The Oak (512 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.9 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Deadly (View user info) at 2004-08-31 22:47:13 EDT
Archie straightened his back and raised his eyes from the dusty road, after reaching down to pick up his old worn leather case he composed himself. Looking ahead Archie's eyes beheld a mesmerising sight. Absorbing the beauty he was momentarily hypnotized. In the distance he could make out the outline of their meeting place, the acre stretch of field blanketed with buttercups. The heavenly pale blue skies complimented with flocculent white clouds, their old solid oak tree. The place where they found themselves, together. His heart pounded as lightening ran through his veins.
Archie beamed as he wondered if she'd be there waiting. She'd not failed him yet.
Would she race towards him with outstretched arms, auburn curls taking flight behind her? Would she wait for him at the foot of the oak tree to greet him in the shade with the irresistible offer of her soft crimson lips? Would she... tic..tic..tic; distracted from his thoughts he glanced at his pocket watch. "Darn.... 2:30.... no time to waste"
As he abandoned the dusty road for the comfort of softer more familiar ground, Archie picked up the pace. Approaching the old oak he closed his eyes and inhaled, her light, sweet, pure scent lingered in his nostrils and at the back of his throat. To taste and smell her was to need her.
Greeted with a kiss and promises of forever, they're both content.
As each time before this he opens his worn case and retrieves two tin cups and a bottle of homemade rose petal wine. They indulged in an afternoon of intoxicating passion, coming together and feeling whole again. Every second savoured and treasured, theirs to keep.
Pouring the last cup of the rose petal wine he looks at her, takes her hand and kisses it gently.
"Archie, it's time for me to go...are you coming?"
"Go on ahead, I'm going to relish the last drop whilst watching the sunset...I'll follow you shortly"
Archie raised the cup to his lips and drank to the last of the 50 years without her.
After the tired, white haired old man welcomed the sunset he closed his eyes.
With a light warm breeze Mother Nature beckoned him home.
User Reviews
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-09-04 11:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-09-04 09:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was good.
Submitted by Deadly (user info) at 2004-09-01 10:36:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is there a sequal because the ending dies off quickly?
__________
No, that was the end.
I lack experience with my writing skills.
Maybe because i've only been capable or reading and writing for the past 18 months.
Submitted by bigbabylons (user info) at 2004-09-01 07:26:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very nice indeed
Submitted by airbournstar (user info) at 2004-09-01 07:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Tickled me really, made me read on....
is there a sequal because the ending dies off quickly?
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2004-09-01 07:09:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm usually a hard faced bitch. This made me smile. Nice!
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2004-09-01 03:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love this to no end, and the picture really enhances it as well
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-09-01 01:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Serious writing does not get enough attention around here. While your story rocked, you would have gotten many more hits and reviews with a title like "Whacking your meat in memory of your dead wife under an old STD-infected tree."
Keep up the good work. Some of us appreciate it.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-01 01:17:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The writing didn't flow as well as it could have, and it felt flowery and overdone.
That said, the emotional impact of the story was enough to outweigh anything it might have lacked in style.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-08-31 23:04:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Touching and heartfelt.
I liked this very much.
Submitted by Deadly (user info) at 2004-08-31 22:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
she'd died 50 years prior,but he'd still visit her at their old oak tree.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-08-31 22:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good descriptions, but I felt a little let down at the end because you didn't really explain what the hell was going on.
What 50 years?