NSFW Bingo Wings and Oral Sex. (3521 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.75 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Martyn Steiner (View user info) at 2004-09-05 17:30:17 EDT
My aim in this piece was to convey a sense of the catch-22 situation of working-class British society. My initial reaction to the work on completion was of mild befuddlement mixed with extatic passion. Throught the use of intentional typographic errors I hope to better perceive the cruelty inflicted on those with special educational needs.
Nah, only joking.
SHORT STORIES ABOUT LOVE, LOSS AND TRIBULATION.
This one time a fat and ugly woman with bingo wings was walking home from a night out at Mecca bingo in Chester. It had been a successful day for the woman she had had won roughly £2.87 and all the ladies in the bingo hall had commented on her exceptionally pretty dress with purple tassles. Now, this woman did have a name, but since she was illiterate and had very little in the way of post-16 education we won't bore ourselves with the details of it.
The end.
On her way home from Mecca bingo in Chester a fat ugly old bird was sexually abused. This act involved her being given 20p to telephone her husband Dennis and order a side salad with her cheese burger. Once she had made the phone call the sexual pervert cut off her bingo wings. Bingo!
The end.
Once upon a time in a land just south of Liverpool a fat ugly old lady had a dream. A dream of loosing her bingo wings. Her dream came true.
The end.
By and large, the Bingo industry in Chester is flourishing. Cash prizes to be won range from £2.86 to a barbeque chicken wing. However, sometimes a chicken wing is not enough to comfort a woman with bingo wings. Rumour has it that one woman at her bingo wings after they had been removed by a dirty bugger. The bingo wings tasted a bit like bingo wings. A bingo wing is a fat bit of arm that hangs down when the arm is raised in the declaration of 'Bingo!'. Mostly only fat people have them but sometimes fat people do also.
The end.
Blah blah, fat, bingo wings, bingo, detergent.
Prologue.
I bid you goodnight.
Oral sex.
User Reviews
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-06 08:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I avoided this for a while because of the title, but it was actually fuck-off good.
Submitted by toddska (user info) at 2004-09-06 07:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I give this +1 for its surreal Viz-like qualities.
That and it made me feel slightly chicken-fat nauseous.
Submitted by Martyn_Steiner (user info) at 2004-09-06 07:13:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"A bingo wing is a fat bit of arm that hangs down when the arm is raised in the declaration of 'Bingo!'. Mostly only fat people have them but sometimes fat people do also." Dont minus two me if you haven't even read the whole thing. Cock head.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-06 01:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF?!
I have no response to this.
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2004-09-06 00:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can I buy some pot from you?
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-05 18:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what the fuck are bingo wings, and why do you suck?