Why do young girls feel the need to fall in love with my handsome ass? (With a Little Camwhore action) (2397 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CaptainAmik (View user info) at 2004-08-30 00:10:56 EDT
So this has been a crazy summer here in Ontario. I think aside from my drinking and working all summer I seem to have attracted the attention of the wrong people...mostly young girls' parents. I mean I haven't done anything illegal or really wrong, however thank god I am going to be outta this town in 3 days.
So back to the subject, I'm 22, a bartender, skateboarder, fairly athletic good looking guy, enough of my self-appreciation. Over the summer I have noticed 2 things, I drink too much, and it seems girls aged 15-18 are in love with me. It all began in June... (Insert wavy flashback lines now)
So me and a few of the guys got off work around 1 am, giving us an hour to get as shitfaced as possible. We're drinking our beer, taking our shots and 2 pretty damn hot girls came a sauntering into our dive. I knew one of them, well needless to say, I know her older brother, but her friend was an enigma to me, so she came up and said flat out:
"So you gonna buy me a shot?"
Me: "Me buy you a shot? Yea why not..."
Now I think to myself...drunk girls are fantastic, so I ordered her a blowjob...I grab the whip-cream filled glass and place it right between my legs.
Me: "Go for it"
So now, you can imagine the scene when she looks up and it's a scene out of my favorite bukkake movie...if I had to choose a favorite. The night goes on and the drinks flow as quickly as we can pound them back and this girl has cleaned up and moved to my lap... (Fast forward)
Standing outside the boys have wished me luck with my new found bar pick-up...
Her: "I really like you"
Me: "So what we gonna do about this?"
Her: "I have something to tell you..."
Me: "Huh?"
Her: "I'm 15"
Me: "You were 15 like 4 years ago right"
Her: "Nope.......Hey?!?! Where are you going?"
Me: "Gotta work in the morning"
Now I think to myself, I could have nailed that little hottie but I really do like the free world and have a great fear of prison. So I am still working and playing the field, had a 28 year old girlfriend for awhile just so you don't think I am only attracted to younger girls.
So a girl I work with, I know she's 17 and I won't be fooled again, apparently is now stalking me, and by stalking I mean waiting for me to get off work every night at 1 am, coming to Tim's after I get off work and paying for my coffee, then telling me how much trouble she is getting into for hanging around me. I swear if I hear "My dad wants to kill you" One...Maybe Two more times I am gonna spite fuck this poor little girl...Why? You may be asking. Well just cause then at least I will have a good reason to have my ass handed to me by her old man.
(I guess I was just looking for an excuse to post myself hehe, story is true though and young girls love me)
User Reviews
Submitted by anderson (user info) at 2004-09-01 02:31:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA funniest post ever... where did you get that pic. Dumb fuck, what a looser :)
funniest pic ever!!!
U RULE!
not.
Submitted by Nomad (user info) at 2004-08-30 17:30:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
What...the fuck...is on this motherfuckers head?
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-08-30 17:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Submitted by dukkha (user info) at 2004-08-30 12:35:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
Coming up next on VH1's Behind the Makeup... Ronald McDonald. "
Priceless.
Submitted by Alexicon (user info) at 2004-08-30 17:13:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yuck
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2004-08-30 14:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually, in Canada, the legal age is 14.
http://www.ageofconsent.com/
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-08-30 12:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice
Submitted by dukkha (user info) at 2004-08-30 12:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Coming up next on VH1's Behind the Makeup... Ronald McDonald.
Submitted by WTF? at 2004-08-30 12:33:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You totally look like my psycho ex-roomate
who killed my bunnyrabbit out of jealousy.
Thanks for giving me nightmares
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-08-30 12:32:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I REALLY want that to be your real hair. Is it?
Submitted by Shit_Flinging_Ape (user info) at 2004-08-30 12:29:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Man, is THIS a classic case of denial!
===I like girls dammit GIRLs not guys not cocks oh jesus wait WAIT I'll sling some shit on uber and theyll back me up theyll see what a straight-shooting pussy-wrangler I am!!!===
Classy digs. I can see why the girls never want to leave.
Submitted by NETHOS (user info) at 2004-08-30 10:41:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU'RE SHIT AND NOBODY LOVES YOU!
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-08-30 07:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Haha! Circe's reply p0wNz j00!
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-08-30 07:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You look like a spanked ass.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-08-30 07:32:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They're attracted to you, dumbass, because young girls typically have a fear of rejection and they don't want to get turned down by a good looking guy.
Submitted by pilot_light <ltchard.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-08-30 04:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're a ginger paedo, they'd lynch you from the nearest tree for that back in England.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-08-30 03:08:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dude, don't look now, but you've got a mongoose on your head.
Don't move, it might be dangerous! Hold on, I'm going to try and smash it with this baseball bat.
Submitted by Cymak (user info) at 2004-08-30 02:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Remember the good old days, when men's hair care consisted of shampoo and a comb?
Yeah, I wish they were still here, too.
Submitted by Vanilla (user info) at 2004-08-30 02:12:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, i don't know why their attracted to you either.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2004-08-30 00:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
kinda funny... a lot of jealousy here.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-08-30 00:53:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If i moved to whereever you lived i'd attract every female there.
Im really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking
(+2 as you are going to get ass raped on the reviews)
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-08-30 00:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well if it isn't the leader of the weiner patrol, boning up on his nerd
lessons!
-- Homer Simpson
Boy-Scoutz n the Hood
Submitted by CaptainAmik (user info) at 2004-08-30 00:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bartender...17 year old hostess...also a restaurant during peak hours
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-08-30 00:37:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
d00d, your hair does NOT have to be the same colour of your national flag.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-08-30 00:35:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Scott Wyland called, he wants his look back.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-08-30 00:35:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bartender + works with 17 year old girl= shenanigans.
Submitted by chris <noemail.at.email.com> at 2004-08-30 00:35:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what a goat.
Submitted by CaptainAmik (user info) at 2004-08-30 00:31:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You think that negative ratings will hurt my feelings? Boohoo!!! You think I have an ego problem...I just think you suck at life.
Submitted by EvrenWasHere (user info) at 2004-08-30 00:31:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And that was funny as hell, timmah.
!
!
!
V
Submitted by EvrenWasHere (user info) at 2004-08-30 00:29:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Because your ugly.
Heh, just kidding. I actually haven't and proabably wont read it. I'm just that lazy.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-08-30 00:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Kellio (user info) at 2004-08-30 00:22:44 (#)
Ranking: -2
I used to have a problem attracting younger women,
====
But now the thirteen year olds are just rolling in?
Submitted by Kellio (user info) at 2004-08-30 00:22:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I used to have a problem attracting younger women, but the last thing I'd do is write a post about it, patting myself on the back and saying how handsome I am. I was going to say that you better deflate your ego a little, but I'd say the following reviews are going to do it for you.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-08-30 00:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what he said
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V
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-08-30 00:14:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-30 00:12:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy. I'm the magical man from
Happyland in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Laaane! Oh, by the way, I
was being sarcastic.
-- Homer Simpson
Flaming Moe's