Everyday People. (4171 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesLabels: uberbook
Rating: 1.9 on 71 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bigmike (View user info) at 2004-09-07 22:04:21 EDT
"Sometimes I'm right and I can be wrong
My own beliefs are in my song
The butcher, the banker, the drummer and then
Makes no difference what group I'm in."
The meeting was at nine and Jack was running late. He returned home from work after he had planned because of an important client, so he had just enough time to wolf down some dinner and head out the door. Now he was in his car, speeding down the street, hoping that he could make the meeting in time. As he was increasing his speed, he happened to come up on the bumper of a driver going just a little less than the speed limit. He had to slow down because there was a double yellow line and the road was getting just a little curvy. The car ahead of him seemed to be slowing down. Jack was right on his tail just waiting for the opportunity to pass. The road finally straightened out and Jack saw the dotted yellow lines on the road begin. He jerked the car into the passing lane and stepped on the gas. As he was passing the car that was in front of him, he looked over and saw an older black man behind the wheel. Jack immediately threw up his middle finger and yelled "Get off the road you old fucking nigger!"
"I am everyday people, yeah, yeah.
There is a blue one
who can't accept the green one
For living with a fat one
trying to be a skinny one"
Mary was a housewife with 2 young kids. She was a pillar of the community, being involved with the PTA and helping out as a substitute for the school system. Mary loved to volunteer her time helping the older women at the nursing home. She would sit there and hold their hands for hours while she read them stories from their favorite books. Mary was sitting in her car in the driveway, with her two kids in the backseat. She was on her cellular phone with a bill collector and he was telling her that she owed quite a substantial back payment to a loan company. As is likely today, the loan company had contracted a company from overseas to make the required calls because it was cheaper. The young man who was calling her was of Indian descent and he was trying very hard to reason with Mary. The company had called a number of times and Mary had just not sent the payment. As Mary raised her voice on the cellular phone, her kids started to take notice that she was getting upset. "I WANT YOU GODDAMN FUCKING DOT HEADS TO STOP CALLING ME ABOUT THIS!" she screamed into the phone right before she slammed it down on her car seat. The kids looked at each other very confused and scared. They had never heard mommy talk like this before.
Mary hauled ass out of her driveway, smiling.
"And different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo-bee
Oh sha sha - we got to live together"
It was a hot Friday night at the Ramsdell High School football game. Ramsdell was putting a beating on cross-town rival Stinson, and the kids were in a state of agitated excitement. The middle linebacker for Stinson High, Juan Hernandez had just sacked the Ramsdell High All-State quarterback Josh Callahan. It was a crushing sack that included a forearm to the area between Josh's helmet and his neck. Josh was lying in the middle of the field motionless. The trainers were out there and they had brought out an ambulance. As Josh was being loaded onto the gurney, a group of skinhead male football fans that attended Ramsdell had run out onto the field screaming "KILL THE SPIC, KILL THE SPIC, KILL THE SPIC!" Not only did the benches empty that night, but the stands emptied as well. Before the night was over there were 2 dead and 42 wounded. Juan Hernandez was one of the dead, a young black male was the other.
"I am no better and neither are you
we are the same whatever we do
you love me you hate me you know me and then
you can't figure out the bag I'm in.
I am everyday people, yeah, yeah"
Jack was laughing as he flipped off the old black man. He just loved it when he got the best of those filthy porch monkey bastards. He looked back towards the road to steer his car back in the proper lane and that's when he saw the car directly in front of his pull out of the driveway. The older black gentleman was watching the scene develop and had tried to slow down to allow Jack to pass. Jack didn't make it in time. He never made it to his meeting either.
"There is a long hair
that doesn't like the short hair
For bein' such a rich one
that will not help the poor one"
Mary was pissed. She hated when those rag head motherfuckers kept calling her and hounding her for money. They called every single day and it was really beginning to make her think that we should bomb India right off the map. Just as she was thinking "I'm glad they're so fucking poor over there" and pulling out of her driveway, she saw the speeding car careening towards her in the wrong lane. She screamed. The kids in the back were terrified. They didn't have a chance.
"And different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo-bee
Oh sha sha-we got to live together"
Charlie didn't like what just happened. A man in a speeding car had ridden his ass for about four miles and was now passing him at a high rate of speed. Charlie looked over to see what kind of madman was passing him and he saw a white man flipping him the bird. He also heard him say "Get off the road you old fucking nigger!" Charlie was an old timer and had heard it all before. He grew up in an atmosphere of hate and racism. He was used to the ethnic slurs and the racial epithets. Charlie ignored the man and when he looked further down the road he saw that a car was pulling out of a driveway just in front of the man. This car was also traveling at a high rate of speed. Charlie saw the car that was passing him disintegrate as it slammed into the side of the car coming out of the driveway. He also saw the look on the young woman's face as she looked up and saw certain death. Charlie stopped. He waited for the explosion that had just happened in front of him to run its course. As he started moving his car again very slowly, he had to steer around the debris in the street to continue on his way. As he passed the wreckage, he looked to see if the man was still alive. He saw the man lying in the road, body twisted and mangled and covered with blood. Charlie stopped and considered the man momentarily. As he drove away, he casually thrust up his old, wrinkled middle finger as he looked into the rear view mirror.
"Fuck you, nigger" he said through a gap toothed smile. "Fuck you"
"There is a yellow one
that won't accept the black one
That won't accept the red one
that won't accept the white one
And different strokes for different folks."
Charlie got home that night to find out that his grandson had died of a stab wound in the aftermath of a brawl at that evenings football game between Ramsdell and Stinson High Schools.
"I am everyday people yeah, yeah."
User Reviews
Submitted by bugblender (user info) at 2008-12-13 08:00:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2006-06-19 16:39:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant. That was great Mike, it's a very good story.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-06-18 13:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i am doing a re adjustment of best ever posts.
rad style.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-06-17 01:49:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-09 06:26:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-08 03:53:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
You forgot about the part where the gang of Hispanics beats the lone white kid within inches of his death for his pocket change. You also forgot the part where the crack-addict black rapes an innocent white woman as she's walking through the parking lot to her car.
Fuck you, you anti-white piece of shit. Everyday life is almost the complete opposite of this bullshit post. Go take a stroll through the nearest black neighborhood and you'll see who the real racists are... """""
Big balls RJ, log in and ruin the streak, i dares you.
And there was this also.
Nicely done. :)
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-06-17 01:47:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-09 06:25:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Usually I think your stuff is over complemented (too folksy for my taste - not a criticism old bean you understand?) but this is up there with my all time favourite posts.
I have read this three times now before commenting.
Reconsidered, did you?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-06-15 19:26:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-06-05 10:48:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A little clumsy at times - but good never the less
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2006-05-26 18:15:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting that the movie "Crash" opened in theaters in May 2005, but this post was submitted in 2004. Even though the stories are completely different, the premise of tying in a series of seemingly unrelated events with a thread of racism is identical.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-05-26 17:48:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea how it came to be that I've never read this before.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-05-26 12:17:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is my favorite also. This and "Fifteen floors up, baby I love you".
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-05-26 05:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This will always be my favorite.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-05-26 04:46:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-05-26 04:31:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The best thing I have read on Uber to date.
Perfect.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-05-19 23:13:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very impressive. I was wondering how the football game was going to mingle into the story.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2006-05-19 13:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-29 13:15:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love Sly and the Family Stone, and I love this post.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-02-07 14:20:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-07 14:09:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was excellent!
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-02-07 13:46:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2005-01-31 17:04:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
One of the very best I have ever read on here
Every time I read this, I realize that it is one of my favorites also.
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2005-01-31 17:04:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One of the very best I have ever read on here
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-01-31 16:49:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-01-10 11:01:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2005-01-08 20:34:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
I know I've already rated this, but after reading this classic post again I've decided it deserves another +2. One of my all-time favorites.
espo
Thank you espo.
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2005-01-08 20:34:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know I've already rated this, but after reading this classic post again I've decided it deserves another +2. One of my all-time favorites.
espo
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-12-01 10:51:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-12-01 01:22:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Classic.
Thank you, poly.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-12-01 01:22:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Classic.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 12:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it when I come across something
that I've missed. Especially when it is this
good. Well done.
Submitted by sneak at 2004-09-09 22:46:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of course someone had to fuck up a perfect 2
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-09-09 12:31:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really wish Uber was formatted more towards longer stories cuz Id love to see what you could do with character development, but I liked this
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2004-09-09 10:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well written.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-09 09:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.
Geez Falco, it took you long enough to get to this. Where's the customary -2?
Someone should put you out of your misery.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-09 09:07:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Christ Bigmike werent you going to retire?
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2004-09-09 06:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The bees knees.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-09 06:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-08 03:53:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
You forgot about the part where the gang of Hispanics beats the lone white kid within inches of his death for his pocket change. You also forgot the part where the crack-addict black rapes an innocent white woman as she's walking through the parking lot to her car.
Fuck you, you anti-white piece of shit. Everyday life is almost the complete opposite of this bullshit post. Go take a stroll through the nearest black neighborhood and you'll see who the real racists are... """""
Big balls RJ, log in and ruin the streak, i dares you.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-09 06:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Usually I think your stuff is over complemented (too folksy for my taste - not a criticism old bean you understand?) but this is up there with my all time favourite posts.
I have read this three times now before commenting.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-09 06:10:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by blujnbbyqn (user info) at 2004-09-09 01:22:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Aaaaaahh goddamn, what to say? Screw it, I haven't said it lately - Mike,
------------You give great visual.---------------
On a more personal note, would you mind if I shared this with a few people? There are some in my life that I think would benefit from your story. Lemme know, okay?
Damn, I may never get this image outa my mind.
Michelle
I don't mind if you share it Michelle.
Nice to see you back around. It's been awhile.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-09-09 02:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-09-09 02:05:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
may you run out of this gold before week three of uber madness.
Submitted by mike at 2004-09-09 01:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very very well done.
Submitted by blujnbbyqn (user info) at 2004-09-09 01:22:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aaaaaahh goddamn, what to say? Screw it, I haven't said it lately - Mike,
------------You give great visual.---------------
On a more personal note, would you mind if I shared this with a few people? There are some in my life that I think would benefit from your story. Lemme know, okay?
Damn, I may never get this image outa my mind.
Michelle
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2004-09-08 17:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*Sigh*
This is the only reason I come back here, friend...
Great story.
--HeimdallsMan
Submitted by WarMaid (user info) at 2004-09-08 13:47:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-09-08 13:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Extremely well put together.
Streaka streaka!
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2004-09-08 11:21:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-08 11:09:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Screw the streak, this is good stuff!
I really like the way Bigmike works songs into his posts.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-09-08 11:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ave eet
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-09-08 10:59:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post deserves the streak.
+2's galore.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-09-08 10:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
on principle.
keep the streak alive!!!!!
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-09-08 09:02:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-08 08:44:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-09-08 01:20:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
can you play the guitar?
Yes, I can. I'm not very good though and I've never learned to do covers. I taught myself to play and I just fool around writing songs and stuff.
It's funny how some songs make me feel. I was thinking about all the racist crap that I read here on Uber. I realize that some of it is sensationalism and some of it is real. This song popped into my head yesterday and I had the idea for this post. Originally I was going to write it about certain users on this site, but then I realized that I don't actually know the users that come here. Not really. When I sat down and started to write, it all just came out like how you see it.
I don't think this is a commentary on racism like some may believe. I think it's just a work of fiction that is a reflection of how I felt about the song at the time.
It's just a story about people.
Part of what makes writing so enjoyable for me is that, I can sit down and just start writing. I know I have a fun story to write when I can't type the words as fast as I think them. I couldn't type this story fast enough.
Submitted by KingHFB (user info) at 2004-09-08 07:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thats right
equality is equality, bitch
dont over-compensate to the degree where you discriminate in another favour
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-09-08 07:30:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The best thing I've read on this site in quite some time.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-08 03:53:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You forgot about the part where the gang of Hispanics beats the lone white kid within inches of his death for his pocket change. You also forgot the part where the crack-addict black rapes an innocent white woman as she's walking through the parking lot to her car.
Fuck you, you anti-white piece of shit. Everyday life is almost the complete opposite of this bullshit post. Go take a stroll through the nearest black neighborhood and you'll see who the real racists are...
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-09-08 01:20:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
can you play the guitar?
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-08 01:18:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2004-09-08 00:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Quality post, as usual.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-09-08 00:05:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-09-07 23:51:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Flawless.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-07 23:35:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"good song Mike. is that sly and the family stone or savoy brown?"
This song is always Sly for me Mick. Whenever I hear it in my head, it's Sly. My uncle turned me on to Sly and the family Stone when I was much, much younger. I've loved them ever since. I used "Stand" in one of my DoaM posts.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-09-07 23:30:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kickass.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-09-07 23:29:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Get off the road you old fucking nigger!"
Enter a comment here (optional):
i think the politically correct statement is: Please get off of the road you senior citizen fucking African American!
good song Mike. is that sly and the family stone or savoy brown?
Submitted by Embryophagic <nclarkii.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-09-07 23:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's funny when people die.
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-09-07 23:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-09-07 23:13:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've said it before and I'll say it again...
Daddy?
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-07 23:07:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-09-07 22:59:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior,
Please oh please don't let me go up against BigMike in UberMadness!
Your obedient servant,
The Jack
I'm still laughing as I type Jack.
Pretty funny.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-09-07 22:59:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior,
Please oh please don't let me go up against BigMike in UberMadness!
Your obedient servant,
The Jack
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-09-07 22:46:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
theres been some very good post today, this is one of them
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-09-07 22:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's some good reading.... which is becoming more and more rare around here.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-09-07 22:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmm, that's good squishie.
Submitted by Nomad (user info) at 2004-09-07 22:26:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-09-07 22:19:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44216
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-09-07 22:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Consequences.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-09-07 22:18:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
See you Friday. :o)
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-09-07 22:16:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This reminds me so much of Razor's "Too Late."
Submitted by humor_me (user info) at 2004-09-07 22:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay for Sly and the Family Stone. I liked this. Good work. I'm so glad I had some decent entertainment. The amount of crappy posts I have read tonight is appauling. Glad you stuck this in the lot of them.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-07 22:12:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 Better than the last post I read.
+1 I'm going to linkwhore once more tonight: http://www.ubersite.com/m/44264