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Totally Useless Fiction (5926 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 0.93 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)

Submitted by http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/ (View user info) at 2004-09-07 17:03:32 EDT

* The letters in an alphabet used solely by Inuit tribes, when placed in order, spell "B,R,E,A,S,T.

* Famous person, Cher, is made entirely from galvanised rubber.

* If you stacked all of the peanuts in the world onto a Hawaiian island, the world would suffer a catastrophic gravitational inaccuracy and hurtle directly into Mars.

* "Wales" is a country situated just five thousand miles from the United Kingdom.

* Ex-Comedian, Bob Hope completed a Paint-By-Numbers of the infamous Internet image, Goat.cx immediately before his demise.

* Clicking spam emails can get you a jackpot prize, a free college diploma and a penis bigger than my Ego.

* Wearing a fake Burberry baseball cap in England makes you more intelligent.

* Placing the signature "www.tuesday.tk" on everything I do enhances the general opinion of me. Everywhere.

* Henry Rollins is hard.

* Reading posts about Gmail accounts is more interesting than taking a shit into one's very own hand.

* Martial arts enthusiasts make interesting companions.

* Making websites about your pet cat and setting up a webcam is cool.

* Masturbation damages eyesight.

* This is my first post.

* Everyone on the site recognised the subtle eyesight jape a few inches up.

* Girls: When sending files over an instant messenger, it is totally cute the way you save as .BMP and have a really adorable filesize that takes the best part of a day to overcome.

* French people shave.

* It's really hard to amuse Americans by putting the word "ass" before another object, in the form of an insult.

* "Assleaf" is in the Oxford English Dictionary.

* Doing five and a half Es and going to church on a Sunday morning off-my-tits with a mate wasn't weird.

* Driving a car slowly through a town and listening to RnB makes you appear sophisticated and well endowed.

* Nobody has noticed I've ran out of ideas and lost interest with this JP parody.

fiction.jpg (13 kB)

User Reviews

Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-11 09:00:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

A nice idea, could have used a little more thought. Still pretty funny.

Submitted by Technoboy (user info) at 2005-06-11 08:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

"Doing five and a half Es and going to church on a Sunday morning off-my-tits with a mate wasn't weird"

Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-01-14 14:54:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Henry Rollins is not hard, but he makes ME hard

Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-10-13 19:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Burberry is a fashion for proletarians. People (often from council estates) that steal, fight and make babies all the time tend to wear it. There's probably similar cultural misfits in your own countries.

Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-10-12 19:24:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

What's a Burberry?

Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-10-09 14:30:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Analfucking.co.uk?

Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-19 19:49:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

yaaaay it's opposite day!

Submitted by teusdaydeIay (user info) at 2004-09-18 20:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

What you need is a personality transplant.

Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-13 07:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-09-13 07:06:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Asstarantula?

Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-09-11 10:58:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You ass...

...damn I can't think of anything funny to put behind ass...

Assclip? Asscheese? Asspen? No...not funny...hm...oh well...

Submitted by drudy (user info) at 2004-09-10 22:27:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

No Comment

Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-09-10 22:16:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Belrafon (user info) at 2004-09-10 20:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

made me smile..

Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-09-10 17:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

v

Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-09 04:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

you are a link whore god.

Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-09-09 03:45:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Stevie Nix books about kleptomania.

Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-09-08 21:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

hit whoring fag

Submitted by NoahsArk (user info) at 2004-09-08 18:23:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

This was fun

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-09-08 18:04:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Assbanana!

Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-09-08 09:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

"Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-09-08 08:56:02 (#)
Ranking: -2

don't likewhore on my posts, give me a -1, and expect anything.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-09-08 08:50:12 (#)
Ranking: -2

don't linkwhore on my posts, give me a -2, and expect anything."

Without me linkwhoring, you wouldn't have come here and put this back on the most recently reviewed.

Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-08 09:00:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

* Doing five and a half Es and going to church on a Sunday morning off-my-tits with a mate wasn't weird. """"

Try doing 6 E's and then going the zoo.

That shit is weird.

Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-09-08 08:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

don't likewhore on my posts, give me a -1, and expect anything.

Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-09-08 08:50:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

don't linkwhore on my posts, give me a -2, and expect anything.

Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-09-08 08:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

* Wearing a fake Burberry baseball cap in England makes you more intelligent

I feel your pain. Murder those fuckers.

Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2004-09-08 04:06:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Totally unfunny I thought.

Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-08 03:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

badass

Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-09-07 23:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

You asslego.

Submitted by shadowdragon (user info) at 2004-09-07 22:59:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-07 18:08:45 (#)
Ranking: -2

People actually +2 this shit? F00king tossers!

haha what a dickwad.

(just wanted to say dickwad)

Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-09-07 21:44:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/44216

Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-09-07 21:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-09-07 17:39:44 (#)
Ranking: 2

i still remember assbook

And fucklawn.

Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-09-07 20:25:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-09-07 19:30:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I have nothing to say to this.

Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-09-07 18:39:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Who fancies some poetry?

Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-07 18:32:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

No Comment

Submitted by MacDaddySurge (user info) at 2004-09-07 18:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

No Comment

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-07 18:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

People actually +2 this shit? F00king tossers!

Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2004-09-07 17:57:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Didn't suck.

Submitted by Pacifist248 (user info) at 2004-09-07 17:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Oh yeah, I forgot...

ZING!!1

Submitted by Pacifist248 (user info) at 2004-09-07 17:46:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

It's just like listening to a politician!

Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-07 17:40:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

"Masturbation damages eyesight."

Actually that's true. With the perfect angle and strong enough trajectory, you could shoot your own glue into your retina. It could indeed damage eyesight.

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-09-07 17:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

i still remember assbook

Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2004-09-07 17:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

WTF?!?! Henry Rollins IS A PUSSY!

Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-09-07 17:25:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Well...I suppose. But I'm just waiting for some tosser to come along and go "WTF?!?! Henry Rollins IS A PUSSY!" or something.

Submitted by ruin_dc (user info) at 2004-09-07 17:22:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

i did read the title, my +2 and my 'joke' about welsh people still living in caves should have made you aware that my response was but humourosity...

Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-09-07 17:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I know Wales is par......Oh good god!

Please read the title, people. It does reflect on the post. Really.

(This reply is not fiction).

Submitted by ruin_dc (user info) at 2004-09-07 17:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

all lies, wales is part of the united kingdom, despite the fact that welsh people still live in caves...

Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-09-07 17:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

* Girls: When sending files over an instant messenger, it is totally cute the way you save as .BMP and have a really adorable filesize that takes the best part of a day to overcome.

Hahahaha, +2 for that alone.

Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-09-07 17:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

It's true. These are as much use as tits on a fish.