All relationships end in tragedy (708 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.75 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Phredde (View user info) at 2004-09-09 23:22:24 EDT
Supreme cynic that I am, somehow I never believed that all relationships end in tragedy. Somewhere in my romantic soul, I believe that it is possible to transcend the mundane obstacles and achieve the ultimate relationship with another. In short, I believe in soul mates.
Not that I've necessarily found mine. I mean, maybe I have but I didn't notice. Maybe he's the guy behind me in the deli line, or the one on the subway, or whatever, but that's another story.
Meanwhile, I'm left pondering the beginning, middle and end of a seventeen year relationship with Mr. Wrong For Phredde, and I, Phredde, ended up as Mrs. Wrong. While I know in my heart why this was not meant to be, and in my mind exactly when I knew that, I have for the most part kept that to myself.
The profound lack of gossip column info has led to many of my so-called close associates to proffer advice on how to improve my chances next time round.
Baby Brother pondered if the magic left the marital bedroom.
I retorted that sex is easy, relationships are hard.
I told my Mom that, at 37 with preschool child, I was too old to date.
Mother replied: If only you would lose twenty pounds, slim down, you would get dates
When prompted by Dad as to why, after ten years of misery, I walked out on my husband suddenly, I replied that I was lonelier when my spousal unit was home than when I was by myself.
After rolling his eyes, Dad implored: You need professional [read: psychiatric] help
Finally, younger sister, the ordained minister, finally told me that the problem with my marriage was that my spousal unit didn't make time to spend with me.
This was the last straw. The Bullshit. Make Time For Each Other. Spend Quality Time. Pop Psychology gone amok.
We should not have to "make time for each other" in an adult relationship. Having to make time for each other implies that you have other interests that trump those in common with your significant other. Big issue.
Shouldn't week be involved with those who have similar interests? Is it too much too ask for the pleasure of anothers company in the endeavors that we both enjoy, and the freedom to explore those that we find interesting, with or without the other? If there are not enough of the former or too many of the latter, we are doomed.
Isn't there some happy medium between Friends with Benefits and Soul Smothering Ownership?
Which brings me back to all relationships end in tragedy. I honestly never believed that. I thought happily of my grandparents, married for 43 years, and Uncle Arthur and Aunt Gen, who made it 47 years. And finally, Uncle Al and Aunt Grace, who actually hit 63 (yes SIXTY THREE) years together, after meeting in their very early twenties.
Uncle Al and Aunt Grace's blissful marriage, which produced three very well adjusted children, seven grandchildren, more then fourteen great grandchildren, and at least one great great grandchild, ended late last December when Al finally succumbed to the effects of two strokes plus cancer at age 87.
As I drove three hours through back roads to the wake, the romantic inside me mused on how lucky Al and Grace had been: more than six decades together with a wonderful family. Happy memories, home full of laughter and happy moments... something I may never know...
I was wrong. I was so very very very wrong.
Uncle Al, at 87 years old and straight out of the nursing home, was open casket. This side of the family was congregationalist, not Catholic. Why was the casket open??!??
Aunt Grace was on the other side of the room, rather than stoically by the deceased, as is customary. Funny, I though, she was speaking of Al in the present tense.
As I was paying my final respects to Uncle Al before leaving, Aunt Grace made her way over to us. She was relating the story to some other cousins about the day she met Al. He asked her out, she turned him down, he met her again a few months later when she was working the gift wrap table at a department store...
There was some confusion about the details of the pivotal meeting. Grace suddenly turned to Al (the corpse) and asked him what the gift was. The corpse failed to answer. Grace posed the question in a slightly different manner.
We the mourners became mortified. Al remained mortified. Grace asked a third time, looked a bit confused at the lack of response, for she fully expected an answer. Receiving none, she slowly made her way back to the chair across the room.
I fled, made my way back to my favorite local waterhole about three hours later, and it still took me three full on shots of tequila to stop shaking.
All relationships end in tragedy.
User Reviews
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-09-10 07:54:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well written.
Submitted by Bangaz (user info) at 2004-09-10 00:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written and I love the
"We should not have to "make time for each other" in an adult relationship. Having to make time for each other implies that you have other interests that trump those in common with your significant other. Big issue. "
That's creepaly true...
Submitted by finfan3 (user info) at 2004-09-09 23:36:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow... that's pretty harsh. I feel bad for your aunt. :(
Not to mention I feel bad for you. 17 years of a lonely marriage. That really sucks. I really hope you find your somebody one of these days! :D
I already found mine... well, I'm only 19... young and stupid, right? Ha, bullshit. But yeah, I love my girlfriend so much. Hoping that it wont end in tragedy. Eh, like I said, good luck! ^_^
Submitted by butterball (user info) at 2004-09-09 23:30:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
-2 for making me sad
+3 for writing a very good story