The Internet and the Death of My Attention Span (639 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetRating: 1.75 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by V.i.P <victorisperfect.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-09-01 05:02:17 EDT
I was watching MacGyver a little while ago, and I was entertained. This is not something unsual because, although somewhat dated, the show is one of the few entertaining things on TV. This isn't going to be a rant about TV (that's much to easy) because ranting, regardless how fun, just ends up pissing me off even more. No, no, no, this is something different. While I was watching MacGyver, I noticed he always talks to himself while he's fixing things. Some of you will say that he's just narrating what he's doing to the audience, but you'd be wrong. He's confident and self-assured, and doesn't care what anyone around him thinks because, well, he's MacGyver.
The point is, I often find myself talking to well, myself. It's a habit I've delepoed over the years. I know I'm not the only one who does this, but my reasons may be different. I oftentimes seem to be doing it because I figure I would be more interesting to talk to than anyone else around. This becomes an absolute certainty after I attempt to talk to the troglodytes that I seem to find myself surrounded by. I have just recently realized that I cannot stand to talk to most people for more than five minutes before I become bored. Most people aren't interesting, and the few that are interesting tend to be horrible storytellers.
I wasn't always short of attention. When I was younger I could listen to people drone on and on about their boring lives for minutes on end. If there was a chance I was gonna get laid I could feign interest for hours (something I still do from time to time). Initially seeing my shortened attention span as antagonistic, I searched for the source.
In 1996 I attained a state of bliss I can never recover from, I obtained internet access (yes, I was a late bloomer). The plethora of knowledge and information was boundless and infinite. I could find out about anything, or look up porn. How the Gods had smiled upon me. I crammed useless information and knowledge, as well as quite useful porn, into my head as often as I could. I could read things for hours, if I got bored, I'd switch to something else. Then it all came crashing down.
In 1997 I came across a program called ICQ (it's like an old-school version of Yahoo Messenger or AIM for all you young'uns out there). ICQ allowed me to talk to my friends instantly, without having to call them. I ran into strangers and perverts and lions and tigers and bears, oh my. But, there was a dark side. ICQ (and the instant messenger programs that followed) allowed me to multitask. I didn't have to be astute or observational. I could ignore people and answer them later. I grew a short attention span. This would eventually flow from the internet into my physical world.
Having discovered the source of my affliction I began to ponder. I thought of all the conversations and knowledge I had lost, of everything I had missed. I thought of all the pointless drivel and mind-numbing, skull-fucking I've missed by not paying attention to people for longer than a few minutes. I smiled as I realized how great having a short attention span can be. Yeah, so I can become easily bored, it forces me to find excitement. So my phone calls are short and abrupt, it saves me minutes. So I don't find what most people have to say interesting, it's not really. I also realized that if you only talk to people briefly, they find you intriguing and exciting, you never have time to bore them. Thanks to Instant Messenging and the Internet, I'm always exciting and people wanna talk to me. Too bad I won't listen for longer than five minutes.
Oh, and if you couldn't finish reading this, don't feel bad. If this article would have taken more than 5 minutes to write, it would have never been finis... time's up.
User Reviews
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-09-01 23:15:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i wish i could say i read that whole thing... but after "MacGuyver" i just sort of wandered outside.
Submitted by ppolly100 (user info) at 2004-09-01 23:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe this is the same reason why I can't pay attention to people. Your boring 2, but it was a good article.
Submitted by ASSMAN (user info) at 2004-09-01 12:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and
old people are useless.
-- Homer Simpson
Homer the Vigilante
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-01 07:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for ' I ran into strangers and perverts and lions and tigers and bears, oh my'
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-01 07:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2004-09-01 07:09:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I also had ICQ and a short attenti.......
*goes to chase butterflies*
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-09-01 06:25:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was wondering what happened to mine. I thought it was drug induced but you have enlightened me.
fuck I should be doing a document now, why am I rating this ?
Submitted by Spookster (user info) at 2004-09-01 05:20:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell, I still have ICQ.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-09-01 05:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for ICQ back in 1997 when it was owned by Mirabilis.
Fucking AOL scum.