Episode Two: What is ACTUALLY a Rape? (19177 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.47 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <sparky19852.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-09-10 08:02:35 EDT
WARNING: The following is the report of a clinical sociopath. Before you read this account, please read Episode One at www.ubersite.com/m/44546 for specific details on this horrible disease.
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As the Feminist Movement drags on like a Carrot Top routine that just won't end, it's becoming less and less clear to the public what an actual "raping" is. Now, if I was living only fifteen years ago or so, I'd say, "I've only committed one" (maybe two). But now, after all the sexual harrassment stuff that's been shoved down my throat over the years, I don't know if some other experiances I had with girls might actually be considered "rapes" under today's terminology:
1) THE GIRL AT THE PARTY
I once went to school on coke (well, I went more than once, but one time that I went and was coked-up) I was being a dipshit in the hallways, pounding any losers that were crossing in front of the music section. I just kept tackling kid after kid. There were a few fat chicks I tackled, so I just breathed hard in their faces until they cried and I let them go.
Anyway, so I hear footsteps and tackle this one girl and I land on top of her on the ground. Then, I looked in her eyes.
She was a pretty Hispanic girl named Katrina. Her face was smooth and attractive, her lips supple, and her hair was black-and-gold. She had normal breasts and a big ass (like a fat ass, when it starts to cross the line into not being good to fuck). Overall, I was quite taken by her.
"Get the fuck off me," she said, struggling to get up.
"Katrina," I said in a sensual voice, pinning her arms down, "You think that while we're down here..."
She then kicked me in the nads, got up and went to class while I was lying on the floor in pain.
Oddly enough, that very night I found myself at the party of another girl on the edge of town. The party was actually half-decent and I was on 'shrooms and drunk, so I was having a good time. Anyway, during the middle of the party, when I was trying to get into the hostess' panties, the basement door swings open and there comes Katrina and some ugly girl. Katrina is stumbling around and looks totally smashed.
"Whazzup?" Katrina asked like the Budweiser commercial.
"Nothing much," the hostess said. "Sam's just trying to get laid."
Katrina walked out of her friend's arms over to me, trying to look hot, but really just looking funny.
"You wanna get laid, Sam?" she asked.
"Yeah," I said.
She wrapped her arms around me, "Well, let's do it."
While people were already having sex in the upstairs bedroom and bathroom, I was able to find a walk-in storage closet.
"I'm so fucked," she kept saying.
"Well, you're gonna be," I kept replying.
"Maybe I don't want to do this," she said as I took her shirt off.
"No, you do," I told her.
Anyway, I fucked her in the closet for about a half-hour (twice in the pussy, once in the ass, if I remember correctly). She didn't say anything. She was really drunk, so she kind of groaned a little in the beginning, but only cried when I fucked her in the ass.
I heard a rumor that she got pregnant from it and had to get an abortion. But, the question stands, was this really a RAPE per se?
2) THE HOUSE-KEEPERS DAUGHTER
My aunt and uncle in California have this Russian house-keeper. She understands very little English. Anyway, one day when I was visiting (I was about 14 at the time), the house-keeper had brought her 10-year-old daughter with her. She was a plain girl, not really attractive or unattractive. I imagine all Russian girls are like that.
Anyway, my aunt sugguested that we play together. Me, being the sociopath that I am, I took her under the porch and began to undress her.
"Niet," she said, slapping my hand.
"Your mom says you have to," I said, continuing to undress her.
"Niet," she said, slapping my hand again.
I sucker-punched her as hard as I could. Suprisingly, she didn't cry just then.
"You're mother says you have to!" I said.
I got her naked and then had sex with her. It wasn't very good and she kept screaming for her mother the whole time. The last time I visited my aunt and uncle, the house-keeper had been gone. I assume that she quit when her daughter told her what happened.
I say that this isn't a rape because, if you come to America and don't speak English, you're looking to get assaulted.
3) THE WRESTLING MATCHES
About this same time of my childhood (around 13-15) these kids at my school put on a wrestling show called WWW (Wild, Wild Wrestling). Because we were the popular guys of the school that did it, all the hot bitches wanted to do matches too. So, we used to wrestle on this trampoline with a mat on it.
This one time, I was hanging out with my bud after a "match" and this girl named Kristen came over. She wanted to see what was up. Anyway, I began goofin' around with her and poking her in the stomach, boobs, ass, and pussy. She laughed the whol time and poked me in my respective places (chest rather than boobs, penis rather than pussy). We then started to wrestle around in the ring. My sexually frustrated guy friend left the two of us alone.
So, we wrestled around and she was laughing the whole time. After about three minutes, my dick was hard, so, I got behind her and whipped it out. She must've thought I was still poking her in the ass, but I was really dry-humping her.
I pulled her pants down.
"Hey," she said.
"AND HE GOES FOR THE DOGGY-STYLE SUBMISSION," I said, planting my dick in her pussy from behind.
I fucked her and she screamed incoherently the whole time.
"GIVE UP!" I kept saying.
"I GIVE UP!" she hollered. "I GIVE UP!"
Once I cummed, I rose to my feet, announcing, "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR WINNER AND STILL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, SAM ____!"
Again, not a rape, 'cause she totally got me in the mood.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sanatarium (user info) at 2005-02-10 21:56:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great stuff, I love it
Submitted by Wuzi (user info) at 2005-01-23 18:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is fucking funny, I am reading them all damn you for taking up my time
Submitted by BludKake (user info) at 2005-01-21 15:59:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by erbgor (user info) at 2005-01-12 18:58:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yes, pretty funny.
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2005-01-09 14:55:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey DJ, "gullible" is written on your ceiling.
Submitted by DJ_Mittens (user info) at 2005-01-09 10:06:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That's just wrong. The first one was funny, because she wanted it, and you were both wasted.
The second is rape and molestation, and you could do jail time.
The third is also rape and molestation, and you could do jail time.
I hope you do some jail time, and have to toss Bubba's salad for the rest of your days.
Submitted by dudaculb (user info) at 2005-01-06 15:36:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I honestly only got an acount here to rate the college guy. Awesome sam, just awesome
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-12-27 09:17:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry I didn't see this series earlier.
I am hooked.
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2004-12-19 23:48:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed. You should die for doing that, but it was funny.
Submitted by Kazzerax (user info) at 2004-12-11 13:37:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Russian girl wasn't rape, just molestation. Eh?
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2004-11-07 13:47:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Bob <plastiscpork5.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-10-14 10:21:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're my hero
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-10-10 14:35:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/47782
Woo! More rape!
Submitted by ProbablyACircle <ProbablyACircle.at.Passthebowl.co> at 2004-09-14 03:49:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You seem nice. Heh.
[Krista]
Submitted by Gee at 2004-09-12 16:39:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL, Fucking Awesome!
Submitted by trojanwarhero (user info) at 2004-09-11 01:19:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I sorta smiled I guess
Submitted by JenBee (user info) at 2004-09-10 18:11:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
it was offensive, but i liked it... Have I just been raped?
Submitted by Despiadado (user info) at 2004-09-10 12:08:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Suicide.
It's the only option.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-10 11:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because this isn't true.
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2004-09-10 09:15:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How could I verywell be the result of my own raping of my mother? This isn't "Back to the Future." I can't simply go back in time and do my mom. (I would if I could though...I bet she was damn fine when she was my age.)
Submitted by Toolazytosigninagain at 2004-09-10 09:10:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, you were the result.
Submitted by Don_Megga (user info) at 2004-09-10 08:36:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you are just pretending to be nutty, then your post was pretty funny. I got a good chuckle. However, if you really are a little off your rocker, and what you said is all true, than that is some messed up shit. I mean, it's funny to write about it. Hell, I have a livejournal where I post about beating old people and making children's ears bleed, but I would never do that(not yet, anyways).
Either way, messed up or funny, you post was worth reading.
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2004-09-10 08:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, Toolazytosignin, by ME, dip-shit!
Submitted by BlinkSparky (user info) at 2004-09-10 08:31:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that was the funniest thing i've read on this site for at least 2 weeks!!!!
fucken pissa keep it up!
Submitted by Toolazytosignin <you'renotworthitanyway> at 2004-09-10 08:30:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Episode Two: What is ACTUALLY a Rape?
It's what happened to your mom.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-09-10 08:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're a regular clockwork orange.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-09-10 08:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Your mom says I have to"
Oh my God, you're fucked-up.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/38783 <-- You're the skinny bald guy yelling "Nooo!"
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-09-10 08:18:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Niet.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2004-09-10 08:15:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are so full of shit.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2004-09-10 08:13:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you should probably consider suicide at this point.