Driving co-workers fucking nuts (Schmobley, part II) (558 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.67 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by EdselSpeedy_THC (View user info) at 2004-09-03 12:57:01 EDT
Here's a few little tried-and true things I have done to drive a certain co-worker crazy.
1) Come into the office late at night (I have a key, they trust me, HA HA HA) with random chick and have sex on said co-worker's desk. Don't clean up.
2) Remove and hide or discard the wheels from his/her desk chair.
3) Glue all his/her desk drawers shut save for one. Fill the glued ones with fish, put an eyepatch, a condom, and a rusty butterknife in the open one. Leave a hello note from Captain Stinky. (Make sure this is not near your cube or office.)
4) Switch body panels on his company car with another of a different color, so it looks like a reject from the demolition derby. (See previous post "There's no business like Schmobley business.")
5) Wait all day to pee, until you know it's gonna be smelly, then add *just* a few drops to his/her desk chair. That's all it takes.
6) Ask him/her if their spouse is good in bed. When they (inevitably) say yes, you say, "Hm. Wonder how they got that way," and wink as you wak away.
7) Pilfer a box of large paperclips from the supply cabinet. Throw as necessary. When caught bombing, act retarded.
8) If you work in sales, go out on the street and find a bum. Give the bum 10 dollars, and bring the bum into your store. Introduce the bum to your co-worker, and tell him/her the bum would like to buy (whatever.) Make an excuse that you have a phone call, and walk away. Tell your boss that your co-worker is making a drug deal with some bum in the store.
Any other ideas?
Pictures of the company Taurus body panel swapping extravaganza coming soon.
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It was the voice of mad seas, the great roar,
That shattered your child's heart, too human and too soft;
It was a handsome pale knight, a poor madman
Who one April morning sate mute at your knees!
-Rimbaud
User Reviews
Submitted by JohnnyX (user info) at 2004-09-03 20:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, you asked for other ideas...: http://rjlsoftware.com/software/entertainment/
Submitted by EdselSpeedy_THC (user info) at 2004-09-03 16:05:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ooo, that piss injection thing sounds good. I'll have to remember that. Believe it or not, this guy still hasn't quit.
Stella, I'm a very tolerant person. This guy is a special kind of retard, and I have to spend every day with him. I don't normally fuck with people like that. ;)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-09-03 15:33:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fill a syringe with piss. 10 day old piss. Inject it directly into the seat of someone's chair. When they sit down, they will be soaked and somewhat foul-smelling. Works every time.
Submitted by Stellasupernova (user info) at 2004-09-03 13:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Glad I don't work with you ;)
I especially love Captain Stinky
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-09-03 13:34:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is so funny.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-09-03 13:19:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are a mad genius.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-03 13:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed out loud at this.