Smells like a dead baby, dude... (625 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.33 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Shit Flinging Ape (View user info) at 2004-09-08 14:52:49 EDT
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44348
Dead Infant Found in Packing Crate
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
SWINESBURG, NJ (AP)-- A dead infant was found packed inside a shipping crate among two dozen look-alike dolls early Wednesday morning.
Workers at Emery-Willis Distributions International made the appalling discovery after investigating a foul odor.
"We was working the night shift," said Enrico Ruiz. "Me and Jimmy. And we was eating lunch and smelled something rude. We thought it was rotting garbage or something."
James Grossen was with Ruiz when the infant was discovered. "So were walking back and forth like a couple of bloodhounds when Rico says, 'Jesus, I think it's coming from this crate, man.' So we figured a rat or a cat, poor goddamn thing. We cracked the crate and moved some of the dolls aside and there it was. I puked."
Night shift Shipping & Receiving Manager Rudy Piltser denied any responsibility on the part of Emery-Willis.
"We run a tight ship here," Piltser said. "We don't pack or unpack the crates. We receive big lots, break them up, and load them on trucks to smaller outlets, Toy R US and places like that. We are not responsible for this mess."
New Jersey State Police are investing the incident, and the FBI have now announced their involvement, as the truck which brought the crate to the warehouse crossed State lines.
The cause of death appears to have been asphyxiation, pending the coroner's report.
The infant is described as male, Caucasian, and well-nourished, with blue eyes and blonde hair. The unidentified infant was about eight months old, circumcised, and had a small circular birthmark over his left eye. Authorities have established an eight hundred number and are asking the public for...
User Reviews
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-09-08 15:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Allow me to reiterate...
FUCKOLA..
Submitted by Despiadado (user info) at 2004-09-08 15:07:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-08 15:06:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, the irony. Have another, since we're both losers.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2004-09-08 15:04:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Bloody brilliant.
Submitted by Holoman (user info) at 2004-09-08 15:04:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
holy shit! Fuckola!?
Submitted by Shit_Flinging_Ape (user info) at 2004-09-08 15:02:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-08 14:55:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for posting, it gives me a chance to retaliate effectively.
Glad I could be a ray of sunshine in your sad little life.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-09-08 14:57:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuckola
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-08 14:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for posting, it gives me a chance to retaliate effectively.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-08 14:55:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
yeah...so? Doesn't this happen, like, once a week?