Make others nervous around you in one easy step! (721 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 2 on 2 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CodeBlue (View user info) at 2004-08-28 04:28:47 EDT
Lately I've been bored with the normal banter amongst my friends, so I decided to insert random things into conversations.
My friends know me as a sick twisted little bastard, but I figured I should get these reviewed before I use them in conversations.... these aren't serious, but I've always enjoyed the shocked looks on their faces, so here goes;
"So I was gutting this reindeer when this big fat dude in a red jacket and pants came up to me and said "Stop eating Dasher's liver" "Fuck you old man, I HAVE THE POWER" so I then yelled "AK-47, I CHOOSE YOU!!" and shot him in the kneecaps. Then I drug his wounded ass into the woods and buried him under a boulder in a pit... He kept saying something about "No Christmas for children" or some shit, crazy old people and their hysterics, everyone knows I'm Santa Claus"
"So I was strangling this prostitute the other day when the damndest thing happened; I found my wallet. It had been missing for almost two days, but there it was, plain as day. The problem that arises is that I think she was your bitch. I know it wasn't right, but it happened, I think she said her name was "candi", tasted more like pork though, especially with barbeque sauce."
"So I shot a 12 year old, the little bastard was listening to rap, it was justified. *works best if you have classical music blaring*"
"That cop sure was touchy, jeez. Torch one daycare center and BAM, they will cuff you and put you in jail, no warnings at all, like nazis I tell you."
If these recieve a warm reception I may post more, these are just a sampling, I have pages and pages from staying up late listening to my music and reading ubersite.
User Reviews
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-08-28 07:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love saying random shit to people.
This rules.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-08-28 04:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Goddamnit! This should've sucked big time, but for some reason, "AK-47, I CHOOSE YOU!!" made me bust out laughing. Damn you, damn you to hell!