Asking For It. (629 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.75 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Deadly (View user info) at 2004-09-05 19:13:03 EDT
Cutting through the thick fog of smoke and holding her breath as to not inhale the smell of cheap cologne and perfume that's pungent at the entrance of the club Ellie had to sidestep every other stride she took to avoid head on collisions with inebriated punters.
Ellie made her way to the bar.
Sitting down she slipped her purse off her shoulder and placed it on the stool next to her. Scoping the surrounding area she rummaged through her purse till she had the pack of Marlboro in her hand, taking a cigarette from the pack she closed her eyes, sniffed the tightly rolled tobacco and then placed it on the bar in front of her.
"Evening gorgeous, what can I do you for...the usual?"
"Yes mike, but you'd better make it a double and hold the ice"
"Sure thing and as always the first one's on the house, maybe even a second if you play your cards right"
With his trademark wink he pushed the tumbler towards her and offered up a light.
"No thanks. It's been eight days since I've lit one up, I think my will power can hold out a little longer"
"Ahhh so we can expect some fun tonight then can we darlin'?"
"It's inevitable that someone's going to get it, mike, whether I'm off the cigs or not"
"Well enjoy your drink, you've still got ten minutes before your shift starts"
Enjoyed the drink she did as she knocked back the single malt.
It was a night like many others, serving drinks, collecting glasses, making small talk with the dregs of society, flirting with the cash flashers, receiving tips with a "thank you" and a pearly white smile.
Tonight she only had one of the 200 punters removed by security.
Although the 30something year old man hadn't said anything untoward
His presence had bothered her immensely, the way that every time she glanced over at him his stare was fixed on her, the way he smiled at her was eerie. Her instincts told her that this guy was trouble and as prevention is better than cure she had security take him out back.
As the two burly men escorted the gent off the premises he managed to look back and smile at ellie, this time revealing his tobacco stained broken teeth. She thought he mouthed the words "I'll be seeing you later"
Closing the doors as the last of the punters left ellie had the same feeling she had when glancing over at the mystery man, she suddenly felt on edge.
"Damn I need a smoke"
"What's that you say ell?"
"Nothing mike, I'm just talking to myself"
"Are you ok... I can walk you home if you like?"
"Jesus mike, why break the habit of a lifetime, I'll be perfectly fine"
Having said that she still felt a little apprehensive about the journey home. To help put her mind at ease and comfort her somewhat she took her beretta tomcat semi from her purse and placed it carefully down the front of her pants.
Still contemplating her journey home she took her apartment keys from her purse and put the remainder it in her locker.
As Mike locked the doors behind her the night chill hit her hard.
Walking through the poorly lit side streets she couldn't think of much more than getting back to her warm bed. Suddenly, hearing what sounded like a tin can hitting the floor, she stopped dead in her tracks and looked over her shoulder, nothing was there except for two parked cars on the right and a mass of bin bags on the left, it must be stray cats or maybe even a fox.
Picking up pace she approached an alleyway that would knock five to ten minutes off the time of her reaching home than if she took the scenic route.
"Fuck it"
After walking into the darkness she thought she heard something, however it was too late for her to turn back and she was afraid of what she might be faced with if she did. Continuing at a steady pace she reached down the front of her pants and grasped the cold steel.
The sound of her palpitations was all she could hear until she felt a warm hand press against her cold mouth rendering her speechless.
"Bitch, I told you I'd be seeing you, do as I say and you'll live to work another day"
"I want you to slowly lower your pants and turn around"
At that point Ellie became aroused, not a natural reaction to the situation she found herself in but still, someone was going to get it and this was the time and the place.
Slowly turning to face her attacker she raised her arm with the beretta pointed at point blank range to his face. With a gasp his heavy breathing stopped.
"Whose the bitch now motherfucker!"
The empowerment she felt excited her even more.
He slowly moved his eyes down to capture full view of her naked genitalia, with terror his eyes widened. He stuttered before he managed to set his words free.
"f..f...fuck me"
"Oh I'm going to darlin', but first you're going to suck my prick"
Buttoning up her pants she looked back on the dishevelled heap. He was whimpering and laying in his own vomit.
"I'll be seeing you soon"
User Reviews
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-09-21 23:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was told well, but you need to proofread.
Submitted by Deadly (user info) at 2004-09-06 04:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She sure did.
Submitted by beibeiskids <beibeiskids.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-09-06 03:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
dumb question, and I have nothing against drags(well yeah I do), but...did she have a penis!??
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-09-05 22:07:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have mixed feelings.
+0 - Worth reading.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-09-05 21:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was alright, but could have been improved by a lot with some more proof reading.
Submitted by Deadly (user info) at 2004-09-05 19:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks.
I'll bare that in mind for next time.
All constructive criticism appreciated.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-09-05 19:22:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Watch the run-on sentences though. It's better to use two sentences than it is to say too much within one.