The Drawback of Modern Video Games (1346 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.25 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sketch9 (View user info) at 2004-09-01 19:33:39 EDT
I know what you're probably thinking, "too much violence", or possibly, "not enough violence", or perhaps, "Buttered popcorn".
If you're thinking any of these things, you're dead wrong. What's lacking in today's video games is the ability to fully express your anger or hatred for a character that you will invariably have to kill. I mean, blowing their head off is fun and all, but does it really express that pent up frustration? Does chopping a hooker up with a chainsaw really make you feel that much better? Death is everywhere in video games, thereby dulling down the edge it once had.
Which is why we need to push the envelope. Step beyond the boundaries. Play hopskotch in the ghetto.
I present to you, "The Rape Button".
What is "the rape button" you ask? its very simple, a button, or button sequence, that, when engaged, makes the main character rape whoever is in sight. Think of all the possibilities!
You're sitting there playing Mortal Kombat, or Tekken, or, if you're old-skool, Killer Instinct. You've worked your way through many an enemy, decimating each with the precision and lethality of a hand grenade in a confession booth. Eventually it will happen: the 'cute girl' will kick your ass. Horribly. She will mop the fucking floor with you.
Now what would make you feel better than beating the living shit out of her, then, to top it off, rape her and blow your load in her face? (not in real life, just the character..... perv.)
Nothing really describes how frustrated you were with that character for making you lose than raping her.
Now, it doesnt really have to be a girl. Shit, you can rape Shang Tsung if you really feel like it. The point isnt who you rape, the point is having the option to do it.
Think about if they included the rape button in the next Grand Theft Auto! It would be insanity! It would be ridiculous! It would be the best game on earth!
You just stole a Lamborghini knock off and happened to crash into the inevitable cop car that comes speeding up and over a hill, then swerves into your lane. Now you had just been on one hell of a getaway run, and this ignorant pig fucks it up.
You could either:
A) Kill him in some horribly bloody and brutal way
B) Drive off
C) Hit him with a baseball bat, then rape him on the hood of his patrol car. (possibility: while releasing your seed in this fat pig's ass, you could shoot him in the back of the head. satisfaction.)
You could be walking down the street, and, if you felt so inclined, rape a passing pedestrian. Why? Why not? Normally you'd just shoot em, but why not take it all the way?
Anything worth doing, is worth doing right, I say.
But the "Rape Button" concept doesnt have to stop at violent video games. Imagine the look on Bowser's face when Super Mario bends him over and rapes him with the awesome invincibility star power. Classic. Years of video gaming fun.
Now i know what you're going to say in response to this. "Rape is bad!" you'll cry.
Well, no shit, dipstick. So is murder, but nobody seems to care that it's prevalent in video games.
So why not rape? Personally, I think that it would make for a more entertaining video game experience.
All Hail The "Rape Button"
User Reviews
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-01-13 19:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for camping on your own post and giving yourself a +2.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-01-13 19:15:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by only_slightly_bitter (user info) at 2004-12-16 22:09:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gold. I've always wanted to give Yoshi one.
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2004-12-01 03:31:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Now i know what you're going to say in response to this. "Rape is bad!" you'll cry.
Well, no shit, dipstick. So is murder, but nobody seems to care that it's prevalent in video games."
It was a 0 until those lines.
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-11-29 20:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
im just gonna re-review this... in the hopes that someone else will read it.
i really liked this piece and i think it deserves more attention. because im a whore.
Plus 2!!
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-09-02 15:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by floyd (user info) at 2004-09-02 13:11:48 (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU STOLE THE IDEA!
RAPE BUTTON IS ALREADY AROUND!
http://www.rapebutton.com
and i know the guy that runs that site...and it has been up alot longer then your idea!
the original idea was started when a korean was playing postal 2 and wanted to be able to rape people!
get your own ideas!
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wow... uhh, first of all, no. second of all, he put the word "rape" on a keyboard. That has nothing to do with my idea. Or my post. third of all, i dont care how long his site has been up. because ive never fucking heard of it till today.
The end.
Submitted by floyd (user info) at 2004-09-02 13:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU STOLE THE IDEA!
RAPE BUTTON IS ALREADY AROUND!
http://www.rapebutton.com
and i know the guy that runs that site...and it has been up alot longer then your idea!
the original idea was started when a korean was playing postal 2 and wanted to be able to rape people!
get your own ideas!
Submitted by Kellio (user info) at 2004-09-02 06:28:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now i know what you're going to say in response to this. "Rape is bad!" you'll cry.
Well, no shit, dipstick. So is murder, but nobody seems to care that it's prevalent in video games.
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That is indeed a very valid point. If you are going to glorify murder, then why not glorify all immoral behaviour? It's not like rape is any worse then murder.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:41:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:21:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by butterball (user info) at 2004-09-01 23:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But the "Rape Button" concept doesnt have to stop at violent video games. Imagine the look on Bowser's face when Super Mario bends him over and rapes him with the awesome invincibility star power. Classic.
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I SO hope that video game manufacturers read this.
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-09-01 23:00:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ASSMAN (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:33:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
who wants to rape a Nazi? I just want to blow the ever loving fuck out of them
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i just realized that this comment has dirty implications. Blow on, ASSMAN, Blow on!
and everyone should notice that the start button says "RAPE".
Submitted by Gizmo (user info) at 2004-09-01 22:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for old school video games
+1 for making rape funny again.
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-09-01 22:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*shakes head*
i are so going to hell.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-09-01 22:23:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for this post. I'd give you another +2 for being old-school legit (Mortal Kombat, KI, etc.), but that's not how things work in the uber-world.
Submitted by bootleg (user info) at 2004-09-01 22:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*pushes rape button*...*pushes it again*...*pushes it multiple times repeatedly*
i think it's broken. but yeah, that would kick so much ass. sorry, i mean pound so much ass
Submitted by pacificsharp (user info) at 2004-09-01 22:01:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are so going to hell...
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you can rape me anytime
Submitted by whiskeyjack (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:39:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like it, you need to contact SONY
Submitted by ASSMAN (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
who wants to rape a Nazi? I just want to blow the ever loving fuck out of them
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny funny
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
duke_prometheus, i was talking about the latest installments of said titles. since there is a new tekken, and a new mortal kombat, killer instinct would be, by comparison, old school. Im not talking about the series themselves, just the most recent games.
Submitted by MrRottenTreats (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:07:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd love to see the rape button.
Althought it would probably end up like manhunt, which is banned in NZ and Dixons, Currys, PC World ect have stopped selling it becuase it 'inscensed' (sp?) a school kid to kill his best friend (england)
My Arse
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:06:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
disgusting? i would have figured cutting someone's torso up into a bloody mushy pulpy mess with a chainsaw was disgusting. apparently the video gaming public disagrees.
Submitted by Duke_Prometheus_III (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually the last killer instict title was on the N64. Don't tell me to stick my hand in a blender just because I corrected you, jesus. Just because Mortal Kombat titles are still being made doesn't mean a fucking thing, since it's the earliest version of the game that determines how old school it is. Chump change.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:05:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:02:37 (#)
Ranking: -2
no thanks. Thats disgusting.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no thanks. Thats disgusting.
Submitted by Jimmy (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
genius
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:00:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
im aware that mortal kombat is older than killer instinct. but they're still making mortal kombat games. Killer instinct stopped with SNES.
Go stick your hand in a blender.
Submitted by Duke_Prometheus_III (user info) at 2004-09-01 19:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Mortal Kombat is more old school than Killer Instict, you jackass.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-09-01 19:49:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You fuckin alternate-lifestyle sphincter-shredding faggot!
Submitted by russizm (user info) at 2004-09-01 19:44:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the FBI would monitor where the rape button controllers sell the most, and hunt em down!
sicko's!
Submitted by cheruboo (user info) at 2004-09-01 19:40:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
not too shabby