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Cooking American food. (597 hits)

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Rating: 1 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)

Submitted by User10030 (View user info) at 2004-08-28 14:22:47 EDT

Here I will tach you fuckers how to make some Bald eagle nachos. It's great, and its so simple to make.

Ingredients:
Bald eagle
butter
Cheddar cheese
Tortilla chips
Salsa
salt
pepper
Jalepeño peppers, sliced
sour cream
green onions or scallions
Black olives
Fresh tomato
Lettuce

How to acquire your bald eagle:
I normally shoot mine. They aren't as rare as people make them out to be. The best part is, they mate for life. So if you find one, odds are there's another one near bye. Now, if your a fancy boy and don't like eating fod you killed yourself, you can buy some bald eagle here: http://run.petsorfood.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=P&Product_Code=ABE&Category_Code=B But it'll cost you a pretty penny.

How to prepare the bird:
The first thing your going to have to do is prepare your bald eagle. If you cought it yourself than rip out the feathers and cut out the innards. Also remove the head and feet. If you bought the bird, it should come already cleaned.

Now we have to get the meat off the bird. First, lay the bird on it's side. Now, grab the leg that's facing up, and push it towars the back until it dislocates. Next take a sharp knife and cut that leg off. Be sure to bring the blade in between the joints, you don't want to saw at the bone. Do the same thin for the wing, then flip the bird over and repeat on the other side.

Next, you're gonna want to lay the bird on it's neck, where the head used to be. Then, using a sharp knife, cut downwards in between the breast and back. this cut will be more ifficult since you have to cut through the ribs. Discard the back. Next, put the breasts skin down, and cut down the center, so you hve two equal breasts. Now, removet he skin of all the parts you have left. Then, you want to use the knife to remove the meat from the bone. try to cut as close to the bone as possible. Once the meat is removed, dice it into 1/2 inch cubes. And we're ready.

Making the dish:
I like to cook my bald eagle over a fire started using an American flag, but that's just a personal preference. Whether you choose to cook on a flag fre, or a stove top, you're going to need a good sized skillet. You want the skilet to be hot enough to cook in, but not hot enough to burn butter. On a stove, that would be somewhere between medium and medium-high, or about a foot above your burning flag. Now, put some butter in the pan and wait for it to meelt. Once melted, put in your bald eagle chunks and wait. Stir them occasionaly until you get a nice browning on all the peices. The pieces should be small enough to ook fairly quickly, but you are still going to want to make sure you cooked the meat all teh way through. Bald eagles are nasty fucking creatures and if you don't cook them thoroughly there's a good chance you'll catch some sort of dsease.

Once your bald eagle is done, add half the salsa (I didn't include measurments because it depends on personal preference and also the amount of bal eagle you have), salt and pepper to taste, and reduce the heat. You want to keep it all warm, but not cook the salsa.

Nex, on a large, heat safe platter. Arrange the torilla chips into a nice bed. Begin in the center and work your way outward until all the chips are used. Next, pour the eagle/salsa mixture over the chips. Grate the cheese and sprinkle it over everything. Put your oven on broil, and put the dish in there for bout 5 mins or until the cheese is melted.

Now it tim to add the cold ingredients. Dice the tomato, slice the peppers and black olives, al;l that happy horseshit. Please note, The letuce should be sliced, not left in leaves, however, if you slice the lettuce using a metal utensil it'll turn brown and nasty. it's best to use your hands. After the vegetables (and fruit, fucking tomato)are aded, pour a little bit of salsa over it (don't put oo much salsa, you don't want to drown out the bald eagle flavor. You're gonna want to taste tha bald eagle in your nachos). Finally top the dish off with agenerous dallop of sour cream right in the center.

This treat is sure to please any red-blooded american.

User Reviews

Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-08-28 17:48:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

Meh.

Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2004-08-28 17:01:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

is that site real?
ofcourse not.. but i can pretend and hope

Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-08-28 16:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

+2 for use of sarcasm and making fun of Fetish!!!

Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-08-28 14:28:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Ingredients:
Bald eagle

Now that got a laugh.