Some Men Just Can't Stop Loving. (4082 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.96 on 126 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Badlands (View user info) at 2004-09-10 13:13:35 EDT
Nick Falco loved the game of golf. No, he lived for the game of golf.
He liked the way the air smelled at 6:00 a.m. on a hot July morning. The scent of freshly cut grass underneath his feet. The taste of evergreen pine floating on the breeze. The sight of prehistoric Blue Herons gliding effortlessly against the backdrop of a picture perfect blue sky. And the feel of a cool, titanium shaft in the crease of his palms. Like an old, understanding friend comforting him...it always made him burn to come back. Beckoning to him. Over and over again.
It all stemmed from his father—a simple golf pro, and owner of the local driving range in West Bedford—placing that cut-down seven iron in his hands at the age of three. Telling him to keep his head down and aim for the stick protruding out of the beaten-down grass not 75 yards in front of him.
Within three months he was bouncing golf balls of that stick regularly. And by age five, he was hitting another stick 130 yards out, and wowing the weekend hacks and retirees with an astonishing 4-handicap.
Folks in West Bedford had never seen anything like Nick Falco. He was a wunderkind. A prodigy of sorts. The closest thing to a local celebrity the sleepy little upstate farm town had ever seen. Even as a child, big-time money golfers would sometimes travel 200 miles—all the way from Pinewood—just to play a round against the kid they said could beat practically anyone. And most of the time, he did.
Deke Falco had actually tried to cool his son's desire at one point early on. He was worried that the boy's passion for the game might be a little unhealthy. After all, five-year old boy are supposed to be out catching frogs and pulling little girls' pigtails...not beating balls on the range with pure dedication and unwavering focus for hours on end.
But nothing could quench Nicky's passion for the game. And after awhile, Deke simply accepted the fact that his son was destined to become something more. Something amazing. Something truly special.
He raised Nicky practically on his own. His wife, the lovely Regina Falco, had decided not long after giving birth to her son, that he was something of a burden. A constant reminder of her faded youth.
And though she stayed with them, living in a town like West Bedford as the wife of a simple driving range pro, just didn't suit her. An honest living, a loving family and a quiet, happy life made her feel trapped. Made her resentful. Deke knew it.
But some men just can't stop loving. Even though they should.
So, instead of spending time with his momma, each and every morning, Nick Falco headed out with his father to work the range. It was his home. And he loved being there, spending hours on end watching intently as men in funny looking pants beat balls off the dirt.
He studied their different stances. Some wide with lots of movement, some narrow and uncomfortably stiff. He was entranced by the different swing planes that a club could take. High, arcing backswings versus low, shallow liners. Each one producing different results. And even at his young age, he was ever amused by the way grown men would shout at their balls as if they would listen and obey the commands being barked at them.
"Get left!"
"Go ball, go!"
"Release you sonofabitch!"
"Get in your kitchen. Move motherfucker, move!"
"Ahh...fuck me!"
The guys at the ranged loved Nicky as if he were one of their own. He was a beautiful, friendly, brave little boy. He always had a smile on his face, and was always quick with a retort to rival their corny jokes and innocent teasing.
But he was a humble little boy, and he was sincere. Traits he learned from his father. And for the folks in West Bedford, there wasn't a smarter, more upright, straight-shooting, charitable father and son on the surface of the earth than Deke and Nick Falco.
Until that Saturday.
That Saturday began like many others for Deke Falco. After pouring Nicky a big bowl of Froot Loops, he entered his bedroom with a tray of piping hot potato pancakes and fresh sausage. As he kissed his wife's forehead good morning, she grumbled and turned away from him, pulling the covers tightly over her shoulder.
She was out last night, he thought. With her girlfriends. A little tired and cranky, that's all.
"Sweetie." He shook her gently.
"Fuuuuck, Deeeeeke. Can't you see I'm really fucking tired here?"
"Sorry, honey. I know. It's just that...Nicky and I...we're leaving for the range. And you really didn't see him yesterday, and I thought you might like to say 'goodmornin' to him, or..." his voice trailed off. She was fast asleep.
Deke patted her on the head, set the food tray down beside her and left a few hundred-dollar bills on the nightstand. She might want to do a little shopping or go to the salon later on. After all, she was a beautiful vibrant young woman. She deserved a Saturday afternoon to pamper herself a little, right. She'd surely feel better after that.
Besides, Deke thought, little boys can be exhausting. Nicky was the smartest, most talented and inquisitive boy around. He sure could ask some questions! He always wanted to learn more, to understand more, to experience more.
And Deke knew that sometimes his never-ending inquires could wear thin on Regina. She was a woman who just needed for things to be about herself sometimes. Deke could live with that. And being a great mother came a little harder to her. She tried sometimes. Deke knew. Besides, he was there for the boy. That was enough...he hoped.
Nicky spent that sultry August afternoon driving around with his daddy in the cage-lined ball-retrieving cart, waving to all the fellas hitting off the mats, and ducking into his seat every time a ball zoomed their way, though the knew full well they were safe from any injury. He was a happy boy. And Deke was a happy man.
So happy, in fact, that he decided to close the range early that afternoon. He and the boy had worked hard all day, and the truth of the matter was, Deke missed his bride. Things had been a little tense lately, and she'd barely spoken to he or the boy in days. It hurt him, but that's just the way she was. Like ice sometimes. In any event, he thought it would be good for all three of them to spend some quality time together. Some men just can't stop loving.
Deke and Nicky returned home early that evening with some pizza and a copy of 'Old Yeller' from the video store with every intention grabbing mommy, throwing her on that worn-out old sofa, and snuggling close for the better part of the night. A family. Together. Simple. Perfect.
Only, that Saturday was different.
They had purchased the little two bedroom ranch on the outskirts of town with some of the money that Deke's father, a lifelong foreman at the local sawmill, had left to him when he passed on. Regina had hated it. It was cramped, and a little run-down, but it was all they could afford at the time and her complaints had quelled somewhat at Deke's insistence that he would take on a night shift at the mill and get them a nicer place in a few years.
As he unlocked the door, Deke was seized with panic almost instantly. Something was wrong. It didn't feel like his home anymore. There was a stench in the air. He knew it immediately. There are some things in this world that you simply cannot mistake. Hot apple pie warming on a windowsill...freshly cut flowers neatly arranged in a vase on your kitchen table...And sex. The unmistakable, undeniable, stench of sex. Deke knew it. And his heart sank.
As Deke sat frozen in the doorway, straining to hear the soft guttural moans of ecstasy coming from the back bedroom, he noticed his son. His beautiful son. Standing next to him, his precious golf clubs draped over his shoulder.
Deke snapped to attention. The boy. He couldn't let the boy know. But it was too late. Nicky stood there, unable to move. Staring up at his father with a low, sullen look that said it all.
Tears welled in Deke's big, brown eyes. And his hands, the hands that were always so steady when holding his perfect son in his arms, began to shake. He felt as if someone had just swung a sledgehammer, hard and fast, into his breadbasket. He wanted to break down. To collapse onto the cold, dark tile floor and cry his weary eyes out.
But he didn't. As if guided by a predestined force, Deke slowly turned to the boy. He lifted the golf bag off his son's shoulder and placed it on the floor beside them. He stooped down, brushed his chestnut hair back from his eyes, and spoke.
"Nicky. You daddy loves you. You know that."
"Yessir." The boy squeaked.
"Now I'm only going to say this once to you, and I know you'll understand 'cause you're not like other boys your age. I want you to hear what I'm about to say and know that I'd never tell you anything that I didn't know in my heart to be true and honest. Do you believe that?"
"Yessir." Looking down at the floor now, quietly kicking his feet.
Just then a loud, passionate cry broke from the bedroom. Filled with desire. And Deke boiled with rage. His son...trembling by his side.
He slowly wiped away the tears forming at the corners of the boy's eyes. He grasped Nicky's bowed head in his hands and brought it up until they were at eye level.
Your momma...she's done wrong."
Deke took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.
"This doesn't have anything to do with you, boy. I promise you that. Your momma, she loves you like no other. It's just that, well...some women...they just can't find happiness where it's easily found. Some women, they just...want."
Nicky's eyes raised to meet his father. Sad and forlorn. Deke had never felt such pain.
"But why daddy? Why can't she be happy with us?"
Deke noticed the boy fighting back the tears, trying so hard to remain a strong little man. And it ate him up inside. For the first time in his entire life, he felt the emotion of hate. And he was disgusted at himself for the feeling. How could she do this to beautiful gift she had brought into this world? How could she so coldly break this little boy's heart into a million pieces?
But Deke knew the answer to that question. Regina Lynn Compton had never really loved him. The truth was, she had never loved anyone but herself. He had always known it, had always known that he'd never be able to do anything in this life that would ever truly make her happy. But he couldn't help but love her all the same.
Some men just can't stop loving.
Deke looked at the boy one last time, pulled him tight and hugged him hard. Their beating hearts pressed together as one. Another moan from the bedroom...
"Go play outside now, Nicky. Daddy's got to talk to mommy."
"But...but..." the boy's bottom lip quivering uncontrollably.
"Now, boy. Now."
As Nicky slowly turned and headed out the door, Deke Falco lifted the golf bags from the floor. Once his son turned the corner, he pulled the heavy, steel-shafted 3-iron from the bag and studied it intently. He tested its heft. Then gripped it in his large weathered palms until the blood ran from his hands.
A man's voice from the bedroom. Coming, Deke thought. There's a man coming in my bed. With my wife. While our son plays outside.
His resolve steeled, Deke moved slowly to the bedroom, the Titleist 3-iron now an extension of his powerful arms. Slowly, he turned the knob. He entered the room.
------
Nick Falco sat silently on the rusted old swing as the State Police Officers went through his home. Blood everywhere, he heard one say. Her brains painted the walls, another remarked. His face, they said, was unrecognizable. What kind of monster, they asked?
Then the lady showed up. The one that wouldn't let him see his father. The one that told him everything would be all right. The one that said he was safe now. The one that took him away in the car.
Nick Falco never played golf again. He just stopped loving it.
User Reviews
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 20:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Comment.
Submitted by awj002 (user info) at 2007-05-25 18:42:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ftw
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2007-05-25 07:33:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I cant believe I didnt +2 this in the past, one of the greatest stories ever posted on Ubersite. COME BACK BADLANDS, COME BACK!
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2007-02-02 13:38:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I...I don't know what to say...
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2006-12-01 18:09:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-01 17:58:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
please, a 3-iron won't cut it, you need an 8-iron to get the right amount of loft into that bitch's face
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-12-21 15:05:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
speechless
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-11-27 00:24:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I...vote 5.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-11-26 23:33:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2005-10-12 17:38:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is really good. Bravo.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-10-12 17:26:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious.
This was a story, brudah, and a wompin good one, to boot.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-08-11 12:59:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know I read this back in the day, and I'm really surprised I never rated it. Fantastic.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-08-11 12:35:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus. Glad this post made it into the best of the best... Wow.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-08-11 12:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Outstanding
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-03 11:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Glad I finally read this.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-03-07 09:33:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Post more.
Please?
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2004-12-23 02:59:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheRocketeer (user info) at 2004-11-14 20:53:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, that was sad. Loved it, but boy was it sad.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-10-22 21:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bored at mother fucking work.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-10-22 19:28:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy, HOLY shit. Awesome story.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-10-22 18:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you deserve an idol
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-10-22 16:22:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have my children? Please?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-10-22 12:57:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet jebus in heaben this was good!
Submitted by RateBot (user info) at 2004-10-22 12:48:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-10-22 11:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Im a dick I thought this was a true story about Nick Faldo
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-12 14:02:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-10-01 15:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shake him off, Badlands. This is still the kick-ass of the kick-ass, and you should know that.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-10-01 14:59:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about nelohalo
User id: 12645
Registered on or around: 2004-10-01 14:35:20
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 0
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0.00
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What the fuck do you know about "good writing" Nelohalo?? Tell you what, tough guy...what don't you get in the ring, post something of substance and show us all what a hot-shit writer you are. I'm sure everyone here will be very impressed with your scary talent.
Fucking tool.
Submitted by nelohalo (user info) at 2004-10-01 14:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Wow, this is actually not very good writing, it tries to be way too dramatic and drags on until then bitter end. Make it short and sweet, not long and drawn out.
I really like that a woman finally got what was coming to her though
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-10-01 14:19:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AvrilLaPete (user info) at 2004-09-18 15:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why isn't this in ubermadness? this would be a surefire winner or something. Kick ass writing
Submitted by nakedguitarist (user info) at 2004-09-18 15:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck me ragged. That is a sheer piece of masterclass.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-09-18 14:57:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I demand that you begin posting 3 times a day and quit your job. I DEMAND IT!
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2004-09-16 15:35:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
amasing
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-16 15:16:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-14 19:01:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If this is what comes of hurt...I am going to start paying women to break your heart, Badlands! How I've missed this, or any of your posts till now, can only be attributed to the same laziness that's kept me in town where I live all these years. Your writing is truly art!
*stands and applauds*
Now, for the critique: I know the epilogue serves a purpose, especially the last line, because we see a boy who was destined to grow up just like his father become something else altogether because of what he witnessed, however, well....fuck it! On second thought, it's perfect. Except for one missed quotation mark. :)
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-14 06:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-14 06:32:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought I'd already rated this.
Submitted by squattails_mom (user info) at 2004-09-14 06:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
WTF?? I'M NOT READING ALL THAT
Submitted by JaneDoe (user info) at 2004-09-13 19:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GhostWriter (user info) at 2004-09-13 19:29:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Absolutely beautiful writing.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-09-13 18:47:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've said it before and I'll say it again: You rock the house.
This really was excellent. Post more often.
Submitted by Garet_Jax (user info) at 2004-09-13 18:31:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, I had to struggle not to bust into tears in front of some students at work. Powerfull stuff.
Submitted by NSFW (user info) at 2004-09-13 17:53:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2004-09-13 17:00:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember you...the Springsteen fan.
I just took a tour through your catalog, you'll go far in UberMadness. Really exceptional stuff.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2004-09-13 12:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just amazing, awesome writing.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-09-13 10:41:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Badlands is my Boyeeee!
Submitted by Ancius (user info) at 2004-09-13 05:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
winner.
totally awesome.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-09-13 02:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet. You've got mad skills, dude.
Can't wait to see how far you'll go in UM.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-09-13 01:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best writing I've ever seen on this site. I got to go check the UM brackets...<patter patter patter>
Submitted by azrael_shinobi <azrael_shinobi.at.msn.com> at 2004-09-12 22:16:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"her brains painted the walls"
nicely written, liked it much
Submitted by berta <here.there.at.anywhere.com> at 2004-09-12 18:44:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously awesome. I like how you write.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-12 16:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wtf? I am not reading all of that!
Okay.. I just did. Good job!
Submitted by Martyn_Steiner (user info) at 2004-09-12 15:39:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tres bon.
I didn't get the whole Nick Faldo thing though - think I must be stupid. 'cause obviously Nick Faldo famous Nick Faldo did play golf again. Was the name supposed to trick us into believing it had a happy ending?
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2004-09-12 13:06:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-09-12 12:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck, a good post on most heated?
What the hell is going on?
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-09-12 01:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yup
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-12 01:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit
Submitted by NoahsArk (user info) at 2004-09-11 19:05:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you for sharing this!
Submitted by AnotherStupidUsername (user info) at 2004-09-11 18:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-09-11 18:17:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was a damn good story.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 18:14:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-09-11 05:43:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
The above crap is fucking pathetic, not only does he try and romance all the bitches on here but since they all turned him down he has moved onto the menz, enjoy faggo.
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Forgive Bills, he has a tiny peener. How about this jackass, i'm tired of shit like "Kristen's Pregnant" and other UberDram become most heated in 2 minutes, when a damned high quality post like this gets little respect. It deserved to be on most heated, so i put it there.
Also, since when i do try and "romance the bitches" you fucking tool? Because i made a post that one of my favorite users was coming back? Damn, i'll try not to show appreciation for anyone anymore, thanks for that lesson in masculinity.
Do the world a favor and kill yourself.
Submitted by Rainer (user info) at 2004-09-11 15:19:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus-motherfucking-two
Submitted by Pacifist248 (user info) at 2004-09-11 13:25:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainAmik (user info) at 2004-09-11 12:04:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Gravy...Falco....Faldo....Golf....I would have used a 5 wood
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-09-11 11:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My boy's wicked smaaart!!
Baby,,,you are by far the best!!
Submitted by Dino (user info) at 2004-09-11 09:36:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow!
My palms are still clammy.
Grabbed my pitching wedge out of my golf bag just for shits and giggles!
Submitted by Kon at 2004-09-11 09:32:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It had been really long since I found myself staring at the screen with my mouth open.
That story is incredible! I'm so going to make everyone I know read it. Well done!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2004-09-11 09:30:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really struggled to answer the next stupid internet connection problem sat here at work choking down my adams apple, you god damned ass hole. I hated that woman with all my heart and really felt the characters frustration and the little boys pain. Awesome, just awesome...
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-09-11 08:51:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was absolutely A-MAZING. I guess I can now take comfort in the fact that even if I do win my bracket, You or Filthy will kick the ever living shit out of me. Great writing.
Submitted by Spookster (user info) at 2004-09-11 06:57:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-10 15:10:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for making the hair on my arms stand up.
===================
Ditto.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-09-11 05:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:24:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
oops, weird how that happens sometimes.
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Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:10:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
be
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Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:10:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
should
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Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:10:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
it
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Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:10:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Think
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Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:10:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
one,
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Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
for
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Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
I
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Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
heated
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Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
most
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Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
on
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Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
this
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Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
isn't
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Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Why
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Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
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The above crap is fucking pathetic, not only does he try and romance all the bitches on here but since they all turned him down he has moved onto the menz, enjoy faggo.
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:36:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Incredible.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:24:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oops, weird how that happens sometimes.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:10:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
be
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:10:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
should
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:10:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Think
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:10:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
one,
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heated
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
most
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
on
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
isn't
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2004-09-11 01:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This should be most heated just so everyone reads it =)
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-09-10 23:20:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 +2 +2 Wow.
Submitted by ZeroSignal (user info) at 2004-09-10 23:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2004-09-10 21:35:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'll probably be out before it would be even possible to face you, but it would be an honor to lose to you nonetheless.
Submitted by Natalia_Everitt (user info) at 2004-09-10 18:33:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent... thanks very much for something that was actually worth my time.
+2!
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2004-09-10 18:28:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Amazing
Submitted by Julia (user info) at 2004-09-10 18:05:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really enjoyed this story, enough to give it a +2, but the beginning was confusing. It sounded like Nick was an adult, reflecting on when he was a boy called Nicky.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2004-09-10 17:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was an amazing piece of writing
Submitted by strangeparadox (user info) at 2004-09-10 16:46:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
kicker of all ass.....and finally i mean it whole heartedly
Submitted by Holoman (user info) at 2004-09-10 16:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Quite the story... I like the feel of a large titanium shaft in my hands too
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-09-10 16:32:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-09-10 16:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit, do I feel fucking bad for who goes up against you in the first round.
Oh ya. Thanks for ruining my weekend.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-09-10 16:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to +2 this again, cause Badlands is my man!
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-09-10 16:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NETHOS really ought to go catch ebola.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-09-10 15:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This streak is longer than my skid marks.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-09-10 15:54:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What a masterpiece.
I'd love to face you in UberMadness... regardless of the outcome, it would be an honor.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-09-10 15:33:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good stuff. If it wasn't for the fact that there will be some serious head-butting between us I'd say you would have an easy walk to the ubermadness throne. But I'm not gonna make it easy for ya.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-10 15:27:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really enjoyed reading that. Even though you use a lot of coordinating conjunctions at the beginning of sentences which I always have a hard time getting used to. We're a lot more unpermissive about this than anglos seem to be.
Awesome post.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-09-10 15:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How does anyone stand a chance against someone like this?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-10 15:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for making the hair on my arms stand up.
Submitted by ardubs (user info) at 2004-09-10 14:53:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Unbelievable. I want to adopt that Nicky.
Submitted by Gram_Cracker (user info) at 2004-09-10 14:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that almost made me cry
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-09-10 14:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
....please don't face badlands in UM... please don't face badlands in UM...
Submitted by fog (user info) at 2004-09-10 14:24:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just created my account to give this +2.....
This is serious, ass-kicking, great stuff!
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-09-10 14:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Outstanding.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2004-09-10 14:16:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn...that was great
Submitted by ScoutCJustice (user info) at 2004-09-10 14:14:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit, I gotta go change my Ubermadness predictions.
God I wish I could write like that.
Submitted by Caldur (user info) at 2004-09-10 14:03:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2004-09-10 13:51:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Powerful.
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-09-10 13:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow.
Submitted by 38missing at 2004-09-10 13:46:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy shit, that was so fucking badass. Thank you for that.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-09-10 13:46:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You just made my heart go cold and my nads shrivel.
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-09-10 13:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome!
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-09-10 13:41:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bene bene
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-09-10 13:30:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bad-I just can't even begin to tell you how wonderful you are.
But I AM going to show you, very soon!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-09-10 13:29:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Badlands, you are one hell of a writer.
I thoroughly enjoyed this.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-09-10 13:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Baby...you are soooooo good!!! +2+2+2+2+2
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-09-10 13:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah! Beat the cheating bitch with a long range iron! Sweet!
And I don't even like golf...
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-09-10 13:24:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was . . . ?
I think "crushing" is the word I'm looking for.
Daaaaaaaamn.
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2004-09-10 13:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
kickin' good stuff
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-09-10 13:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-09-10 13:20:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've said it countless times before, and I'll say it again. You WILL win Ubermadness. This was absolutely amazing.