Yes, You Did Hire a Moron (681 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.27 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by riggyrow (View user info) at 2004-09-02 08:56:55 EDT
I can't believe I haven't been fired from my job yet. I mean, I give my boss ample opportunities to question why he ever hired me.
On my way to work today, I happened to catch a look at myself in the rearview mirror and I noticed I had a couple of nose hairs that were a wee bit too long and noticeable. So I did what any self-respecting man would do; I tried to kind of pinch them out with my finger nails which, apparently, aren't long enough to serve as impromptu tweezers.
No luck.
So here I am at work, and I've got a couple of minutes of downtime. I grab the little mirror I have on my desk, that I keep "for when I need to futz with my contacts", and I check out the nose hairs.
They're still there.
And still a little too noticeable.
So, in my infinite wisdom, I grab the big-ass office scissors that I also keep on my desk and I shove them up my nose and get to clipping. Because I'm an idiot like that.
Well, of course, who should walk up behind me just as I'm turning around in my chair with the aforementioned scissors still lodged firmly up my nostril?
"Uh, hi boss."
You see what we men have to go through to make ourselves presentable for you women...
User Reviews
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-05 10:09:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
more , more , more,
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2004-09-09 10:30:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am sure she was thinking you, "you look like a straight shooter with upper mgmt written all over you."
Submitted by riggyrow (user info) at 2004-09-09 10:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
maiorano84: Thanks for the good advice. I didn't want to overdo it, since it seems like there's a wealth of ADD sufferers around here, and I didn't want to fall prey to "WTF I'M NOT READING ALL THAT!".
But I guess I went to far in the other direction. I suppose I'll find the middle ground eventually.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-09-08 19:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You could have gone places with this. It's a funny image, but the writing was crap. +2 for the effort.
Here's a hint: Embellishment will ALWAYS work. Trust me.
Submitted by JonnyBoy (user info) at 2004-09-08 19:33:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad, not great, but not shit.
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-09-08 19:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by riggyrow (user info) at 2004-09-02 14:06:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, if at least one person laughed--or even smiled--then I've done my good deed for the day.
Now I can go back to killing kittens.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-09-02 13:57:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was funny.
Submitted by toddska (user info) at 2004-09-02 11:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
made me laugh
Submitted by Milkman (user info) at 2004-09-02 11:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
so your boss is a woman? that's cool.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2004-09-02 10:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Take my advice, just don't try doing that with an Xacto knife...not that I'VE ever done that
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-02 10:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Did you trim your ass hairs with those same scissors?
Submitted by vodka7tall (user info) at 2004-09-02 10:45:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The visual of you with the scissors stuck up your nose made me laugh so hard I snorted.
Good stuff.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2004-09-02 10:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Worth reading...a solid Zero.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-09-02 08:59:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh.