"Bad, bad Bart Cilfone" (1472 hits)
Category: HumorLabels: songposts
Rating: 1.29 on 66 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bigmike (View user info) at 2004-09-11 01:17:06 EDT
Don't ask me why. The thought just popped into my head. Now, everybody sing!
"Bad, Bad Bart Cilfone"
Well the South side of Chicago
Is the baddest part of town
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of a man named Bart Cilfone
Now Bart is more than trouble
You see he stand 'bout five foot eight
All the downtown ladies call him Shortstop Lover
All the Aussies call him mate
And it's bad, bad Bart Cilfone
He's bad and Ubersite he owns
Banning when they break the rules
And meaner than a minus two
Now Bart he's a webmaster
And he like his fancy posts
And he like to wave his nice website
In front of everybody's nose
He got a half a million hits
He got a search function thats gone
He got too many users in Ubermadness
Keeping Razor up till dawn
And it's bad, bad Bart Cilfone
He's bad and Ubersite he owns
Banning when they break the rules
And meaner than a minus two
Now Friday 'bout a week ago
Bart was posting nice
And in the most heated
Sat a post by Koolmang
And oo that post was ripe
Well he cast his eyes upon it
And he gave it minus two's
and Bart he did teach a lesson and was messin'
with the post of a hater of Jews
And it's bad, bad Bart Cilfone
He's bad and Ubersite he owns
Banning when they break the rules
And meaner than a minus two
Well the two men took to posting
And when Most Heated settled down
Koolmang looked like I Have a Kristin Fetish
With most of his rating gone
And it's bad, bad Bart Cilfone
He's bad and Ubersite he owns
Banning when they break the rules
And meaner than a minus two
And it's bad, bad Bart Cilfone
He's bad and Ubersite he owns
Banning when they break the rules
And meaner than a minus two
Thank you, thank you very much.
User Reviews
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-11-26 16:47:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No comment.
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-11-26 16:46:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-26 16:31:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, man. I just read this again and wrote my own version of this song. A sequel, if you will.
I'm going to have two versions made-- one in rap form and one in rock form. Once I'm done, I'm going to upload them to my site and post the link.
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-11-08 10:01:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had totally forgot that BigMike made this post when I wrote my latest post.
For the real version of the song, go here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/50903.
Although I have to say BigMike, you did a helluva job with your UberVersion of the song.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-09-26 22:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it! I was singing along.....
Every time I tried to flame them,
The words just came out wrong.
So from now on I'll just camwhore....my big shlong....
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-09-26 22:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Jim Croce
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-14 01:06:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-14 00:51:18 (#)
Ranking: -1
I didn't think anyone could write a song that was actually WORSE than "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" but somehow you were able to accomplish that BigMike.
Way to go.
Thank you Shlongy. I appreciate that. I'll take your opinion for what it's worth to me.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-09-14 00:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You don't always get what you give BigMike. You, in my opinion as well as many other loyal fans and users, create and contribute so much to this site that it's nearly unparalleled. There are very few users, probably anywhere between 10-15, that can consistently put forth an effort and tell a remarkable story, whether it be emotionally heartfelt or action packed or tense or just funny.
This site isn't the same for me as it is for you. You've got a knack for writing and that's what you do because you enjoy it. I'm on the other end of that, as I immensely enjoy reading a story and being entertained. I love writing too. Creating a story is an awesome experience for me, but most of what I write I don't post on Ubersite. I write for me, but I post for the users.
You write and people enjoy your writing. Thus, they enjoy Ubersite; but who's writing are you supposed to enjoy on a regular basis? Maybe I'm looking at it wrong but to me it seems as if users enjoy your writing, but you've got no one else to read and be a fan of.
I understand this site can be frustrating, especially when viewing it from a perspective of giving quality to the site and not finding quality from other users.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-14 00:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I didn't think anyone could write a song that was actually WORSE than "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" but somehow you were able to accomplish that BigMike.
Way to go.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-14 00:36:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fabish,
Maybe there are some things that I don't realize. I just get extremely frustrated with this site sometimes. There's so much talent here.......
BM
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-09-14 00:18:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry BigMike.
This goes a lot deeper then the UberMadness response, but that's what toggled my switch. I enjoy UberMadness a lot (and your writing for that matter), so vote how you wish. As long as you read both entries and give the author a chance so as to make it unbiased then I say it's fair, but there is no jurisdiction over voting or how you do it. Which is fine.
I don't understand how a few typos can detract from a superfluous entry. I agree that it is bothersome and with ten days it really tosses the mind away from reading it, but my own opinion is that if a story is really good, then the errors can be ignored.
As for my outlash, it was stemmed from your overall negative attitude for nearly a month. Part of it can be noticed when you'd respond with some sort of criticism and finish the reply with "...as if my opinion matters..." or something to that effect.
You'd be surprised who's opinion on this site DOES have merit. That link in my last reply slid me over the edge, and I apologize for making it seem as if I was spewing hatred directly at you, but my intentions weren't so sincere. This apology is, though; while at the same time I still hope you realize that you are coming off as a jerk (don't take that too harshly) in many of your replies over the past weeks.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-09-13 22:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One of the most clever parodies I've seen here to date.
I'm still laughing... and singing
that
infernal
song!
Damn it, Mike! I pray I never have to write against you.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-13 22:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sublime,
Everybody is a little different when it comes to this point. I cannot really enjoy a work if there are spelling errors and such.
Not in Ubermadness anyway.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-09-13 22:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bigmike, i disagree,
I think the point of Ubermadness is to see who is the best poster, not to spend limitless amounts of time working on a post so that it is fine grammatically and contains no spelling mistakes. Mind you i do agree that alot of mistakes and alot of bad grammar will not help your post, but i usually don't pick up any of the mistakes in posts nor do i care about them.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-13 22:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
By the way Fabish, I will stand by this until the end of UberMadness:
If you are going to submit a piece for a competition, you had better make sure that it is flawless in composition. Obvious grammar and spelling mistakes have absolutely no place in a contest of writing.
I am not being and asshole.
If somebody, anybody wants to be in this type of competition and they have 10 DAYS to write something, it should be as close to perfect as it can be. Spelling errors and typos have no place here.
That was an honest criticism. I was not being an asshole on purpose. I actually did stop reading the first post after I saw the mistake in the first paragraph. I actually did go back and read it after I read the second post. I put down the way I actually felt after reading them. If I thought they kicked ass, I would have put that down as well.
Cry me a river.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-13 21:59:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"So long."
Bye.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-09-13 20:51:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1095118225516717942#798094
What the fuck is wrong with you, Mike? You're one of the only people on this site that has showed the emotions of a fucking human being with compassion, understanding, agreeance, persuasiveness, and overall upbeat positive mannerisms. You're talking about retiring because of the thousands of idiots that roam this site, and little do you realize how much of an ass you've proven yourself to be in this last week.
I admire what you do, how you go about doing it, and especially your contributions you've made to this site concerning quality, but you always respond with constructive criticism, trying to help out others. Where the hell did that go? This site is getting to you, and now I'm going to sound like the dickhead for saying this, but I'm going to anyway to get my point across.
You want to retire after UberMadness? I say, good riddance to you. Your negative attitude towards this site and the users and the posts, as of late, has only increased the deterioration of Ubersite, as a whole.
So long.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-09-13 18:46:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was underwhelmed.
Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2004-09-13 18:33:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What munkey said.
Don't let the Falcos win.
A great parody of a great song, by the way.
Stay orange.
--JW
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-09-13 18:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
mike, if you leave im gtoing to be pissed at you.
see munkeypants comment below.
If you do leave i will track you down the next time i take a trip to cooperstown and uhhh...(pausing to reason: this is one big mofo) give you quite a talking to!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-12 17:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-11 19:22:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
He wants me to retire, and I will, but not until I get beat in ubermadness. Once that happens. I can leave and never worry about him or any other of the hundreds of assholes that are on this site.
This site has become infested with idiots and it makes the other new people who might be good look bad. As of today I stop writing on uber until I get my first title.
------------------------------
You realize it's like "letting the terrorists win", right?
Don't let them drive you from uber. You obviously enjoy writing. You
obviously enjoy being here. There are plenty of people here that respect
you and enjoy your posts. Think of them!
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-09-12 01:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE finish DoaM first! Please? I'll promise you unlimited sexual favors from my sister (she's a slut anyway). Better yet, I'll promise NOT to promise you sexual favors from my sister.
*whimper*
I'll cry. I'll cry and it will be all your fault. And I look absolutely horrid when I cry. You wouldn't want that on your consience, would you?
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-12 01:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-11 21:57:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay. I spent the last hour trying to come up with a suitable threat to make you stay. And here it is:
If you leave, I'm going to take over writing the DoaM posts.
Maybe you'll be better at it than I am. You don't know him as well as I do though.
Submitted by Degreeless2 (user info) at 2004-09-11 22:10:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you leave, I'll be able to post bestiality and shit on my neighbor's yard in peace.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-09-11 22:06:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you leave I'll stop watching baseball and proclaim fishing to be barbaric.
I'll also convince children at a very young age that if you start wearing glasses you'll eventually go blind because they steal your eyesight, and that's why you need to wear them.
And I'll tell them that contacts steal their souls.
Think of the children, Mike.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-11 21:57:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay. I spent the last hour trying to come up with a suitable threat to make you stay. And here it is:
If you leave, I'm going to take over writing the DoaM posts.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-11 21:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll probably stick around and rate but I just won't submit any new material.
We'll see how Ubermadness goes. From what I see on the other post, I am somewhat of a favorite for at least a top 5 finish.
Who knows. I love Ubermadness because sometimes the people who spam with -2's vote for my post. I love it when that happens.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-09-11 20:41:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-11 20:25:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You might be the best writer on here, so it's gonna be that much worse when you retire. Good luck in your writing future, and you should really look into getting some of your stuff published if you haven't already.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-09-11 20:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mike, if you find your utopian site, you let me know.
Give pulseHEAD a shot. No trolls.
Also, your leaving saddens me because JohnGalt and I are going to take a road trip next summer, Syracuse a possibility for a stop. I'd still hope you'd let us visit, even if you've cut off your uber-billical cord.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-11 20:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-11 19:35:53 (#)
Ranking: 1
You're really leaving? Damn.
No big deal. It's not fun anymore. I can write anywhere, why do it here, where there are hundreds of idiots screwing around and acting childish.
The sad part is, there are some good writers here but they get overshadowed by the children.
Yeah, boo hoo right?
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-11 19:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're really leaving? Damn.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-11 19:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-11 11:27:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-11 07:22:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
Just cos Bart wont give you anal this weekend doesnt mean you have to resort to writing him love songs by candlelight, retire for gods sake your too old.
--------------------------------------------
oh for baby jebus's sake.. STFU! It was for fun. It was to amuse us and we were amused.
Bart is the biggest target on here. Of course people are going to write things about him.
Do you want a song written about you? Is that it? Are you jealous?
No munkey, Falco just likes to spam me with -2's while being an asshole about it. He does it to others too.
He wants me to retire, and I will, but not until I get beat in ubermadness. Once that happens. I can leave and never worry about him or any other of the hundreds of assholes that are on this site.
This site has become infested with idiots and it makes the other new people who might be good look bad. As of today I stop writing on uber until I get my first title.
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-09-11 18:08:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-09-11 13:33:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bwahahahaha! That was excellent.
Linkwhore
http://www.ubersite.com/m/35756
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-11 12:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great.
Now I'm on kazaa downloading Jim Croce songs.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-09-11 11:52:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA! ive been listening to jim croce lately.
do rapid roy next!
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-09-11 11:42:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When two tribes go to war, blah blah blah blah blah blah score!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-11 11:27:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-11 07:22:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
Just cos Bart wont give you anal this weekend doesnt mean you have to resort to writing him love songs by candlelight, retire for gods sake your too old.
--------------------------------------------
oh for baby jebus's sake.. STFU! It was for fun. It was to amuse us and we were amused.
Bart is the biggest target on here. Of course people are going to write things about him.
Do you want a song written about you? Is that it? Are you jealous?
+ fucking 2, Big Mike.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-09-11 11:23:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice. What is the original tune? Yes, I'm an uncultured ignoramus. Enlighten me.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-11 08:09:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-11 08:04:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow a spelling mistake?
Does everyone whine when you fuck up a post and re-do it? No
Stop clutching at straws and just retire.
Why don't you read my review of your last post and start acting like a grown up.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-11 08:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow a spelling mistake?
Does everyone whine when you fuck up a post and re-do it? No
Stop clutching at straws and just retire.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-11 07:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:59:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
Mike do us a favour, take your tounge out of Barts rectum and RETIRE.
By the way, what the fuck is a tounge? Way to put that elementary school degree to work.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-11 07:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-11 07:22:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-11 07:16:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-11 03:40:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
Its a stupid fucking song.
------------
You're a stupid fucking retard.
Give it up. You are pathetic.
---------------
Just cos Bart wont give you anal this weekend doesnt mean you have to resort to writing him love songs by candlelight, retire for gods sake your too old.
The quality of your insults rival those of the most intelligent 12 year olds on the planet. Seriously. Wonderful stuff for your age group.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-11 07:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-11 07:16:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-11 03:40:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
Its a stupid fucking song.
------------
You're a stupid fucking retard.
Give it up. You are pathetic.
---------------
Just cos Bart wont give you anal this weekend doesnt mean you have to resort to writing him love songs by candlelight, retire for gods sake your too old.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-11 07:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-11 03:40:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
Its a stupid fucking song.
You're a stupid fucking retard.
Give it up. You are pathetic.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-11 06:01:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Better than expected.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-09-11 05:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aussies call him mate?
That made me laugh. Hehe...
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2004-09-11 03:44:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-11 01:28:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
I picture Bart Bart as Clint Eastwood now.
----------------------------------------------------------------
And Clint is one bad mammajamma.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-11 03:40:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Its a stupid fucking song.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-09-11 03:25:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:59:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
Mike do us a favour, take your tounge out of Barts rectum and RETIRE.
-----------
+2 to cancel this out. Mike, you rule.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:59:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Mike do us a favour, take your tounge out of Barts rectum and RETIRE.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will now proceed to have that song stuck in my head all day. Thanks, Mike. Thanks a LOT.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:56:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great song, but I'm six foot tall and nobody calls me "shortstop", bud.
Submitted by tshia2 (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:54:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And +2 because I'm a crack addict who is too tired to remember to click on the damned ranking menu!
*cry*
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:48:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for Biggie for writing it. It ruled.
-and-
+2 because I caught the parody without help!
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-09-11 02:40:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bart could be a Leroy. The dorky kind, not the mean kind.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-11 01:58:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Next you need a parody of "the devil went down to Georgia"
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2004-09-11 01:51:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-09-11 01:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus
Effing
Two
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-11 01:36:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-09-11 01:32:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
This is poetry.
Poetry usually gets -2, but since I might want you to take it easy on me in madness, I'll spare that.
No, this is parody.
Special thanks to Jim Croce. May his soul rest in peace.
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-09-11 01:33:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAhahahahahahhaa
Jolly good show
GO BEARS WOO!!!
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-09-11 01:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is poetry.
Poetry usually gets -2, but since I might want you to take it easy on me in madness, I'll spare that.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-11 01:28:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I picture Bart Bart as Clint Eastwood now.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-09-11 01:18:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
baddest cat in the whole damn town