What a Good Idea (524 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.14 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Cymak (View user info) at 2004-08-28 01:47:35 EDT
Someone was advertising Gmail invites. Whatever. I have two left I'm looking to get rid of.
The next two people to review this post with an alarmingly morbid joke get a Gmail invite; I will post a review saying who they have gone to so you don't have to keep writing in.
Of course, if people want to continue submitting alarmingly morbid humor, that is certainly welcome.
User Reviews
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-08-28 11:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If there's an invite left (and even if there isn't)...
What's black and white and red all over?
A referee with a javelin through his head.
"Mommy, mommy, what's a nymphomaniac?"
"Shut up and help me get Grandma off of the doorknob."
Submitted by Cymak (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
-Runs to the shower and starts scrubbing like a rape victim.-
"I can't get it off! Oh, God!"
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:30:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah phooey I just got Stab's out of nowhere. You wasted an invite Cymak, I'll send it back to you if its possible without opening it. But thanks a bunch anyway. And I'm the reason for your high ratings so I think that's some sort of compensation.
Submitted by Cymak (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience."
"He will learn patience."
Oh, shit, wait. Well, I sent it to the address given, and even replaced .at. with the @ sign to prove I'm not a complete idiot. I didn't get a returned mail in my box either.
Either your e-mail blows, you have shitty luck, or both.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:21:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nah
keep posting.
thanks! i got it.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:20:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Stab, my bulk and trash bins are as empty as <default analogy>.
and Cy I never got it.
Submitted by Cymak (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, this is now the second-highest rated thing I've submitted to Uber. And all I did was whore out Gmail invites.
-Hangs head in shame.-
I think it's a sign that I should go back to lurking, no?
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I sent. Did you check your trash bin? Maybe they are throwing out shit from gmail because they don't want the competition. Heh.
Who knows.
I got one rejected email, too. (not yours) but it still wasted an invite. Those fuckers!
Submitted by Cymak (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sent it, Sully, to the first address you posted.
"He will learn patience."
I'm out of invites now, so no one else gets any. Not even Koolmang, though I don't hate him.
Oh, and sorry, Hatman, that includes you, because that last friend I mentioned reneged on that. If that's really a word.
Aw, fuck it, you aren't reading this anyway.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:15:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Stabkill why'd you neglect me?
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:14:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Impatience is rising.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:13:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Basically, if you don't like koolmang, don't send him your invite.
If he's ok, send it to him. He needs one.
Submitted by Cymak (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:12:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:10:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
If my joke was good enough, send it to:
baba_booey_shooey.at.hotmail.com
And help out Koolmang. If not, tell him to go to hell.
-----------------------------------
What the fuck does that mean?
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:10:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If my joke was good enough, send it to:
baba_booey_shooey.at.hotmail.com
And help out Koolmang. If not, tell him to go to hell.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't need the invites, but here are some jokes:
1. Why doesn't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
2. The "Spitoon" Joke
A guy is driving back from Las Vegas to his home in a remote area in the middle of Nevada. He wasted all of his money, and has just enough for gas to fill the tank for the trip home.
In the middle of nowhere he breaks down. Because he wasted all of his money gambling, he has no water and no food. Walking for hours in the baking sun, he doesn't even think he'll make it out alive.
Finally he sees a bar in the distance and manages to crawl inside and drag himself up to the bar tender.
"Please, sir. My car broke down many miles from here. I have no water, and no money. Could you please give me a drink?"
"We don't give free drinks!" The bartender says.
"Please, sir. I'm afraid I'll die if I don't get a drink." He responds.
The bartender thinks for a bit and comes up with an idea.
"I'll tell you what. If you go over to that spitoon in the corner and drink from it, I'll give you a free drink." He offers.
The guy realizes he basically has no choice. He walks over to the bronze spitoon sitting on the floor and picks it up. He shakes his head from side to side in disgust and yet he brings it to his mouth and starts to drink from it.
"Haha. That's great." The bartender responded.
He still drank from the spitoon.
"Ok, that's good. I'll get your drink!" The bartender shouted to the thirsty man.
He continued to drink from the spitoon.
"Hey! Here is your drink!" The bartender shouts at the poor man who finally has the spitoon tilted all the way upside down until everything is gone. He then informs him, "Oh man, I told you to stop a long time ago!!!"
"I couldn't stop." He replied. "It was all in one string!"
Submitted by Cymak (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, I have a third, Hatman, but I was saving it.
Coincidentally, the friend I offered it to just got a Gmail invite from someone else, so it's now open, and now it's all yours. Congratulations.
Submitted by HatMan (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:06:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah poo I was too late, oh well.
Submitted by HatMan (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:06:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's two fucked up jokes.
What is red and pink and can't turn round in a corridor?
A baby with a javelin through its throat.
Another good one is...
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ?
Cancer.
I'm going to hell.
Submitted by Cymak (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good enough. Just want to be rid of these.
Sully and d_prime get them. Thanks for playing.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2004-08-28 02:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whats the difference between a jew and an apple pie?
apple pies dont scream in the oven.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-08-28 01:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, Sully is funnnnnnnnnny.
Really, I laughed at that lame Tony Danza joke. Sooooo sad.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-08-28 01:54:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So a guy was luggin a sack of dead babies down the stairs, and he accidentally trips. The babies fall out and roll a few stories before reaching a hallway.
Tony Danza walks out of his apartment just in time to see a bunch of dead babies roll down the stairs.
"Oh mahhh Gahhhd!"
The guy who was carrying them runs back down. He grabs one and throws it at Danza and the underdeveloped head (abortion) got stuck in Danza's mouth.
THE END
I made that up just now and its morbid so give me the damn invite.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-08-28 01:51:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck hold on I didn't see the morbid thing
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-08-28 01:50:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
crunchfever55.at.yahoo.com
He rejected me.