The true story of Bob Reese (419 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.4 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by tshia (View user info) at 2004-09-03 18:17:25 EDT
Bob Reese was a man who lived in a small house, in a bad part of town. He didn't own many things and he had an old car. Bob was a very wealthy man though, he ran his own restaurant and it was quite a successful business. Bob was a miser, he kept all of his money in a bank account, and he had been saving up for several years.
Bob loved only two things, technology, and shoes, and today was the day he believed would be the best day of his life. Bob had recently ordered a pair of the brand new Super Shoe, the best shoe ever made, it cost him over a million dollars. Bob had also ordered a Robot, a sentient machine designed to be his life long friend and companion.
Bob went down to the mailbox and found 2 packages, one was his robot and the other were his new shoes, he laughed with joy and put them inside his house, he assembled the robot and was about to try on his new pair of shoes when he heard a knock at the door. A waiter from his restaurant told him that the building was on fire. Bob stood up and raced to the door and put on his old shoes, he wanted to savor the experience of wearing the brand new ones, not hurry it.
Bob drove down to his restaurant and found it in ashes, he didn't care though, he had insurance and he had his two most treasured possessions waiting for him. Bob got back in his car and drove home.
As he got out of the car in his own driveway Bob saw his door was broken open. He went inside to investigate and discovered one thing. The robot had stolen his shoes.
User Reviews
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-09-15 02:09:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ooh, i missed this one
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-09-12 00:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh and if you want me to get a gun, I'll be more than willing to silence your nagging ass.
I love how you have to write a response for every sentence that is spoken. This is a true sign of a nagging whore. Nag nag nag, nag nag nag....and more nagging.
Fucking nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag.
nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag ..........................
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-09-11 19:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is the shit you write and you criticize me? MRAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
You are a stupid cunt.
(Oh no! Now all the guys that want to get into your pants are going to attack me.)
Fuck off, whore.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-09-11 10:04:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Asshole, you know why I know driving drunk is hard to do? Because I've never done it! That's right--any time I've ever been drunk, i've either had a DD or it was walking distance to home. As for the driving high, it's quite simple how I was able to manage it: smoke at the beginning of band rehearsal, practice for 2 or 3 hours, drive home.
I notice you're a newcomer to Uber, at least to posting. I don't know--actually I don't care--how long you've been reading, but you should realize there's going to be a lot of offensive shit said on this website, a lot of it hitting close to home. People with down syndrome will get made fun of, either directly ("Don't they just look funny at the special olympics?") or indirectly ("Your post was so dumb it belongs in the opening ceremonies to the special olympics!"). There's other examples but I have to go in a bit.
Am I a reckless druggy? No, never done anything beyond weed and definitely don't smoke for hours and then smoke some more while driving. I was just proving a point that many anti-weed smokers don't get. Do I advocate intoxicated driving? No, I was just proving a point that many anti-weed smokers don't get.
Do I care and am I sorry that your friend(s) got killed by an intoxicated driver? Actually, yes! If you drive intoxicated in any way (even weed), you should pay the appropriate price if something goes wrong. But if I had a gun pointed to my head and was told I either had to take 10 shots of tequila or smoke a bowl or two right before driving, I'd choose the latter. And that, I think, everyone can agree with.
Submitted by Tom <on vacation> at 2004-09-04 04:49:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My writing is considerably better than this.
Submitted by tshia at 2004-09-04 04:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow i obviously should have titled this "This is my first post masquerading as a dumb but beutiful attention seeking whore" Then I would have at least gotten more then one perosn (stoned silly) to read this.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-09-03 19:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This is the darkest day in the history of Springfield. If anybody
wants me I'll be in the shower.
-- Homer Simpson
Lemon of Troy
Submitted by tshia2 (user info) at 2004-09-03 18:58:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what?
Submitted by _bart_Cilfone) at 2004-09-03 18:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is bart, the admin of uber.
I made a poem.
My name is Bart
I have to Fart
I have a heart
My dogs name is Pop-Tart
I ban people for no reason
Even if thier just teasin'
I am Bi
But right now, im with a guy.
When i was 8, i found my soulmate.
His his sex was great.
His name was nate.
But a year ago, i dumped him.
I met a new person in my life, his name was Tim.
He filled my hole much tighter than nate.
But that year, Tim saw his fate.
He got hit by a car.
Thank You. --Bart.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-03 18:24:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FUCKING NIGGERS!
*takes shit on the floor*