Weapons of Mass Turbation (NSFW) (10211 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.63 on 177 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sully (View user info) at 2004-09-02 01:05:42 EDT
Most guys remember their very first time coming in contact with the female anatomy and have a story to go along with it. You know like finding your dad's stash of girlie mags or seeing your grandma in the shower, etc. My personal tale of innocence lost took place when I was in second grade...
It was during lunchtime. I went into the boy's room to piss just like I did everyday before I ate, since it was convenient. So I walk in and there's Mike Berg, Mike Aveson, Steve Goley, and I believe Danny Ianotelli (not 100% sure about him) all huddled in the corner of the bathroom looking at something.
I go over to one of the miniature urinals and start pissing while trying to crane my head to see what they're up to. They were kneeled in a circle and mumbling. I caught the words 'cool' and 'gross' a few times. After I was finished, I flushed, neglected washing my hands as always, and walked over to the guys. I knew all of them really well.
"What are you guys doin?" I asked, crouching down also.
"Hey man, check this out," replied Mike Aveson. He pushed a cut-out picture from a playboy towards me. There were several on the ground that they were looking at.
"Whoa!" I stared at the blonde woman who wore a see-through scarf over her left breast. That's all she was wearing. Her legs just happened to be spread too.
"Ith that nathty or what!" said Steve, a lisper. He meant nasty like disgusting nasty, not cool nasty, however he had a huge smile on his face so I don't really know exactly what he meant.
"Mike, this girl doesn't have a dink," I said in a concerned tone, holding the picture up to him and pointing.
"Girls don't have dinks, stupid. They have holes," declared Mike Berg as he held up two of the pictures. Each girl indeed had a hole.
"Oh...where'd you get these?"
Mike Aveson, the owner of the pictures said: "I found them in a magazine my dad has and I cut 'em out. The whole thing was filled with naked girls like these."
"Cool," I said and continued to look at the pictures.
Thirty seconds later, the bathroom door opened and we saw old lady shoes and a long dress walk behind the barrier. In every bathroom there was a plastic barrier so that no one from the hallway could see inside the bathroom when the door was open, unless they went in.
We scrambled. I went inside one of the stalls and closed the door. I heard the pictures being snatched up and stuffed in pockets. I also heard Steve say "Down the toileth! Down the toileth!!"
"Michael Aveson! Let me see what you have there, young man," said an older feminine voice. It was Mrs. Kingsley. I then heard slow footsteps and then Mrs. Kingsley yelling: "Michael Berg! Daniel Ianotelli! Do not move a foot. You boys are coming with me to see the principal." They all moaned in response.
"And Stephen Goley, I see you hiding under the sink. You're coming too. Out in the hall, all of you," she said. I sighed a bit, imagining I was off the hook.
"Young man, please come out of that stall, right now."
Fuck.
I flushed the toilet so that at least I could say I was going pee. I opened the stall door and walked up to her.
"Sully the Pirate, what did I say about wearing that pirate hat in school?"
"Sorry, ma'am," I took it off and held it.
"Do you have anything to do with these pictures?" she held them up to my face.
"Uh...no?"
When it was all over, me, Mike Berg, Steve, and Danny all got 3 days of staying in for recess (a pretty big punishment back then) and Mike Aveson got a parent-teacher conference (equivalent of beheading). To this day I don't know why Mrs. Kingsley decided to come into the bathroom.
Just that small dose of pornography poisoned my fragile little mind forever.
If it's one thing that movies, television, magazines, and the internet have taught us, it's that mammary glands are teh awesum!11!!1
Here's to God for inventing porn.
User Reviews
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-07-19 05:51:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm pretty sure one of those chicks is Natalie Portman.
+ infinity. I can die now.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-02 23:43:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ATTN: 100. The most wanks came from the very top
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-27 23:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ATTN: I've splooged to this 85 times now. I'm seeing if I can go to 100
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-09-11 20:18:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
dear jebus man! how many boobie pictures do you have?!?!?!!?!
hooray for.... well... having so many pictures i guess... you should make a dedication to cocks!
Submitted by facenuts (user info) at 2004-09-08 12:56:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Third one up from Carl is Brianna Banks I believe.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-07 17:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Death_Metal, fine you can have an invite if you still want it. Twat.
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-09-07 15:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GO CARL WINSLOW AND COMIC BOOK GUY WOO!!
go bears woo!!!
Submitted by blingshizzle (user info) at 2004-09-07 13:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, what's carl winslow doing in there?
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-09-07 02:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-03 00:02:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Nancy, grow up.
Death, no its not. Carmen Electra is Carmen Electra and Tera Patrick is Tera Patrick. And its not Tara it's Tera.
I'm not talking about Tera Patrick, the porn star.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&safe=off&q=carmen+electra+real+name+tara+patrick&btnG=Search
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-06 14:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know who either of them are, and both are unattractive anyway. Next time login you coward.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-06 04:42:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent.
Who is the third girl up from Carl Winslow? She's in front of some blue flowered curtains and shoving a dildo up her puss --- and who is the girl just to the left of the first girl's head, standing in front of the pool?
ANSWERS. PLEASE!!!
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-06 03:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-09-02 20:26:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for having Cheyenne Silver up there. I've always loved her. I like watching Jenna Jameson and Electra and all that, but I would actually marry Cheyenne, porn career and everything. MMMMMM MMMM GOOD!
------------------
I don't even know why I put her up there. She's the most regular looking girl in adult film. I'd never marry her especially with the porn career. Goddamn slut!
The only people I'd want to marry pictured above are Adriana Lima (aka Razor's sister) or Carl Winslow, mainly because of sex appeal.
Submitted by RolusD (user info) at 2004-09-05 22:42:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You get a +2 just for comic book guy. Shweet...
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-05 20:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I disagree.
Submitted by glory at 2004-09-05 20:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not lonely! If I really wanted sex, I could have it. With plenty of girls!
Ah, fuck it.
wackwackwackwackwackwackwack
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-05 19:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, there's 41 pictures altogether. Here's all of the people in no particular order:
11 of unknowns
3 of Ashley Robbins
2 of Adriana Lima
2 of Aria Giovanni
2 of Heidi Klum
2 of Monica Bellucci
2 of Kyla Cole
1 of Sunny Leone
1 of Linday Lohan
1 of Heather Graham
1 of Angelina Jolie
1 of Natalie Portman
1 of Kirsten Dunst
1 of Tyra Banks
1 of Carmen Electra
1 of Jessica Biel
1 of Drew Barrymore
1 of Uma Thurman
1 of Halle Berry
1 of Tera Patrick
1 of Comic Book Guy
1 of Carl Winslow
1 of Cheyenne Silver
1 of Amber Richards
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2004-09-05 19:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that was fucking funny
no pun intended
Submitted by Mike <iswimalot25.at.hotmial.com> at 2004-09-05 16:36:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah prase the fat black police officer
Submitted by 01011010 (user info) at 2004-09-05 15:20:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My penis landed on "F7"...
Submitted by redzone (user info) at 2004-09-05 14:41:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hurray for sad men who can't play girls so they need to look pictures.
hurray for those girls who dont mind being exploited
Submitted by nudol (user info) at 2004-09-05 07:12:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i just masterbated again!
encore, encore!
Submitted by nudol (user info) at 2004-09-05 07:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thank you! you have no idea how hard i just masterbated!
can anyone list name by pic? all the people you know on here! i wana masterbate even harder
who wouldn't?
Submitted by glory at 2004-09-05 03:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gotta go masturbate...
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-09-05 03:07:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
booby overload!
Submitted by webbfoot420 (user info) at 2004-09-05 00:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-09-04 20:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I think the attachment was longer than the post.
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-04 19:59:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck u it dont matter because i got gmaile now anyway HA!! slime
Submitted by bla (user info) at 2004-09-04 09:09:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-04 03:09:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah, and Nancy, I guess you missed the part about not copying someone else's list. Thanks for the heat, skank. You're out.
Submitted by RAIMEE <PIRYNNE_18.at.YAHOO.COM> at 2004-09-04 03:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THANKS THAT WAS HOT.
NOW I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO WORK ON LOOKIN LIKE.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-04 02:10:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i masterbated to the natalie portman pic wooooooo!
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-09-04 02:02:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and i skipped the artice...
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-04 01:47:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Banks, Tyra
Barrymore, Drew
Bellucci, Monica
Berry, Halle
Dunst, Kirsten
Electra, Carmen
Graham, Heather
Jolie, Angelina
Klum, Heidi
Lohan, Lindsay
happy!!!!!1
give me my gmail
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-09-04 01:01:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Adriana Lima and Natalie Portman are the two most beutiful women in the world, bar-none.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-04 00:58:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
According to my rules, your submission only counts if you give me a +2.
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-04 00:39:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Banks, Tyra
Barrymore, Drew
Bellucci, Monica
Berry, Halle
Dunst, Kirsten
Electra, Carmen
Graham, Heather
Jolie, Angelina
Klum, Heidi
Lohan, Lindsay
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-03 23:59:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't put the numbers in front or you get no credit.
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-03 23:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
1.Banks, Tyra
2.Barrymore, Drew
3.Bellucci, Monica
4.Berry, Halle
5.Dunst, Kirsten
6.Electra, Carmen
7.Graham, Heather
8.Jolie, Angelina
9.Klum, Heidi
10.Lohan, Lindsay
GIVE ME GMAIL!!!!!!!
Submitted by The_Walrus (user info) at 2004-09-03 23:09:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn. I was starting to hope this pictures were never going to stop....
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-03 22:23:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you hate this post so much, then stop hanging around it. I'm not going to give a gmail invite to you unless you tell me 10 people above in alphabetical order, etc., just look at the rules I'm not explaining it again. Even if you get 10 I won't give it to you because you're just so fucking annoying. And also you're not being that mean to me, I'm the one being mean to you. Hopefully your whole 'dumb binge-drinking bitch' thing is just an act or something, otherwise you were raised disgracefully.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-09-03 20:30:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-09-02 13:23:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
The girl in the top right looks so frighteningly like my little sister that I was unable to enjoy any of the rest of the pictures.
------------------
*chuckle* Is she single?
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-03 20:21:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
email it 2 me at nancy_herbu.at.yahoo.com
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-03 20:18:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
sully... if u give me a gmial thing i wont make funna u nemore
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-03 18:59:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pacifist, rule 7 clearly states that you cannot copy someone else's list. You're out.
Submitted by Pacifist248 (user info) at 2004-09-03 18:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1.Banks, Tyra
2.Barrymore, Drew
3.Bellucci, Monica
4.Berry, Halle
5.Dunst, Kirsten
6.Electra, Carmen
7.Graham, Heather
8.Jolie, Angelina
9.Klum, Heidi
10.Lohan, Lindsay
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-09-03 17:24:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was very young when i found my older brothers stash of skinbooks.
i thought my brother was some kind of god for years after that.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-09-03 16:24:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't get a boner until I saw Comic Book Guy. But I was expecting the same results.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-09-03 14:30:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EVAR!!!!111one two too
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-09-03 14:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Adriana Lima. She has got to be the hottest woman of all time.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-09-03 14:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehe.
First time i saw a nudie magazine I was maybe 5 years old. Found a stack of them in a resevoir across the street from my house. Took out every single picture and spread them all over the ground.
When my mom came to get me for dinner I was arranging my artwork. She never said a word about it, but the next day I went to look at my creation and all the pictures mysteriously dissapeared. I also noticed that the old man was spending a lot longer in the bathroom than usual. Hmm...strange indeed.
Submitted by ScoutCJustice (user info) at 2004-09-03 13:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2 for the random pictures of comic book guy and that black actor that always plays a twinkie eating cop.
Submitted by ScoutCJustice (user info) at 2004-09-03 13:27:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic Post.
Submitted by Despiadado (user info) at 2004-09-03 11:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Absolutely Awesome.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-03 10:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome title.. good post!!
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-09-03 02:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
plus fucking two.
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-03 00:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
dam I mean -2. fuck u i'm kind have bean drinking lol im going 2 sleep and i'm to tired to aregue bye
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-03 00:23:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
First of all, thanks for the +2. Second, yes I'm telling you to grow up. Third, it's spelled 'distasteful.' Fourth is that this post wasn't made just to be distasteful, it was meant to be... ok it was distasteful. Fifth, you still owe me your password because I beat you fair and square in that submission thing we agreed to. Sixth, die.
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-03 00:17:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ur telling ME to grow up?? Ur the one who made a whole post filled with nude women for no reason other than to be distateful.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-03 00:02:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nancy, grow up.
Death, no its not. Carmen Electra is Carmen Electra and Tera Patrick is Tera Patrick. And its not Tara it's Tera.
Submitted by HatMan (user info) at 2004-09-03 00:01:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Comic Book Guy
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-09-02 23:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Carmen Electra's real name is Tara Patrick
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-02 22:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
did u understand that u fucker
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-02 22:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HUGE COCK!!
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-02 22:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SUCK
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-02 22:36:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
absolutly
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-02 22:35:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
u
Submitted by NoahsArk (user info) at 2004-09-02 21:51:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did I mention this post rules?
Now I never have to leave ubersite!
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 21:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nancy I have no idea what the fuck that says. Talk english and I'll answer you.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-02 20:32:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nancy is just bitter because NO ONE on planet Earth wishes to see her fat, jiggly, cottage cheese ass naked.
Plus, she's as dumb as a box of socks.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-09-02 20:26:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for having Cheyenne Silver up there. I've always loved her. I like watching Jenna Jameson and Electra and all that, but I would actually marry Cheyenne, porn career and everything. MMMMMM MMMM GOOD!
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-02 19:46:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oops i should have spaced out that mmmm porn thing.
I DID NOT WRITE THAT> I REPEAT I DIDN"T WRITE THAT.!!
scroll down to where Downerstain said that thing i really didnt' say mmmmmm poooorn i swear on my fathers grave.
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-02 19:42:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-09-02 17:35:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:39:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Im not -2ing u becuase of the other thing i'm 2ing u because ur degrading women you slime.
--------------------------
How is it degrading if the women CHOOSE to do it? I could understand if it was like, random upskirts some pervert with a camera phone took, but these girls like doing this. So in conclusion, fuck you and all other uptight, stick in their ass feminists.
p.s. - mmmmmmm poooorn. downerstain u r such a cock. I dont like it when i'm misunderstood and and Im sure you dont either. I meant that sullythepirate is degrading women by putting a whole page of nude women in his post for no reason. he shows tha the has no respect for us and I'm sort of surprised that noone else caught that.this post shouldnt have a positive rating either?
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Listen, you have gmail. Spookster has gmail. Everyone's happy. Your list was correct, fine. You don't have to defend it to the grave because it's not like you'll get anything other than gratification.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-09-02 13:23:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
The girl in the top right looks so frighteningly like my little sister that I was unable to enjoy any of the rest of the pictures.
------------------------
Is she leagal?
Submitted by pyromax (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 for being a cunt
+2 for having the forethought to put #7 on the rule list
I never insulted you wrongfully i just pointed out that you were wrong then you got all defensive i think someone has some issues they need to resolve. You can respond however the fuck you want I dam done with this post. Oh and I never told you to give it to spookster.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah and #7 which is titled "Something else" was broken too. You can't copy someone else's list.
HOO CARES HOW OLD I EM LOL OMG WTF GIV THAT SPPOKSTA DA GMALE FUCKHED -2 DIE!1! LOL WTF
Submitted by pyromax (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:32:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh i forgot something MINUS FUCKING TWO
Submitted by pyromax (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:31:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ouch that hurts oh wait no it doesn't who the fuck cares how old I am. i just wanted you to know that the list is correct so the next person who copies it should get it provided that they give your greedy ass a +2.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How old are you, twelve? Who cares if the order is fine, you already have an invite so you don't need another. And spookster didn't give a +2 in his response, plus to my knowledge he got an invite from the professor.
Submitted by pyromax (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You are very welcome I just wanted to make sure you knew the alphabet seeing as how you said both of mine were in the wrong order when neither of them was.
There is that better?
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:18:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the -2 you immature shit. You said you already had a gmail invite so why do you care? Besides Spookster didn't give a +2 which is clearly rule #3.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 03:20:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Here are the permanent rules:
1. You must name 10 people not counting CBG and Carl Winslow pictured above.
2. You only have one guess or two if I think you deserve it.
*3. If you rate below +2 you won't get squat.
4. Your name can't be bob.
5. The names must be in alphabetical order by last name.
6. All spelling must be 100% correct or you get nothing.
7. Something else.
8. You also cannot say Adriana Lima.
9. Or Aria Giovanni.
10. Follow the nine rules above.
If you do this, you get a gmail invite.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't even READ this and I'm giving it a +2.
I can't figure out how I didn't come up with this title.
Outstanding.
Submitted by pyromax (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:14:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I dont see how the alphabetizing is off at all, I checked about 5 times before i posted it.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:11:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The never-ending porn scroll. Winslow was a master stroke.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:08:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Spookster it doesn't matter. Your alphabetical order is off anyhow so you're out. Besides that, I see a goose egg where there should be a +2 you nazi.
Submitted by pyromax (user info) at 2004-09-02 17:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
random joe below = me
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-02 17:54:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're welcome spookster. It doesnt really matter to me anymore because I just got one from professorfuckface. I didn't even have to spend an hour looking at naked women, not that I minded.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-09-02 17:52:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ten(10) of the people pictured above, not counting CBG or Carl Winslow
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-09-02 17:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:39:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Im not -2ing u becuase of the other thing i'm 2ing u because ur degrading women you slime.
--------------------------
How is it degrading if the women CHOOSE to do it? I could understand if it was like, random upskirts some pervert with a camera phone took, but these girls like doing this. So in conclusion, fuck you and all other uptight, stick in their ass feminists.
p.s. - mmmmmmm poooorn.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2004-09-02 17:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You bombed ubersite with more porn. I am sure Bart is proud of you. :)
Submitted by NoahsArk (user info) at 2004-09-02 16:59:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BEST POST EVER.
Submitted by Spookster (user info) at 2004-09-02 16:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pyromax (user info) at 2004-09-02 15:56:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
I am sure these are correct and I can prove it. I dont know if i get a second chance or not and if i dont I just saved someone alot of time.
1.Banks. Tyra
2.Barrymore drew
3.Bellucci, Monica
4.Berry, Halle
5.Dunst. Kirsten
6.Electra, Carmen
7.Graham, Heather
8.Jolie, Angelina
9.Klum, Heidi
10.Lohan, Lindsay
----------------------------------
Yes, he just saved me a lot of time.
Here's the list:
1.Banks, Tyra
2.Barrymore, Drew
3.Bellucci, Monica
4.Berry, Halle
5.Dunst, Kirsten
6.Electra, Carmen
7.Graham, Heather
8.Jolie, Angelina
9.Klum, Heidi
10.Lohan, Lindsay
Submitted by pyromax (user info) at 2004-09-02 15:56:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am sure these are correct and I can prove it. I dont know if i get a second chance or not and if i dont I just saved someone alot of time.
1.Banks. Tyra
2.Barrymore drew
3.Bellucci, Monica
4.Berry, Halle
5.Dunst. Kirsten
6.Electra, Carmen
7.Graham, Heather
8.Jolie, Angelina
9.Klum, Heidi
10.Lohan, Lindsay
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-09-02 15:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for carl winslow
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 15:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know. I was drunk or somethin.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-09-02 15:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why did you almost ruin this with all those words on top?
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 15:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-09-02 13:23:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
The girl in the top right looks so frighteningly like my little sister that I was unable to enjoy any of the rest of the pictures.
-Your sister's hot.
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Submitted by kingjc (user info) at 2004-09-02 12:52:09 (#)
Ranking: 1
for having the time to go through your personal porn collection and find your favourite photos. must have been like a walk down memory (or should that be mammary) lane. :)
-Indeed.
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Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-09-02 12:39:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Banks, Tyra
Barrymore, Drew
Bellucci, Monica
Berry, Halle
Graham, Heather
Jolie, Angelina
Klum, Heidi
Lohan, Lindsay
Patrick, Tara (Carmen Electra)
Sims, Molly
-What the hell is with Molly Sims. She's not in here so stop saying her name, all of you. And Tera Patrick is not the same person as Carmen Electra if that's what you're implying.
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Submitted by pyromax (user info) at 2004-09-02 11:44:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
1. Banks, Tyra
2. Barrymore, Drew
3. Bellucci, Monica
4. Berry, Halle
5. Electra, Carmen
6. Graham, Heather
7. Hurley, Elizabeth
8. Jolie, Angelina
9. Klum, Heidi
10. Lohan, Lindsay
-Incorrect order alphabetically and also one or more people you listed aren't in the collage.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-09-02 15:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-09-02 13:23:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The girl in the top right looks so frighteningly like my little sister that I was unable to enjoy any of the rest of the pictures.
Submitted by kingjc (user info) at 2004-09-02 12:52:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
for having the time to go through your personal porn collection and find your favourite photos. must have been like a walk down memory (or should that be mammary) lane. :)
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-09-02 12:39:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Banks, Tyra
Barrymore, Drew
Bellucci, Monica
Berry, Halle
Graham, Heather
Jolie, Angelina
Klum, Heidi
Lohan, Lindsay
Patrick, Tara (Carmen Electra)
Sims, Molly
Submitted by pyromax (user info) at 2004-09-02 11:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1. Banks, Tyra
2. Barrymore, Drew
3. Bellucci, Monica
4. Berry, Halle
5. Electra, Carmen
6. Graham, Heather
7. Hurley, Elizabeth
8. Jolie, Angelina
9. Klum, Heidi
10. Lohan, Lindsay
Submitted by lrw (user info) at 2004-09-02 11:43:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+4 for Carl Winslow cuz he's the hottest
-3 for red heads... *shudder* i have a phobia
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-09-02 11:15:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's a lot of naked.
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-09-02 11:13:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're right.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 11:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was reading the paper this morning and I thought I read something about Sully's Weapons of Mass Turbation is the greatest nsfw post of all time. Anyone else hear about this?
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-09-02 08:48:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for pretty much all the comments below me. Especially hidden's. And Nancy's cause it made me laugh.
Oh and also for the effort off putting all those pictures together... You sure do have a lot of something on your hands.
Submitted by retarded_ape123 (user info) at 2004-09-02 08:17:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-09-02 07:15:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Sully the Pirate, what did I say about wearing that pirate hat in school?"
"Sorry, ma'am," I took it off and held it.
____________________________________________
That just cracked me up.
Submitted by panuban-art (user info) at 2004-09-02 06:16:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bravo!
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-09-02 05:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great man...
And he's called Comic Book Guy.
Check out comicbookguy on here...
Submitted by Dino (user info) at 2004-09-02 05:25:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Could be.....
"Best Post Ever"
5/10ths of a deduction for "The comic book Guy" (What the Hell's his name?) &
5/10ths of a deduction for Carl Winslow (WTF!!!!!!)
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-09-02 05:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
i'm scrolling down through the picture thinking, "man, i love the female form. i love all types of women of all shapes and sizes. the female body is so grea-- ok, comicbookguy from the simpsons.... man, i love 'em all. blondes, brunettes, redheads, it doesn't matter. ok, i'm liking this one. nice pubic hair. love those breasts. nice and round. man, the female body is so beautiful. i love-- CARL WINSLOW WHAT THE FUCK??????"
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 04:51:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kellio +2 on your next post because you knew his real name.
But from this point forward and for the remaining sands left in the hourglass of existence, he will be known as "Carl Winslow" and nothing else.
As of this second, the name "Reginald VelJohnson" is as meaningless as Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabidoo.
Submitted by Kellio (user info) at 2004-09-02 04:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That was one hell of a collage, although the pictures of Comic Book Guy and Reginald VelJohnson disturbed me....
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-09-02 04:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my god what a wonderful world we live in. sorry I didnt read this, maybe later
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 04:22:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Carl Winslow is the sexiest man alive.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-09-02 04:19:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All the lovely buttailnakedness...
And Carl Winslow?
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 04:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If anyone's too lazy to read the replies below or too exhausted after scrolling with your left hand, tell me 10 people from above other than CBG and Carl Winslow and you get a gmail invitation.
Submitted by Philst82 (user info) at 2004-09-02 04:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kicker of all ass.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-09-02 03:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoo!
Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2004-09-02 03:48:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i almost peed myself when i saw comic book guy
Submitted by dwr_budr (user info) at 2004-09-02 03:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
-2 because Playboy sucks, but +1 for sneaking in Officer Carl Winslow.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-09-02 03:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For christ's sake, forgot +2...
Oh well, I have unlimited email space at school anyway...
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 03:25:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Donkey that's hilarious and Death read the goddamn rules, bitch. You're out.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-09-02 03:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn, your rules post hadn't shown up when I started writing that review, so I'm giving myself another chance, this time without Adriana Lima.
Banks, Tyra
Barrymore, Drew
Bellucci, Monica
Berry, Halle
Graham, Heather
Jolie, Angelina
Klum, Heidi
Lohan, Lindsay
Patrick, Tara (Carmen Electra)
Sims, Molly
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-09-02 03:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Banks, Tyra
Barrymore, Drew
Berry, Halle
Graham, Heather
Jolie, Angelina
Klum, Heidi
Lima, Adriana
Lohan, Lindsay
Patrick, Tara (Carmen Electra)
Sims, Molly
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-09-02 03:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That sure is a shitload of hoops to jump just to get a gmail account. I've got a good three dozen invites myself.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-09-02 03:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:47:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:44:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Already have gmail, how about you give me a hand job?
------------------------------------------------------------
Nah, but bob wants to, I hear.
-----------------------------
I already threw it in his pooper at Ubercon while Method was tagging his mom.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 03:20:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Here are the permanent rules:
1. You must name 10 people not counting CBG and Carl Winslow pictured above.
2. You only have one guess or two if I think you deserve it.
3. If you rate below +2 you won't get squat.
4. Your name can't be bob.
5. The names must be in alphabetical order by last name.
6. All spelling must be 100% correct or you get nothing.
7. Something else.
8. You also cannot say Adriana Lima.
9. Or Aria Giovanni.
10. Follow the nine rules above.
If you do this, you get a gmail invite.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-09-02 03:12:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn it! And I had all of those pics already, too. Now I have nothing to take from this post except your amusing anecdote (should make for a good chuckle the next time the gf brings me a Hustler home, though). I'm going to bed and the old lady had better be giving me a bj tonight. I'll have to check back to see what I missed.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 03:06:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Both of those plus incorrect alphabetical order.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-09-02 03:02:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What? misspelling or wrong name?
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 03:00:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry dude. That's not 100% correct.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:58:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Drew Barrymore
Halle Berry
Monica Belucci
Carmen Electra
Aria Giovanni
Angelina Jolie
Heidi Klum
Adriana Lima
Amber Richards (also credited as Amber Lynn in several adult films, but not THE Amber Lynn)
Molly Sims
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe you're just annoying and I'm ignoring you.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:50:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
still no answer eh?
i guess im right and you just dont wanna admit it.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:47:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:44:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Already have gmail, how about you give me a hand job?
------------------------------------------------------------
Nah, but bob wants to, I hear.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:45:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
im right until corrected.
if you dont tell, then i am right.
its simple.
2+1=4 is right until society proves otherwise.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:44:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Already have gmail, how about you give me a hand job?
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:42:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Biznatch? Names won't get you anywhere.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how am i wrong then biznatch?
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How would that goose egg change my mind? And you're so wrong by the way.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:34:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
im so correct its not funny.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Incorrect! You're out.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
im bored.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
barrymore, drew
bellucci, monica
berry, halle
electra, carmen
graham, heather
jolie, angelina
lima, adriana
portman, natalie
schiffer, claudia
sims, molly
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...and their last names have to be in alphabetical order.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The first person who tells me ten(10) of the people pictured above, not counting CBG or Carl Winslow, you get a gmail invite.
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2004-09-02 02:04:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really did like the story because I have one of mine own which almost exactly mirrors yours.
I do have to give the full +2 for the effort you put into the tittie and boobie portion.
Submitted by shadowdragon (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:58:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF IM NOT READING ALL THAT ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
I can't read with my left hand, damnit.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
its scary when Halle Berry is not one of the hottest women in an ensamble of woman perfection.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mckenzie (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:44:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the pictures but wtf are the comic book guy and the cop from the erkel show doing in there?
-------------------------------------------------------
The correct term of show is "Family Matters." Don't insult me with your ignorance. Comic Book Guy and Carl Winslow are there because they have nice bazonkas. Duh.
Submitted by PizzaEagle (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:46:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2
Submitted by PizzaEagle (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:45:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i like the part about the pirate hat. i mean no wait i liek teh girlz!!
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:45:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! I just actually read what you wrote. Good stuff.
Submitted by mckenzie (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:44:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the pictures but wtf are the comic book guy and the cop from the erkel show doing in there?
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:43:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oooo shut up i'm going to sleep. by ass.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How did you get into college, Nancy?
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Im not -2ing u becuase of the other thing i'm 2ing u because ur degrading women you slime.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:32:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:28:03 (#)
Ranking: 1
Wait. You wrote something?
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:28:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How should I know.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Wait. You wrote something?
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woody you actually read the thing? That's hilarious.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nancy get over yourself. Besides that you don't have to write 'no comment' just don't write anything and press rank and it'll say it on its own. You suck by the way.
Submitted by woody (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My first memory of the female body? Bachelor Party (the movie, not the event) at six years old.
Submitted by Nancy (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no comment.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:16:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope not.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you. You just made life worth living while at work.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:13:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The one below ComicBookGuy looks like shes a little low on passenger side.
Submitted by butterball (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:13:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:12:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
EEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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Agreed
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:12:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Submitted by butterball (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, awesome article, but this +2 goes for the title.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:12:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by gain (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:10:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is the top right the chick from that 70's show?
Nah that's Adriana Lima. Twice as hot as who you're talking about.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best title and attachment EVER.
EVARRRRR
Submitted by gain (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:10:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is the top right the chick from that 70's show?
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-09-02 01:09:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hooray for gratuitous nudity.