR'S EDGE,
DON'T LOOK DOWN JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD
OR YOU'LL BE FINISHED!
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-08-31 23:54:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1093505547961218522#769838
(For the record I already -2'd this post so this isn't any type of retaliation rating.)
Submitted by Stellasupernova (user info) at 2004-08-28 12:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
How can you say that Paul Hamm is a whiny bitch, did you see his performances? They were incredible. You couldn't do that stuff if your life depended on it, so back off. He deserved the gold.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-08-28 12:09:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2004-08-27 21:33:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
The fact that the judges might have made an error in judging Yang's performance is IRRELEVANT. Judging errors are a fact of human nature and are inevitable. Unless there is bias or foul play involved on the judges part, then those must be accepted as part of the games. But a MATHEMATICAL error in scoring is unacceptable because it has nothing to do with the performance of the individual, there is nothing subjective about it. Hamm is a whiny bitch and doesn't deserve to win. Think about how you morons would feel if you were from any other country other than America. You people are such morons. If you disagree with me then there is a 9 out of 10 chance that you are either poor, uneducated, or a combination of the two.
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i don't know anything about this; i don't watch the news. i don't watch TV at all. BUT, if it is about a mathmatical fuck up, then i'm with Tony here. if the judges just made judging mistakes, oh fucking well for Yang. i've lost out on shit because of judges, too. that's just the way it goes.
anyway, i really can't say either way because i haven't even seen the performances or know anything about what happened other than what i'm reading here.
Submitted by OwnedByBiafra (user info) at 2004-08-28 11:59:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"...the whole world thinks of him as having the same worth as a generic tampon."
Not even one of those high-quality tampons?
Submitted by JustAnotherHunter (user info) at 2004-08-28 11:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You must be Canadian. Paul Hamm deserved that gold medal, I don't care what anyone else thinks. He worked his ass off those last 2 events, working as hard as he could, even when he himself didn't think he was in contention for gold. Paul Hamm isn't a screw up for not giving back the gold. The South Koreans are the screw ups for not arguing the score when it should have been, which is directly after his routine. They started complaining only after Hamm was awarded gold, which shows the true bitches here. If you had paid attention in the news the last 3 days, you would realize somthing else, also- the judges screwed up twice on the scoring of the South Koreans routine. Once for not giving him a starting value of ten, and once when they missed the 4th hold of some kind (you are only allowed three). That 4th hold would have cost him two-tenths of a point, which would have placed him in fourth, not even in contention for a medal. The South Koreans should be extremely thankful that they were even on the medal podium.
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-08-28 11:11:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Would you give it back? Really? I mean, realy think about it. No. You wouldn't and you know it. So shut the fuck up and sit down.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-08-28 10:01:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Anybody who has ever even pretended to play a sport has had bad calls go both for and against them. It's part of the shit happens in sports. Didn't San Diego go to the damn SuperBowl a couple of years ago largely due to getting credit for a touchdown that never broke the goal line? Do you seriously think that they would bow out in the interest of fair play? It sucks, but from what I understand they should have protested it within some set time limit and they didn't. In other words, you've got to throw that red flag out on the field before the ball is snapped. Besides, there was some shit that I didn't quite follow about how the Japanese judge reduced the number of points that some technique or other was worth and made some of the Americans change the routines they've been practicing for years.
in short - shit happens - that's just sports - don't be a whinny bitch about it
Aren't there some silver medals in a vault somewhere from when the American basketball team got fucked and refused to accept them?
I also love how the citizens of Greece think that the US somehow rigged it so their boy would fail his drug test and we could sweep the whatever it was the 200 I think.
Submitted by pakifier (user info) at 2004-08-27 23:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not matter the circumstance Hamm as an American should rise above the contraversy and give up the medal by himself they shouldn't have to force him(which is against the rules). He Should give it up out of good faith. I agree that the olympics have many times fucked america in judging the competitions. However, the whole situation is bullshit one way or the other no matter what happens you aren't going to make people happy. If he doesn't give it up then fuck him and if he does fuck him. In fact fuck the whole damn olympics. We can kick all their ass'(if we had to not that we want to).
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-08-27 21:53:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whenever this topic comes up at work, a guy at my office keeps saying the same thing every damn time. "That's like forgetting to count a basket in basketball." Every.damn.time.
When we were watching the Canada/Cuba game the other day at the office, he kept acting like the game was live...although he had said that he had stayed up and watched it the previous night.
What does this guy have to do with this post? Nothing. I just really hate him.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-08-27 21:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
? what does being poor have to do with it?
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2004-08-27 21:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The fact that the judges might have made an error in judging Yang's performance is IRRELEVANT. Judging errors are a fact of human nature and are inevitable. Unless there is bias or foul play involved on the judges part, then those must be accepted as part of the games. But a MATHEMATICAL error in scoring is unacceptable because it has nothing to do with the performance of the individual, there is nothing subjective about it. Hamm is a whiny bitch and doesn't deserve to win. Think about how you morons would feel if you were from any other country other than America. You people are such morons. If you disagree with me then there is a 9 out of 10 chance that you are either poor, uneducated, or a combination of the two.
Submitted by facts (user info) at 2004-08-27 20:24:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Agreed.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-08-27 20:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by disAbled (user info) at 2004-08-27 20:01:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
Name a single sport where, after the event is officially over, the results will be changed if an error is found on the part of the official. Fuck off. That's like Sports Center demanding that MLB change its league standards based on footage that shows a mistake in an umpire's call. It's part of the risk of sports.
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Damn, I need to limit my responses to a few simple sentences to make that point.
PERFECT.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-08-27 20:14:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Mm, I see your point, but let's look at it from the other side of the equation - the judges made a mistake. The awards went out. It was the fault of the judges. Why should he be stripped of his medal? I, personally, would have given the medal back though.
In an interview, Hamm said he was fine with keeping the medal because the judges missed a mistake in the Korean's routine that would have landed him the same score anyway. Still, it's a no win situation I guess.
Submitted by somethingorother (user info) at 2004-08-27 20:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wrong, whore.
Submitted by disAbled (user info) at 2004-08-27 20:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Name a single sport where, after the event is officially over, the results will be changed if an error is found on the part of the official. Fuck off. That's like Sports Center demanding that MLB change its league standards based on footage that shows a mistake in an umpire's call. It's part of the risk of sports.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:59:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're so badass, Tony.
Submitted by Luckystar (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmm, i hadn't heard the whole story....
Dude, just take the silver and get over it!
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:56:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.tnr.com/doc.mhtml?i=sports&s=chastain082604
Good opinion.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:50:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
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Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:18:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
"The Olympics regulations prevent them from awarding a double gold in this situation and they cannot strip Hamm's medal so they requested that Hamm be gracious and do the right thing in giving Yang the gold. Hamm adamantly refused. The little bitch essentially whined "finders, keepers" and said he has no intention of giving up the gold."
if this is true, there is no bigger bitch in bitchdom than Paul Hamm. what a bitch...
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HAMM has stated he will abide by FIG rules. If they request the medal be given to the Koreans, he will gladly do so. He just won't do it on his own, and that's his right to do it. Why? THEY SHOULDN'T BE ASKING HIM TO CORRECT A FUCKING MISTAKE THEY MADE. The cowards won't fix their own mistake.
Hamm is a gymnist, which says it all in my book... But if you want to put the blame on him, you're an ass. Put the blame on the judges and the olympic committee for not fixing the problem themselves.
It would be like asking the RAMS to give the TITANS (on their own accord and good faith) the Lombardi trophy because the officials goofed up and declared them the winners. Come on now.
(This isn't against you, Hidden...although mostly I am. It is merely to make a point at whose fault it is for the mistake and who needs to correct it.)
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:50:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by whiskeyjack (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:33:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
your a fucking idiot you has know clue as to what he is talking about. When the Olympic judges went back and took another look at the competitions they not only found the error they also found places of the Koreans performance that they had missed, and with the mistakes they missed also added to everything it then still worked ou that the Korean lost.
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I was going to say this. Also, they would have scored harsher if they had been looking at a 10 routine.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:45:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Maybe the Koreans can give back Roy Jones Jr. medal while we are fucking around with poor judging mistakes. If you don't know what I'm talking about, why don't you check it out. RJJ kicked a Koreans ass up and down the ring and lost in 1988 because of a paid off judge.
What is amazing is that there are parts of the world that believe the Americans pay off the judges. That is laughable at best... Americans, overall, don't give a rat's ass about the olympics or who wins.
Fucking gym shit? No thanks. Fucking short-track speed skating? What the fuck is that? Oh yeah, Koreans. We paid the judges to give Ohno the gold just to piss in your Cheerios! Fucking short track skating... YEAH! I have loved that sport since I was 2. USA! USA! USA!
Fuck the olympics.
Submitted by TSO_CHICKEN (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:38:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:35:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Why not stop after "Paul Hamm is the American gymnast competing in the 2004 Olympics."
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:33:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me laugh.
Submitted by whiskeyjack (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
your a fucking idiot you has know clue as to what he is talking about. When the Olympic judges went back and took another look at the competitions they not only found the error they also found places of the Koreans performance that they had missed, and with the mistakes they missed also added to everything it then still worked ou that the Korean lost.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:29:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by corrector <jrrus.at.aol.com> at 2004-08-27 19:23:59 (#)
Ranking: -1
actually they mailed the notice asking Hamm to return the medal to the US and the US did not give the letter to Hamm and refused on behalf of him, so that it wouldnt have to be his individual decision.
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Submitted by notwelcomehurr (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you hear that pussy talk? He sounds like David Spade on helium.-
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:25:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dead balls on...
Submitted by corrector <jrrus.at.aol.com> at 2004-08-27 19:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
actually they mailed the notice asking Hamm to return the medal to the US and the US did not give the letter to Hamm and refused on behalf of him, so that it wouldnt have to be his individual decision.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:23:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree. What a brat.
Larry David deserves to kick this guy's ass.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:20:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did you have fun spamming me today? Stupid spoiled little brat.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-08-27 19:18:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The Olympics regulations prevent them from awarding a double gold in this situation and they cannot strip Hamm's medal so they requested that Hamm be gracious and do the right thing in giving Yang the gold. Hamm adamantly refused. The little bitch essentially whined "finders, keepers" and said he has no intention of giving up the gold."
if this is true, there is no bigger bitch in bitchdom than Paul Hamm. what a bitch...