5000 Miles in Autumn (893 hits)
Category: RomanceLabels: ETS_Short_Stories
Rating: 1.73 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (View user info) at 2004-09-02 15:58:46 EDT
It was approaching autumn and we were both excited. The time had come to take our leave. It was to be a solid week of just you and me and the open road of our great midwest...
We left our jobs and kids and headaches behind in the search for that elusive 'togetherness' that only comes from getting lost in a state you've never before visited. First stop was Chicago. We bunked down at John's house for the night, quietly making love in the blankets on his floor. It all seems like a distant dream now; your body, your touch...these were the temples at which I worshipped.
Continuing on...through the rolling hills of the Wisconsin countryside we journeyed. Every color nature could think of was splayed across the trees. The smell of memories drifted in the wind. I looked at you and you smiled. That was before you stopped smiling back. I wanted to grow old with you in a place like this. You were all I ever wanted. A cop stopped us there and I talked my way out of a ticket, explaining that I'd never been there before.
On through the night I drove across Minnesota while you peacefully slept. I always loved watching you sleep. In those moments I would wrap you in the blanket of my adoration imagining that I might be warming you in your dreams, but it was I who was warmed by you, and you WERE my dreams.
We spent the night in Sioux Falls, holding each other in a motel room somewhere beneath the South Dakota stars.
The next day we drove across the state, not even sure where we were going - just happy to be with each other. We saw strange billboards along the way, and various roadside attractions involving themes of the old west. We stopped at a couple. They were usually run by families as a means of income. I imagined what kind of roadside attraction we might run if I asked you to marry me.
Onward...
Onward now into the sacred Badlands. We had not planned on coming here. We had not planned on going anywhere. We were two souls adrift - at the tender mercy of the wind and road. Winding through this strange and ancient landscape I could almost hear the whispering of Indians. We got out of the car often to admire this consecrated land. I felt like I was trespassing in a world I was not yet worthy to see. I had never felt such a connection to a landscape as I did there; I had never felt such a connection with another person the way I did with you then. We sat on bench beneath a cedar tree and watched the ghostly sun sink into the western sky...
We left that place and time behind us and found a place to sleep...The next day we drove through the Black Hills. We asked strangers to take pictures of us with the landscape, which was somehow less beautiful with you in the picture...
Pulling up to the observation point at Mt. Rushmore I thought to myself how different it looked in pictures. It seemed smaller in a way - kinda like when you stare at a TV screen too long without blinking, it starts to look further and further away from you. That's what it was like. Unreal.
Again darkness fell on our day, but we had decided to keep driving. Sometime, somewhere in the night I came upon a scene in a postcard. The harvest moon was as low as it was enormous. I stopped in admiration to stretch my legs and take a piss. I heard a noise in the darkness that sounded like the rushing of a buffalo, so I ran back to the car scared and screaming...you laughed at me. My screams turned to a laugh too, and we made out like a couple high schoolers there in the mystery of that mapless night.
Through Wyoming and into Colorado we sped. We spent the rest of our trip in the Rockies, staying at a bed and breakfast, but we never ate the breakfast. We drank herbal tea and took the hits of acid I'd brought for the occasion. We sank into the hot tub in the middle of the night. Snow was already on the ground around us. If there are any moments in my life I'd like to have back, to live over again, it would be these.
Back to reality and the flat, wind-swept desolation that is the Kansas, we got a flat tire on the interstate near Kansas City. We were out of cash, so we had my mom Western Union money for a replacement. We made it home at last...5000 miles worth of memories behind us. Our private fairie tale was over.
Years later we would part ways forever, to become but a footnote in the biography of each other's lives. It's been over a year since you left, and I still think about you - more often than you'll probably ever know. Some nights I still toss and turn looking for your body next to mine, but it is not there. I lay my head back on the pillow, close my weary eyes, and fondly think of the 5000 mile trip I took one autumn with the girl that I loved.
User Reviews
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-11 01:59:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by eIectrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-23 07:34:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-18 21:20:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...and then she turned into the bitch I know today.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-03 14:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LaNa: you're exactly right...that whole episode was recounted to let you know that my entire memory of the trip is not all nostalgic reverie. There wes every emotion...I thought I brought it back pretty quickly, though... :)
Thanks for reading, now i will return the favor!
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-10-01 17:37:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There's a lot of great feeling in that story - 'twas a great read. I was immersed in sappie land completely and then... it happened.
"Sometime, somewhere in the night I came upon a scene in a postcard. The harvest moon was as low as it was enormous. I stopped in admiration to stretch my legs and take a piss."
I don't know why - but the word piss has a way of snapping me right out of that warm and fuzzy dreamland I was in. I know that's the more manly and acceptable way of phrasing it - and I probably would've thought it weird if you would've said "tinkled" or some other alternative... but piss still has that snap out of it factor to it.
Now that I've written that I realize that there was really no purpose in pointing that out, but dammit, I don't wanna delete it.
Good story kidd-o,
~LaNa :)
Submitted by equalizer (user info) at 2004-09-14 03:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Equalized.
Submitted by fake_bargled (user info) at 2004-09-07 19:00:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I know that wasn't all of it, but fuck if you're going to read all of it and still post your own opinions.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-09-04 07:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Please can I have a tissue now Sir?
Fucking awesome.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-09-03 13:51:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice. Really nice.
Just so you know, you inspired this:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43747
Not much of a post, but I wanted something Ryden related in my portfolio.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-03 08:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When you're good, you're fucking breathtaking.
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2004-09-03 07:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
damn brad, did you spam the board with tons of threads the first week you were here or something like every newbie does? jeez, all i see in response to half your threads is "spamming douchebag" and shit like that.
i didnt "rate" your writing with a number because it "didnt make me smile".....but it was worth reading, so you get a +0. what the hell is that shit anyway.....if its worth reading, you should get a plus one or something. either way, it kind of played out like a movie for me since i can imagine you two doing everything you wrote. i especially liked the scene in my mind where you two were making love on johns floor. only in this one, i was in the corner jacking.
"I imagined what kind of roadside attraction we might run if I asked you to marry me."
hmmm....watch brad play guitar while you try to get his attention in vain? yeah, thats your best bet. :)
cool writing though......too bad the rating system itself needs some work though.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-02 19:14:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
To those of you who read this and rated it honestly, thanks. You guys are awesome. To Filthy and Jared, I don't know if you guys read my apology in the reviews for the seedings of the upcoming UM, but in case you haven't - I apologise for bitching about the seeding. I know it had to have been hard, and I know I couldn't have done any better.
You guys rock.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I disapprove of positive spamming to restore ratings.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:39:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Vegetables.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:37:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by krushul (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:28:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that was a bit fucked up way to kill the rating and just ruin the general mood of the whole post. way to go.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:24:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fetish, why? What point could you possibly be trying to accomplish now?
Submitted by StabkiII (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Spamming toolbag.
Submitted by StabkiIl (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Spamming toolbag.
Submitted by StabkilI (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Spamming toolbag.
Submitted by FetishII (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:16:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Spamming toolbag.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:15:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Spamming toolbag.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-09-02 18:10:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm stealing this and printing it in my autobiography, "The Life and Kickass Stories of Sideburns That I Wrote and Nobody Else Did".
Submitted by monkeyrape (user info) at 2004-09-02 17:59:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
excellent
Submitted by krushul (user info) at 2004-09-02 17:49:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
delicious.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-09-02 17:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A wonderful and magical read. Excellent work.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-02 17:06:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Lady_Emily_03 (user info) at 2004-09-02 16:52:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Had me teary eyed by the end.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-02 16:46:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-09-02 16:30:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm such a sap.
By the way, I'm stealing some of your lines for letters to my boyfriend. :)
--------------------------------
It's not stealing if I permit it, which I do... I don't care. The person this was written for will never read this anyway...
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-09-02 16:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm such a sap.
By the way, I'm stealing some of your lines for letters to my boyfriend. :)
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-09-02 16:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-02 16:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool.