I Am The King Of Dutch Ovens (1093 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.92 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sublime <this.is.ross.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-09-09 00:14:04 EDT
Nothing says lovin' like basking in my own dutch oven.
They can be loud like thunder. They can be stealthy like the ninja.
I can let them blow in one big mighty roar or I can make my leather cheerio
sing the alphabet.
Some nights I just lay in my bed at night entertaining myself with my singing
butthole. I let free the raging monster inside of me then I contain it
under the sheets until I am ready. Ahhhh better than roses.
I need a woman. I don't even want the romance or sex. I just wanna share
the gift that the lord bestowed upon me. Caring is sharing, right?
I just wanna let one rip in tribute to the scrumptious bean burritos I wolfed down.
I wanna pull the blankets over her head and let her know who is the master
of this domain. I will hold the blankets over her head until she can't take it
anymore. She will scream for mercy as I laugh.
She don't need no stinkin' jewelery. She don't need the roses and candlelit
dinners. She don't need to bother buying potpourri and Glade. What I've
got to give her is free of charge.
Any uberwomenz out there wanna behold the awesomeness that is me?
User Reviews
Submitted by ferrisbeuller (user info) at 2004-09-11 13:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2004-09-09 10:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ugh... I can smell you from here!
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-09-09 10:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm in montreal from Nov 11 - 14. We can have a group fart and then go to sleep, that way no one will get hurt
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-09 10:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this.is.shit.at.gunit.com
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2004-09-09 10:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by strangeparadox (user info) at 2004-09-09 10:19:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha *cough cough* hahhahahahahaha
thats a +4 because i laughed so much, but a -2 because i laughed so hard i soiled myself and now my room reeks of urine.
yes i am that immature.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-09-09 08:54:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
farts lumpy?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-09 08:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-09 06:52:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by dwr_budr (user info) at 2004-09-09 03:25:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mmm...incapacitating.
-- Homer Simpson
The Springfield Connection
I got the same random quote...
That shit isn't fair at all.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-09-09 03:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmm...incapacitating.
-- Homer Simpson
The Springfield Connection
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-09-09 03:02:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is too sexy for words. Seriously. I'm masturbating right now.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-09-09 03:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Moinkey?
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-09-09 00:37:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love when your hair smells like ass.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-09 00:37:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-09 00:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know it is, i've been under the sheets with you. It was hot.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-09-09 00:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post is 100% true. I have to buy new underwear every week.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-09 00:33:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ANSWER ME SEXYMAN
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-09 00:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you can't deny me my insatiable pleasure.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-09 00:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I do, i want it all covered in chocolate and whipped cream
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-09-09 00:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah munkey. you know you want some of this!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-09-09 00:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm putting my money on the notion that you might have been high when you wrote this.
I like the cut of your jib, sir.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-09 00:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you make me hot.