Showdown - It was time (683 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.67 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by gamma (View user info) at 2004-09-01 12:17:12 EDT
My face twisted in fear and disgust, anguish enveloped my body as I stared at my foe. I knew there was only one option. There was no point in running. Fleeing would do no more than delay this fateful battle. The showdown before me was inevitable. It had to be dealt with.
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Going camping for two weeks, I knew that I would be faced with encumbrances. One of them, my seemingly allergic reactions to mosquito bites, last time three bites causing my hand to be swollen to twice its normal size. However, everything ahead of me paled in comparison to IT.
Fast-forward a two days into my trip. We were submersed in wilderness at Fundy National park in Alma, New Brunswick - Home of the highest tides in the world. My girlfriend, her dad, and his wife were sitting at the picnic table chatting, so I decided to venture off on my own.
I walked around the park for a short while, enjoying nature at its finest. Suddenly, a feeling inside me told me it was time. I knew I had to find my adversary and face my fears. Many people have conquered this foe without even flinching. I've even witnessed kids vanquish it, and leave the experience smiling and laughing. As with most things in the world, there are several varieties of this abomination. I have been faced with the species found in large cities a few times - winning, but definitely not smiling afterwards.
I found a quiet grassy area in the park as I sat down and meditated. I closed my eyes, letting the sound of waves, the wind, and the rustling of leaves endow my spirit with the courage that I would need. I sat motionless for what seemed like hours.
"What the fuck are you doing?" asked my girlfriend with a confused voice.
"Shhh, I can't be disturbed right now," I replied swiftly.
"Freak!" she screamed as she walked away.
I sat a few more moments, taking in everything around me. A gust of wind blew on me. I knew it was time. I took a deep breath, got up, and charged like a madman to where I was almost certain I would find the enemy, as I have studied the foe, and have learned many things about it. It generally lurks in confined spaces...probably to make it easier to capture its prey. I dashed right in front of it, and I stopped in front of it. Frozen with fear, my body would no longer cooperate.
I stared at it, and it stared at me. Both of us motionless, I began to dissect the image before me. There at arms length in front of me, almost in a mocking manner, it stood. Its jaws wide open; I could see the liquids formed inside its mouth. It almost looked as though it could swallow me whole. The sight horrified me, disgusted me, and paralyzed me all at once.
Then, I spotted something. There was a large arachnid crawling on its back, spinning a web. Remembering fables about friendly creatures rendered evil by discomforts such as thorns in their feet, I wondered if disposing of the spider would mitigate my enemy's temperament. If I wanted to do so, I would have to do so carefully, and quickly, as to avoid any attack it might offer.
I shook my legs lightly, to reaffirm to myself that they were still working. In a flash, I took a step forward, a step beside it and grabbed the spider, carefully dropping it into the open mouth beside me. It swallowed, and continued to look at me menacingly. All I had done was increase its hunger.
Disappointed that man original plan had not worked, my mind began to work. I stepped back, performing moves I had learned in kung fu in an attempt to scare it, but it stood unaffected by the display before it. Fighting it and hitting it would do no good. I may be able to end this one's existence, but I would eventually face another. A sinking feeling filled my stomach as I knew what had to be done.
My only hope was to feed it. Feed it in hopes that I would suppress its hunger so it wouldn't swallow me. Feed it I did, and it felt good. After doing so, the mouth that once seemed so menacing almost seemed to smile at me.
I walked away, washed my hands, and stepped out relieved in more ways than one. I had conquered it. The public washroom.
User Reviews
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:05:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'd read it.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2005-05-09 13:37:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
woah, ladyplural is still alive :o
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-05-09 11:14:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I care! I care! LIAR.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2005-05-09 10:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hehe wiki, this series is so far in the past now. I don't think anyone cares but you anymore :P
I've lost all my ideas anyways
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2005-05-06 15:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-10-21 18:26:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
TFIU!!
Oh, sweet gamma.. you're making me sad.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-01-03 17:03:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-11-27 12:32:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE ARE YOU?!
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-11-27 12:32:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE ARE YOU?!
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-10-26 22:31:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
:(
I still heart you
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-10-21 18:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
TFIU!!
Oh, sweet gamma.. you're making me sad.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-10-14 09:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff... yes work and school keeps people busy... boooo
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-10-13 16:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excuses, excuses. If you REALLY loved us, you'd write another. About two weeks ago.
What?
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-10-06 13:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry WiKi/Lady
Been incredibly busy since school started, and I'm only working part time now, so I don't have that much Uber time.
I'll try to get another installment out sometime in the near future...no guarantees though.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-10-02 09:08:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was awesome.
But, I'm in serious TFIU withdrawal.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-09-29 17:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ummm... The Future is... UBER! So write another one, damnit.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow, so few reviews today =\
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-09-01 17:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and here i thought it was a bear.
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-09-01 12:54:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was great!
Now get back to the future is uber please.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-09-01 12:26:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic!!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-01 12:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow.
Just take a crunch squatting against a tree if public toilets freak you out so badly.