These Chicks Don't Even Know the Name of My Band (1770 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.28 on 43 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (View user info) at 2004-09-05 16:04:34 EDT
I first started playing the guitar in fifth grade. With high aspirations, I called upon several neighborhood friends to join me in my first band, "Social Disease." This is a dedication to all of the various bands I have been in since I started playing the guitar.
"Social Disease"
Aptly named, we were primarily a cover band for Bon Jovi. We sucked hard, because the drum set was actually just a couple of five gallon buckets and some plastic garbage pails. We had real drum sticks, at least. An interesting side note - when my sixth grade teacher, Mrs. Strong, saw that I had drawn the band's name on the cover of my notebook, she asked me if I knew what the name of my band really meant. Of course, I knew, but I played dumb. She swatted my arm with a rolled up newspaper, glared down at me, and said "it's a disease transmitted by sex!" Those words echoed in my head for years. She took me aside and apologized for hitting me later in the day.
"Exploding Penises"
So it's not just a clever name? In seventh grade, I started this heavy metal band with Mike Gordon on bass and Omar Moskowitz on drums. We sucked hard because we argued constantly, and I hated our name because it was so gay.
"Purgatory"
This band was the brainchild of my friend Erik, who was, and still is, one of the best drummers I've ever heard. Purgatory was a metal band (this was still before the hey-day of grunge) and we covered Iron Maiden and Metallica (our two favorite bands). I stole away Mike from "Exploding Penises" and soon after Omar was kicked out of school and put into a mental hospital after pulling a knife on someone and going schitzo. Seriously. "Purgatory" ruled pretty hard, but Smells Like Teen Spirit exploded in the midst of everything and Mike and Erik hated in and I loved it.
"Freeza Burn"
Spelling intentional. This was a Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice and Chains and Stone Temple Pilots cover band. We made a video and my friend Morgan, our bassist, introduced himself as the "basser" of Freeza Burn.
"Whiskey Biscuit"
Ninth grade. To this day, Whiskey Biscuit has a special place in my heart. Our eclectic mix of personalities made it so. Brendan, the rhythm guitarist, liked a certain blend of hard classic rock, like Led Zepplin and Black Sabbath. The drummer, Dave, loved punk music. It was his life. Green Day, NoFX, Rancid, The Ramones, The Clash, he loved it. The bassist, Justin P., was into a lighter type of classic rock, like Van Morrison and the Doors. I loved everything and tried my best to tie it all together, from "Smoke on the Water" to "Basketcase" and "Stairway to Heaven" to "Master of Puppets", we did it all. Our varied playlist had us win both the annual Battle of the Bands and the school talent show.
"Cheese"
A Primus cover band. This group rocked pretty hard in Todd's basement. Todd was the drummer from Freeza Burn, but he sucked compared to Kevin, our new drummer. The bassist Mike, was obviously the centerpiece of the band, being that he was emulating Les Claypool. I played guitar and sang some of the songs. We never played a show, we just rocked the basement and recorded tons of shit on my Tascam four track recorder. I still have the tapes. We had some talent.
"The International Yogurt Convention"
This was a side project, a small band put together just for the tenth grade talent show. It was a Dave Matthews cover band. I don't even really like DMB, but I was asked by some of the most talented musicians in the entire high school to take part in the project, so I couldn't resist. The sax player was actually named Dave Matthews. We had a kickass fiddle player (he went onto Brown U to major in music), a riculous drummer (who is now a studio musician in NYC), a great bassist (who went to Berkley College of Music and graduated a year early), and an amazing vocalist. We rocked the talent show like it was our jobs. We dissolved soon after.
"Without"
This band was originally a Straight-Edge Hardcore band, and the name was "A Life Without Addiction". Unfortunately for some of the members, I drank, making the name inappropriate. So we shortened it. I played the drums in this band, believe it or not. Everything we played was originals. We were hard and heavy and our parents hated us for it.
"Bounty Hunter"
Bounty Hunter was a retro eighties metal band. We covered Iron Maiden, Rush, Megadeath, Anthrax, and we had some originals. I also played the drums in this band, but I wrote a bunch of the guitar solos for our lead player. When we played the talent show, our three song limit upset the event coordinators since the songs were so long. They tried pulling the curtains on us towards the end of our last song, our one original, titled "Bounty Hunter". Andrew, our lead singer, jumped on the curtains while belting out the falsetto high notes. A small riot insinuated. Good thing we were seniors, because we were asked not to play a talent show ever again. The repairs to the high school auditorium exceeded $5000.
"G & M"
My last band, started by myself and Nick, a guitarist I met in college. We recorded three CD's, moved to Colorado after graduation, and got laid constantly being bar musicians. I never should have left.
Ten bands, twelve years. Not a bad run for a little bastard like me.
Here's a Camwhore of me and my buddy Jay from Neptunes. I'm all over www.morganmorrison.com.
User Reviews
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2004-12-06 15:33:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a good post, but I definitely wanted to throw out a
ATTN GHEY MENZ
for that picture.
Would have been perfect if you were pouting.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-09-09 13:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Boogie-
We covered "Peace Sells, But Who's Buying" and "Symphony of Destruction". Basically their 2 most well known songs. We also did "Take No Prisoners".
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-09-09 10:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-09-09 09:08:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
_Q_,
Why do you think the best match-up is me and SpecialK in Ubermadness?
Were you serious or am I dense?
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Because I think that match has two of the best "unknown" writers on the site paired against each other. Yes, that means yourself and specialK. :)
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-07 16:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AvrilLaPete (user info) at 2004-09-07 09:29:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
And now... my link whoring for teh daye...
http://geocities.com/jeanyusrec/
Have a REAL band? Need a label? Click above.
---------------------------------------------
Try getting a real fucking website . . .LOSER!
"People that live in glass houses . . ." awwwww fuck it!
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-09-07 16:25:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha. My fifth grade band was called Screwed Pigeon. Of course it wasn't much of a band because I only knew like 3 chords and no one else could really play and instrument.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-09-07 16:19:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"That's how Chuck Berry learned to rock - he heard Marty McFly cover shit he hadn't even written yet!"
Hahaha so true.
Hey Giga what Megadeth songs did you cover mostly?
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-09-07 16:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
By the way, the best comment on here was Holoman, calling the above photo a "Right Said Fred" picture. That made me crack a smile.
I guess Jay is too sexy for his shirt...
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-09-07 16:03:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
About the whole "cover band" thing...
What do you expect from a junior high school kid? My last three bands, two in high school and the last in college, all did originals. "Without" was 100% original, "Bounty Hunter" was 50% originals, and "G&M" was 100% originals. That emcompasses the last 8 years of my life. The first 5 or 6 years I played (fifth through tenth grade) I played in cover bands. What else is a young kid supposed to do? If you're playing for junior high and high school parties, no one wants to hear your own shit. They want to hear "Welcome to the Jungle", "Wanted Dead or Alive" and "Enter Sandman".
Don't get me wrong, I'll be the first to agree that writing original material is lightyears beyond learning someone else's songs and playing them. But, the fact of the matter is, when you're a kid, coverbands are usually the best place to start. That's how Chuck Berry learned to rock - he heard Marty McFly cover shit he hadn't even written yet!
Submitted by AvrilLaPete (user info) at 2004-09-07 09:29:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-07 09:10:07 (#)
Ranking: -1
Playing in "cover bands" doesn't count as even playing IN a band.
Write your own stuff...it ain't that hard.
"All you do is pick a chord...twang it...and you got music" - Sid Vicious, circa 1977
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Exactly. You can do a cover or two in your set, as long at 90% of you songs are YOUR song.
And now... my link whoring for teh daye...
http://geocities.com/jeanyusrec/
Have a REAL band? Need a label? Click above.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-07 09:19:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuck it...the more I think about it, this should get a +.
Hell, I played in a band for 4 years and made money, got the best dope, and got laid more times than the rest of this room combined.
So I should have some compassion for a fellow musician.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-07 09:10:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Playing in "cover bands" doesn't count as even playing IN a band.
Write your own stuff...it ain't that hard.
"All you do is pick a chord...twang it...and you got music" - Sid Vicious, circa 1977
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-09-07 08:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Title made me laugh.
I played the drums for 10 years, and was once a member of the cheesiest, 80's rock cover band on the planet. We called ourselves Black Lightning (how gay is that?), and played everything from Crue to Maiden to Ozzy. We sucked so bad. But what a blast. The fact that I could keep a steady 2/4 beat and throw in a simple fill every so often, actually got me laid on more than a few occassions. Good times.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-06 23:56:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"I don't care who you're covering, but playing other people's songs and calling yourself a band is fucking ridiculous."
Try telling that to the London Symphony you ignorant jackass. Musicians play music, it doesn't have to be their own and 99% of the time it shouldn't be.
"I'm so cool, I'm in a band and we're totally different from everything out there...our singer wears a dress sometimes and I have green hair..."
Enjoy your life of poverty, it's reserved for the lazy and witless.
Submitted by ofMontreal (user info) at 2004-09-06 23:31:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my favorite is "bounty hunter" haha
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-09-06 11:55:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love how Biz is mad that I covered music when I was in bands in Elementary School and Junior High. Do you realize you are pissed off at a 10-16 year old musician for playing cover songs?
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-09-06 10:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
For all that dog shit cover work you did.
I don't care who you're covering, but playing other people's songs and calling yourself a band is fucking ridiculous.
Other than that, I commend you for your longevity and persistence in the world of music.
P.s.: As a name for a band, what do you think of "Sex in a Can"?
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-09-06 10:22:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome man.
Mike Gordon the bassist for Phish?
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-09-06 03:24:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not too many hardcore bands are in the market for someone that plays classical piano, so I'm just a headbangin' groupie-type.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-09-06 03:14:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think it's funny that dude's -2 this for the pic and girls +2 to it for the pic.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-09-06 03:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about cigar
User id: 5786
Registered on or around: 2004-02-04 22:34:24
# Messages posted: 20
# Reviews written: 528
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 222
# Hits: 4367
Average rating of all messages: -0.27
Who sucks?
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-09-05 22:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I want to be in a band. I can't play anything useful and my singing scares small children.
Hmmmm......
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2004-09-05 21:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Would have gotten a +2 but the pic killed it. Did you choose that one simply because it made your friend look retarded?
Submitted by Me at 2004-09-05 21:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Check this out....this one is too funny....
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44017
Submitted by Amy (user info) at 2004-09-05 21:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the pic only
Submitted by hummer_please (user info) at 2004-09-05 20:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ever cover 'Shake hands with beef'?
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-09-05 20:19:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 because this was an interesting description of your past bands
+1 for mentioning Megadeth while I was listening to it. Sweating Bullets, baby!
Feeling paranoid
True enemy or false friend?
Anxiety's attacking me
and my air is getting thin.
Feeling claustrophobic
like the walls are closing in,
blood stains on my hands
and I don't know where I've been
Sweating BULLEEEEEEEEEEEETS
Giga you rock my socks.
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-09-05 19:22:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The below comment came out much harsher that was intended
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-09-05 19:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ha, we should go drinking sometime...
Then I should slap you for being an Italian with that damn chain around your neck...
I bet you're from Long Island?
<3
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-05 19:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was in a band called Gypsy Rose (Cinderella was big then). My favorite band name was Whiskey Syndrome, and least favorite was Visual Echo. I played bass in all of them.
Just curious, is the camwhoring shot in front of a port-a-potty? And what's up with the wiggers in the background???
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-09-05 19:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well done.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-09-05 19:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
for sucking.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-09-05 19:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wouldn't get a 2 if it were a newbie.
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2004-09-05 18:52:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey... i was going to post something almost exactly like this, but it looks like you beat me to it.
No, fuck it, i'm still going to post mine.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-09-05 18:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Cool, and there's only one "A" in Megadeth.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-09-05 18:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks munkey, I'd enjoy that.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-05 17:50:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i want to lick your bum
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-09-05 16:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about Holoman
User id: 11732
Registered on or around: 2004-08-30 12:50:27
# Messages posted: 7
# Reviews written: 60
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 127
# Hits: 1305
Average rating of all messages: -0.78
Thanks Holoman! I'm sure you're an awesome guitarist! Did I even say whether or not I sucked? So how the fuck do you know?
Submitted by Holoman (user info) at 2004-09-05 16:40:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
+1 for the fact that you may be a lead guitarist.
-1 for the fact that you probably suck.
-1 for the fact that you do suck just from that Right Said Fred picture.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-09-05 16:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey hit me up on aim if you got it fucker, i wanna ask you a question
ubermethod
Submitted by kingjc (user info) at 2004-09-05 16:26:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for chasing your dream!
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-05 16:18:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 Good post.
+1 I'm going to link to naked women.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44084 http://www.ubersite.com/m/44026
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-09-05 16:12:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I was in a band called Hate Plow. And the Generix. We sucked.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-09-05 16:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44098 <-------------------- naked women!