Are you a connector? (873 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: ocd
Rating: 1.79 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Corn Nugget (View user info) at 2004-08-29 12:47:48 EDT
It's a myth that there are two types of thinkers: Common Sense v. Book Smart
I am here to introduce a new thinker to you- Me. Or, specifically, a new way in which people think. You see, it can't just be ME who does this. Although I pride myself on my uniqueness and originality, I'm humble enough to know that there are 8 bajillion people out there who are more similar to me than I'd like to admit.
Let me set the stage for you.
(heavy red curtian sweeps across the stage- opening onto a whiteboard with one word written with a green dry-erase marker)
CONNECTOR
I think a lot. Everyone notices it. They berate me for it. Even Nike trys to tell me how to act. I hear things such as, "Quit asking questions!" and "Stop worrying" and "stop thinking!" and "not everything has meaning" and "can't you just accept it?" and "you're STILL thinking about that?" and "WHY are you thinking about that?" and "just DO IT!".
In my mind, everything has meaning. Everything relates. Everything CONNECTS.
I have never met someone who is better with directions. If I've been to a place once, I will always remember it. This isn't because I have a stellar memory, it's because I don't take anything for granted.
(a small boy runs out on stage and wipes the whiteboard off- a projector in the back of the room flips on, using the board as the screen. Two motorcycles are rolling down a desolate highway.)
That's me on the back of the white bike. We've been driving for 5 hours... we have no destination, we're simply riding away from the storm. The clouds to the north look dark, so we turn left and head south. The plan: To Get Lost.
This is a very bad plan with Corinne involved. I know exactly where we are. We're in Hell. Hell, Michigan, that is. We haven't reached the town yet, but I know where we are because the name of the road is Darwin. Last time I went through Hell I noticed the road. Funny how Darwin is the Road to Hell, eh?
I lean forward and tell the driver that we're almost in Hell. "How do you know?!" the only thing we've seen for the past hour is farms and fields. I explain that the road name stuck in my head. "When have you been here before?"
Hmm... When I was 12, I think.
We ride for another few hours and reach a lake. There are no signs- only houses dotted along the shore. They wonder what lake it is. I know the name of it. I recall the boat docks- they reminded me of a scary movie. I have had a dream about those boat docks.
"Womplers" I tell them. They scoff. There are a million lakes in Michigan, and they all look the same, it's nearly impossible to tell any of them apart. A little further down the road we see a sign, "Walter J. Hayes State Park" it says. Then below that- "Womplers Lake".
"When have you been here?" he asks. I honestly don't know. I just know I've seen it before.
(projecter reel ends... you can hear the flap flap flap of the loose film. curtians sweep back across the stage, closing with a dusty whoomp)
How I connect things with people may be a bit more interesting.
I walk into a house that I've never been at. I know the people there rent it- how do I know? Good question. There are subtle differences between owned homes and rented houses. The house itself is quite shabby- it needs new paint and the screen on the door is coming lose. The boards on the porch are warped and wobbly.
Inside the house- Immaculate. Extremely neat and orderly. We walk out back for introductions. "Corinne, this is May and Bryon." he says. They are both in their 40's. They have a few teeth missing (Bryon has NO teeth, actually). Bryon is drinking Michalob Light, May is toking on a joint. They are not wearing wedding rings. I can tell that they haven't been together long... not more than 4 years. Probably 2 or 3. They are in love.
I know them, imediately. I know May is a housekeeper, and Bryon does something industrial. I know they met in a bar. I know Bryon liked May long before they started dating. I know so much about these two people within minutes. I know she is polite. I know she is the type of woman to clean up her table at a resturant- stacking the plates, wiping the table, and re-arranging the salt and pepper. He is the type of guy that accepts anything. Nag at him, it's okay. Tell him what to do, that's fine. Tease him, he likes it.
How?
I am constantly absorbing information and filing it away. If it's not presently relevant, it may be relevant later. Some people say I can be shy. I'm not shy, but sometimes it takes so much of my effort to take in my surroundings that I don't have time to talk.
Car trips consist of me noticing every single house. I pay attention to every field, every bar, every gas station. I notice how they are similar to other things I've seen.
I know people. I know that certian people do certian things. If someone laughs at a joke, but their eyes are not smiling, that tells me something about them. I'll wonder if they always do that, and when someone says something funny, I'll quickly go on alert- is the other person smiling without their eyes again? In social circles I know who's who. I know who hates who, who has a crush on who, all of this simply because of the way people use their eyes.
May tells me she works at the hospital. A stab of disapointment runs through my bloody heart. "you're a nurse?" I ask.
"Oh, no, I'm a housekeeper." HA motherfucker!
I quickly relate a story about the burn center- I tell her how hard it was for me to walk down the hall, and I commend her for being able to work in such an emotional environment. I ask what Bryon does.
"He's a steel worker." Two for two, baby.
A little while later I ask how long they have been together.
"Two years". And how did they meet? "We went to the same bar, and after a few months he finally got the balls to get me drunk and take me home."
Yep. I was right. We went out for dinner, and sure enough- May cleaned the table up after we finished eating. "Bryon- go pay the bill." May says. Bryon hops up and goes to the register. When he comes back she tells him to leave a good tip, he throws some money on the table. She stacks it up nicely.
The quiet people fuck with me though. I know that they are doing the same thing I am doing. They are Paying Attention.
It's the quiet people who will fuck with you. They will know you sooner than you want to be known. I'm hip to that- Herpes is a manipulative motherfucker, and I know why he's being quiet. Unfortunatly I'm not one step ahead of him as I am with most people, but I'm running right along next to him.
SO- let me spell it out for you. If my posts don't make sense to you, it's because my brain works on overdrive all of the time. Do you get frustrated with how I focus on mundane things? Do you wonder how I could fill a whole page with NOTHING? If you have a hard time following me, and find yourself annoyed at the lack of linear thinking, I'm sorry.
You'd hate to be in my head.
The people who enjoy how I write are two types:
Other Connectors
Easily amused
User Reviews
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-09-17 15:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoy how you write. Which one am I?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-09-01 00:41:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ate- you're just bitter because of your divorce.
It's okay, you'll die soon.
Submitted by AteMyNeighborsShit (user info) at 2004-08-31 23:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you're perceptive; nothing more.
here, let me tear your argument apart for you:
1-you classified people into 2 types.
fuck that. you know there are more than 2 types. you know there are people with neither common sense NOR book smarts. you also know there are people with both at a much higher level than yourself. you like to think of yourself as unique? sounds like you've been through a lot for your age. all that means is you are what, where, and how you are right now. Not better. Not smarter. Hell, not even unique. You are 'you'.
so you're good with directions? congrats! it will help you find your way home from the trailer you sucked dick in last night to the trashy shithole you undoubtedly live in.
nevermind; I'm going to stop at that.
and remember, although your methods for acquiring attention are SOMEWHAT different than the techniques used by other mindless whores, your need for attention is just as strong making you a mere face in the crowd of insecure women that riddle the streets and fields of earth.
my advice: find a man that will tell you who to be and what to do. else you'll blame society in your inevitable suicide note.
Submitted by hummer_please (user info) at 2004-08-31 10:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I found myself reading this in the same way that you're meant to look at those 'magic eye' images.
"My eyes... the goggles do nothing..."
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-08-30 19:47:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-08-29 22:37:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
This post could be made into a movie.
_____
Do it, baby!
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-08-30 18:55:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm almost the same way... but I have to be 33 steps ahead of everyone else. I always think "If I do this, and they do that, then I do this... and so on and so forth. That's how I've become the manuipulative mother fucker that I am. You'd think I'd be the best chess player in the world, but alas, I'm only fucking awesome at it.
Try and keep up kid. You're doing ok.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-08-30 14:16:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm so great. ta ha ha
With all this... you know, the "how I think"... the thing that scares me is how close to insanity we all are (by "we all" I mean "me").
Submitted by Dr. Stevenson <dr.stevenson.at.your.mom's.house> at 2004-08-30 13:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dominator
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-08-30 10:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And people say, how do you know that? and you know you just... do.
I'm like you too.
Heaven help us both!
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-08-29 23:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am a connector.
At times the one thing I want to connect is my boot with some turkeys arse.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-08-29 22:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post could be made into a movie.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-29 21:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That almost seems... psychotic. Like Will Hunting type shit.
+2 for being Will. Remember- it's not your fault... it's not your fault.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-08-29 21:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i thinnk the word you're looking for might actually be 'maniac'
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-08-29 21:20:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! I liked this.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-29 19:26:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love your writing.
Submitted by sunjunkie04 (user info) at 2004-08-29 17:33:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm dumb.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-29 14:14:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Probably easily amused
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-29 13:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GlitchCowman (user info) at 2004-08-29 12:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment