Rate this, biatches. (886 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.3 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by AlahAckbar (View user info) at 2004-09-01 20:41:17 EDT
I'm pretty fucking tired right now. I started college on monday, and homework is eating up my time and my soul.
Anyways, my history professor is a fucking wack job, but in a good way. He gave us the assignment of choosing one topic (out of 6) and writing an essay on it.
So Anyways, I've chosen my topic, and since this is the first actual paper I've written for college I'm submitting it to you to grade. Obviously, the grades are -2 through 2.
I'M NOT WRITING THIS TO GET ON MOST HEATED, I'M NOT TRYING TO START ANY ARGUMENTS, I'M NOT TRYING TO PISS ANYONE OFF. I'm trying to get advice on how I can either better this, or if I'm completly screwed for every single paper I will ever write.
Here is the question, and the essay follows.
QUESTION:
"We (us...this class, you and me) have a RESPONSIBILITY to protect and preserve the concept and practice of Democracy in the world as we live in it today. Why, or why not?
ESSAY:
The idea that America and Americans should preserve and protect democracy is not a new one. Throughout the years, America has challenged more then one country who's government did not fit our ideals of being "correct" or "proper". Facisim in Africa is one example, and the fight to stop the spread of Communism in Korea is another.
But what about how the actual IDEALS of democracy should affect our actions, and how (or if) we should preserve and protect democracy?
The entire idea is something held so tightly by most Americans that they fail to realize that by "protecting" democracy, they may be actually going completely against it. Democracy, at least to me, is all about the people: Allowing the people to decide what is best for their country, what is best for themselves, and what is best for the world.
But what if the people DO NOT WANT to be under a democracy? What if the people want to be communist, such as the Chinese did during their revolution, or if the people WANT to be socialist, or fascist, or even anarchist? Isn't the entire idea of democracy to give the people the right to choose?
I would think that if the people of a country do not want the government of their country to be democratic, then we should allow them to make the decision, because that is what democracy is about. If for instance, Australia wanted to become communist, and the people of the country supported that, do we have the right to go fight and say that they can't? Isn't that actually going AGAINST democracy?
But what about here in America? What if the people wanted to become communist? What if the majority of people wanted to overthrow the government and start anew? Would we have a responsibility to defend our Government and fight against those who wish to overthrow the Representative Republic we currently have? For all intents and purposes, no we shouldn't. Fighting against the will of the people in itself is against democracy. The real question is, I feel, not if we have a responsibility to defend democracy, but if we actually have the RIGHT to.
I don't honestly think we do. I think that if the will of the people want something besides democracy, then we as a country should support that.
User Reviews
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-09-03 09:22:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Man, those camwhores were forever ago.
Sorry bout that.
Yesterday he re-did how he wants the paper done, which is making me rewrite it.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-09-02 21:24:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just because your professor doesn't spell check really doesn't mean you shouldn't write the best damn paper possible. I mean, it doesn't hurt, and it's easy to do.
I'll give this a C, but to be honest, I don't think any of my professors would even accept that as a paper.
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Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-09-02 20:55:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-29 23:17:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
Much as I'd like that to be true, this was a shit post.
From "alahackbar died in his sleep today"
What did I do to piss you off?
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I think it had to do with a couple of different fake camwhores a while ago. I don't really remember, so tell you what- I take the comment back.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-02 21:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ackbar...you have the thinnest skin of almost anyone with half a brain in Uberdom.
How you'll make it through college being the "sensitive fellow" you seem to be is anyone's guess.
I flame EVERYONE, regardless of race , sex, creed, color, or income.
Although, if you have nice titties, you sometimes catch a break.
Don't take it so personally, son. I gave you a + in at least ONE post somewhere.
PS> I'm a 6 handicapper.
Although I'm playing like a pig these days, I did card a 76 at The Legend's Course, Ussher's Creek, Niagara Falls, on Saturday.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2004-09-02 21:07:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, if spellcheck isn't necessary, and perfect grammar isn't a requirement, I think that is actually pretty good. Especially for having started it today.
I think the content is great, but I do agree with whoever said you should cite some more specific examples of where the US has intervened to defend democracy, and perhaps more importantly what the result of that intervention was.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-09-02 21:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-08-17 16:11:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
It's already been forgotten by me.
But here's another -2, just for old times sake.
I don't hold grudges. I don't remember who I flame from day to day.
LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-09-02 21:01:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-02 20:42:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
They let YOU in College?
Man, they'll let any dork in these days, as long as their parents have a line of credit, I guess.
I thought we buried this shit, you know, LIKE ADULTS.
Apparently your're no better then fetish.
P.S. I can beat you at golf, too.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-02 20:42:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
They let YOU in College?
Man, they'll let any dork in these days, as long as their parents have a line of credit, I guess.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-09-02 20:39:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-09-02 17:24:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll read the rest later, but for now you get a +2 just because I'm really pissed off to find out that you are a fucking freshman. As often as I find myself quoting your replies on posts, I'd have hoped you were a little older. Dick.
uh.....
1.5 years after highschool dicking around + 4 years military + 2 years deciding exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life = 7.5 years out of highschool......
I'm 25.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-09-02 17:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll read the rest later, but for now you get a +2 just because I'm really pissed off to find out that you are a fucking freshman. As often as I find myself quoting your replies on posts, I'd have hoped you were a little older. Dick.
Submitted by vodka7tall (user info) at 2004-09-02 09:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
He said, and I qoute
"I don't use spellchecker, so I don't care if you don't either"
"I don't want you to go and look up a hundred different sources: I want to know how you FEEL about the topic. I want controversy! I want THINKING! Anyone can copy out of a text book or the internet the answers to these questions. I WANT YOU TO THINK FOR YOURSELF!"
In his sylibus, he states that that the course goal is to "Teach you how to THINK, not how to follow."
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The problem is that the essay isn't really offering your thoughts or ideas. You ask a lot of questions, but you don't really state your opinion on what the answers to those questions are. You do at the end, but a one line paragraph is hardly enough.
You've got some great ideas, now take them and run with them. Answer your own questions in depth.
And regardless what he says about spelling and grammar check, do it anyway. It's distracting to the reader, which takes away from the ideas presented. IE: the use of the word "who's" as opposed to "whose" in the first paragraph was distracting enough for me that I didn't really absorb the point you were trying to make. And lose the ALLCAPS. If you must emphasize something, use italics. (I know you can't do that on Uber, so not criticizing, just reitterating.)
Good start, but definitely needs work. Working with the following scale:
-2 = fail
-1 = pass
0 = C
+1 = B
+2 = A
You'd get a -1 if it were up to me - just enough to get by.
Submitted by retarded_ape123 (user info) at 2004-09-02 08:24:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You don't try to piss anyone off, you piss everyone off.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-02 07:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The grading for the course is 20% midterm, 20% final, and 60% homework.
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Lucky bastard, I always get this shit: 30% midterm, 60% final, and 10% homework.
Submitted by JungleJane (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's good, but in the first line it says "then" it should be "than". Sorry, I'm a copywriter.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-01 22:59:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The sovereignty of the people is inalienable. ~ Napoleon
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-09-01 22:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, when I tried making that point, some people tried calling me a 'traitor'. So much for free speech.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-09-01 22:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
But if its under a communism, it wouldn't be the people's right to decide anything, therefore it wouldn't be their right to change to communism, and eventually it creates a political paradox.
Good points, though.
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-09-01 22:40:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i completely agree with your point. But you have to spruce it up a bit for an essay. Just cosmetic changes, the point is immaculate.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-09-01 22:24:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Stayed tuned tommorrow, when i bring you part two, which i called "Alahackbars second attempt at something he is probably making too difficult."
I've rewritten, and it is now twice as long.
Submitted by camor (user info) at 2004-09-01 22:02:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well that isn't too bad then. Sounds more like a philosophy class as history relies on citings and references from other texts, but hey, his class I guess.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-09-01 21:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2004-09-01 21:40:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
You call that an essay? Thats less than one page. I didnt write an essay under 5 pages in my entire undergraduate studies.
Yeah, I should have said that he didn't want us to do reasearch, that he didn't want us to write a book: he wanted us to think about the topic and prove our point in 5 paragraphs.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-09-01 21:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I probably should have also informed you all that the professor is really big on the word "speculate".
For instance, the actual assignment is "Speculate in five paragraphs or more about blah blah blah".
He said, and I qoute
"I don't use spellchecker, so I don't care if you don't either"
"I don't want you to go and look up a hundred different sources: I want to know how you FEEL about the topic. I want controversy! I want THINKING! Anyone can copy out of a text book or the internet the answers to these questions. I WANT YOU TO THINK FOR YOURSELF!"
In his sylibus, he states that that the course goal is to "Teach you how to THINK, not how to follow."
He defines "Speculation" as "to engage in a course of reasoning often based on INCONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE. Contemplation and/or Consideration of asuject resulting in an opinon which may be based on INCONCLUSIVE (yet to be added) evidence.
The grading for the course is 20% midterm, 20% final, and 60% homework.
All homework is in essay form, and all of it is speculation.
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2004-09-01 21:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You call that an essay? Thats less than one page. I didnt write an essay under 5 pages in my entire undergraduate studies.
Submitted by camor (user info) at 2004-09-01 21:23:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Write your essay as if your prof has no idea what democracy is
Submitted by camor (user info) at 2004-09-01 21:21:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have gotten to add to this. Give more specific examples (War of 1812, WWII). First you must look at and explain how democracy was created and how it works.But not only about mainstream politics, get further down into municipality politics like who the dog catcher is or which road to repave. Who makes these decision, is it a vote or just people in office deciding for themselves. Also look strongly at the beginning of USA history and how they handled democracy especially George Washington. But you must justify your opinion from the original theory, not the practiced method.
Submitted by Smithstudd (user info) at 2004-09-01 21:20:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
My essays for grade 10 Social had more bite than that......Your going to have to try harder
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-01 21:08:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Honest rating: C-
+2: starting grade
-1: Too many questions, not enough answers.
-1: Spellcheck!
-1: Many of my professors would hand a paper back with an 0 on it for using ALL CAPS like that.
Grade: -1
As for content, I can't help you, every instructor is prof is different.
I suppose I should take another -1 for being a toolbag, but what the hell. I haven't done my 3 good deeds for today (I'm one short) and it's getting late.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:54:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Also, the last few paragraphs are repetitive.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Decent point.
Run it through a spellchecker, cut down on the all-caps words (distracting), and, unless this is a one page paper, write more.
I'll leave it to someone else to give advice on the subject matter.
Submitted by ardubs (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:51:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A few grammar fixups and you'll have a nice piece. I agree with your argument too.
Submitted by UncleTeddy (user info) at 2004-09-01 20:47:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Welp, I kinda liked what you had to say, but it is hard for me to rate this paper and not say anything controversial...... GO COMMUNISM! Screw those greedy capitalist pigs! OI OI OI!
See... There I went.