The Red House (438 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.57 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by vodka7tall <vodka7tall.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-09-10 16:06:27 EDT
When you grow up in a small town, there's not a lot to do as a kid. You and your friends can ride your bikes to the creek and catch tadpoles in a bucket. You can hang out on the picnic table in front of the town's only convenience store and eat Popsicles all day long. You can throw rocks at abandoned buildings. You can play hide and seek, tag, or if you're feeling really saucy, the enhanced version, freeze tag.
But the best game of all when you live in a town with nothing to do, is Bloody Murder.
Now, I'm not sure if this game is as well known as tag or even freeze tag. Hell, I'm not even sure if it's a real game, or it's just one we made up out of sheer boredom.
But what I'm mostly unsure of is how the game came to be called Bloody Murder. The story that ensues is perhaps one explanation for this gruesome moniker. But first, allow me to explain the rules.
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Bloody Murder must be played outside a building which one can completely run around. Fences and other such obstacles must not get in the way. A location in the front of the building is selected as home.
One unlucky player (usually the stupid kid who was the last to yell out "NOT IT!") is It. It's job is to tag (or "murder") the other players one by one before they have a chance to make it home free (or "alive").
The first round starts with all the players at home. It counts as fast as It can to 100 while the other players race to the back of the building. When It has finished counting, It runs to the back, and attempts to murder (tag) as many of the other players as It can. Any players who are murdered become It's for the next round. Any players who make it home without being killed are safe.
Once everyone has either made it home or has been tagged, round two begins. The original It, along with all the new It's count to 100 while the safe players return to the back of the building. The game now becomes infinitely more difficult for the safe players, because now the It's can come from both directions. The rounds continue as such until the last player is caught.
Bloody Murder is ideal for kids who are too stupid for hide and seek, and too slow for tag (which more or less describes every kid in my neighbourhood). It removes the requirement for enough intelligence to find a decent hiding spot, and as long as you're not the slowest kid on the block, you'll probably last at least 2 rounds. Just perfect for fat, lazy assholes such as myself.
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Now, in my neighbourhood, the building we used was the burnt out house next door to mine. It was sided with that asphalt-like red brick shingling, and was affectionately referred to as "The Red House" by all the neighbourhood kids. It had caught fire some five or six years back, and had been abandoned ever since. The Red House was great for many reasons. The roof in the back was low enough that with a boost from a friend, you could easily climb up on it. Not to mention we had broken several of the windows, and ventured inside the house many, many times. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is cooler to a ten year old kid than the half-charred crap you find inside a burnt out house that you have no business being inside in the first place. This house was fascinating to us, and I only ended up having to get one tetanus shot in all the years we played there. Actually, I'm kind of surprised that with our parent's nonchalant style of child rearing, more of us weren't killed or maimed. But I digress.
It was closing in on bed time. The sun had set just minutes ago; an eerie darkness descended on St. Clair Street. Jeremy was It. He was a tall kid for his age; most of us only came up to his chin. He was faster than most of us as well, and when it came to Bloody Murder, he would show no mercy, taking victims at will.
Jeremy started counting while the rest of us hustled to the back of the house, giggling and tee-heeing as children will do. We arrived at the back, and a silence fell over the group as we awaited our killer. We huddled together in fear, listening quietly in an attempt to determine from which direction he would appear. We waited, and we listened. The stillness was almost sinister.
Seconds later, I heard him bellow a bloodcurdling roar as he came barrelling around the left corner of the house, triggering frightened shrieks from the rest of us. We ran like crazy towards the right corner of the house, screaming and hollering, fearing for our ten year old lives.
I watched in horror as he took down my best friend, Kim. He was closing in. I tried to muster all of the speed I possibly could, and ran until my lungs began to hurt (which wasn't very far; like I said, I was a fat, lazy asshole of a kid). I heard the screams of other kids as they were taken out, one by one. Their cries were chilling.
But something was wrong. The screams I heard weren't coming from behind me. They sounded as if they were coming from the other side of the house. But how could that be? I turned my head to determine the killer's whereabouts, as I rounded the front corner of the house. The killer was nowhere to be seen.
It suddenly dawned on me. The killer had changed course. He was no longer chasing me, he was coming straight...
THUD!
I fell to the ground, an agonizing pain like I had never felt shooting from my forehead. I was disoriented, barely conscious. Minutes later, I was able to bring myself to a seated position. I was still feeling somewhat woozy, and the throbbing in my head was intensifying at an alarming rate. I could feel something warm trickle down the bridge of my nose.
"Holy Shit!" I heard someone exclaim. "His tooth is stuck in her forehead!" I looked at my friends, most of whom were staring at me, mouths gaping. One by one, they started laughing. I raised my hand to my head, and sure enough, something was protruding from my brow.
I looked at Jeremy, who sat with his hand covering his mouth, blood oozing through his fingers. The two of us had collided at the corner of the house. I had turned my head forward just in time to receive his front tooth in my right temple. I pulled the tooth from my head and handed it to him.
"Here," I said. "I think this is yours."
User Reviews
Submitted by Amy <amy101rules.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-09-25 02:36:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-09-13 16:12:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Only six reviews. Fucking shocking.
Submitted by Midnight_Laydee (user info) at 2004-09-10 18:06:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Geez! We used to play a game like this too but the "home" was called the base and it was more like hide and seek and tag mixed up together. And there was some kind of song you had to sing when you were back at base but I don't remember it. Classy collision though, the worst we ever had was my sister running into the corner of the neighbours house that's all pebble-dashed. She was looking behind her and turned her head just in time for full corner-to-eye contact. Nasty black eye for ages. Think people thought she was getting beaten up at home, she had to stop going to the supermarket with my mum and dad.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-09-10 17:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I was expecting a jimi hendrix reference..I was mistaken.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-09-10 16:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-09-10 16:23:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Camwhore please to prove the existance of said scar.
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2004-09-10 16:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Dude where's my tooth?"
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-09-10 16:15:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment