Wand'ring the Mythical Gardens (839 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: ets_poetry
Rating: 1.25 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (View user info) at 2004-09-11 22:17:43 EDT
We entered a garden beyond the mirror sea,
a land hung in darkness within an eerie dream -
We came upon this region searching for the sun,
but the angelic legions had long since gone -
every one.
We were approached by a haggard in black -
blistered lips and tobacco hands -
who, knowing we would not turn aback,
offered escort into foreign lands...
He said:
"Let's take a trip on
to the land of fairies and fireflies
and wee, wing'ed dragons
by the crystal waterside -
in the secret places
within unmoved airs
where serpents slither
but do not bite,
and the stars bend down
to lay their kisses on the ground
in the cool reptilian night."
So we followed this broken shape
into the dying gloam
past vegetable towers
and forest bowers,
and glades of flowers
whose colors were unknown -
when up ahead in the silver glowing
beyond the trees whose leaves were blowing
in the sleepy fluttering, the easeful flowing,
came a draft like the breath of angels;
and to my very core it blew,
whispering songs of life anew -
arias sweet as honeydew.
And the shape turned to us and said:
"We're not far now; it's just ahead.
The land of all your dreams awaits
just beyond those misty gates."
And he lifted his finger and pointed beyond
a patch of shiny, silver fronds
to where the forest disappeared
into a foggy milk.
"There you will find the light that you seek
beyond this forest dull and bleak.
Be not humble; be not meek -
but revel in those pleasures great
that lie behind that misty gate."
So one by one our company filed
into the haggard's artful wile,
as I saw him smile a beaming smile,
I was stricken suddenly mad...
I lept into the silver shining,
and teetered on the border lining
in an atmosphere of swimming jelly
that wormed its way into my belly -
with wicked tendrils grasping -
with wirey fingers clasping
at the breath that I was gasping.
Stifled inhalation...
Thinning respiration...
Constricted suffocation...
The beating of disaster
pounding faster...
pounding faster...
And in the hellish fever of those grueling moments after,
methinks I heard a haggardly man maniacal with laughter...
User Reviews
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-11 02:00:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by eIectrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-23 07:18:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
Submitted by equaIizer (user info) at 2004-10-21 21:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-18 21:23:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
poetry...ewww
Submitted by Julia (user info) at 2004-09-24 00:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this, especially how you slipped in and out of rhyme. I could picture the place too. My poems tend to rhyme, and even the ones that don't are usually in blank verse. I admire people who can write well without those restrictions.
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2004-09-15 07:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ya know, fetish reminds me of this guy/girl who used to go to toolband all the time. he/she used to flood the chatroom with Z's for fucking HOURS. that fucker took the time to type the same letter and hit enter for that long. that made me feel so sorry for that person. made me wonder what uncle buttraped him/her when they were a child. fetish contributes absolutely nothing to this forum, and honestly, probably nothing to his environment. waste of oxygen. whats even sadder than all this, is that i would love to suddenly appear behind him at his computer, and throw a left hook so hard at his left temple that he would be coughing up blood for weeks if it didnt kill him. his name says it all....he is obsessed with a girl on the internet. prolly weeps himself to sleep as he masturbates to her image.
anyway, i think you should post the man who remembered here. you havent already have you? i dont think i remember seeing it. ill give dat shit a +2 fo sho
give me a call later this week if you can after 4 pm......i have a question concerning a certain substance we used to ingest together when we were younger and more wiser? yeah, thats it
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-09-14 14:27:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really enjoyed this.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-14 14:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Breed: No EQ is not me. I don't even have a clue who it COULD be. Who knows, maybe Fetish has found a new way to fuck with people...(we can only wish)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-14 14:12:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Equalizer, I don't know who you are, but thanks, I guess. I appreciate the sentiment, but I honestly would like to see honest ratings. That's really all I've ever asked for...
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2004-09-14 07:59:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol brad, equalizer hit every single one of your threads.
i seriously hope its not really you
and i VERY seriously hope someone out there didnt go through the trouble to "equalize" every single thread made by you
and yeah....i just thought of this and it blew my mind....what if this equalizer guy hit every single thread here, and did the same. thats like, obsessive/compulsive or some shit.
Submitted by equalizer (user info) at 2004-09-14 03:44:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Equalized.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-13 09:03:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-12 11:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yea, bob...exactly.
You know...like we do all the time. ;)
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-12 10:56:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting.
Sort of like mistaking Hell for Xanadu.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-09-12 07:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm impressed.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-12 07:15:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Watch this space:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/24516#723058
http://www.ubersite.com/m/27660#723064
http://www.ubersite.com/m/27799#723071
http://www.ubersite.com/m/29406#723086
http://www.ubersite.com/m/29442#723089
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-12 00:53:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2004-09-11 23:26:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
"..into a foggy milk."
I read this part as "moggy filk." No idea why.
-----------------------------
I think it's because there is an f in the previous line right above the m in milk.
Everyone else: thanks for reading.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-09-12 00:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it. And I love you.
Submitted by Degreeless2 (user info) at 2004-09-11 23:46:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, I just read it. Its a pretty good poem.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-11 23:39:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-11 23:26:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
We were approached by a haggard in black -
blistered lips and tobacco hands -
who, knowing we would not turn aback,
offered escort into foreign lands...
This verse would have read better with 'back' in place of 'aback'. I like the 'blistered lips and tobacco hands' though.
This was pretty good, ETS. I really enjoyed it.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2004-09-11 23:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"..into a foggy milk."
I read this part as "moggy filk." No idea why.
Good poem. I always start off wanting to dislike poems, so poets have to prove me wrong.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-11 23:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Basically...the way I see it (and I should never explain my own poetry, it's too limiting) the travellers are dead souls. They are in a strange land now (the land of the dead), and instead of a benevolent guide to lead them to salvation...they run into an evil spirit who leads them into a trap (hell). Pretty much that simple.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-11 23:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright, I'm drunk now (GO ME, WOOOO!)
Anyway, read it twice and don't get it.
+2 cuz I don't understand it, so it must be good.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-11 23:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's cool Keifer...at least you're honest.
Submitted by The_Walrus (user info) at 2004-09-11 23:05:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't usually like poems that rhyme, but yet again i like poems which tell a story. So i was torn.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2004-09-11 22:59:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wasn't all that sure what the hell was going on but I liked the imagery
Submitted by KieferSutherland (user info) at 2004-09-11 22:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This kinda sucks. Sorry, but that's just how I feel.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-09-11 22:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Better than my poem.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-11 22:32:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't finish reading. I'll rate later when I'm drunk.
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2004-09-11 22:25:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"-2 4th poem on uber today"
he got a negative 2 for putting a poem up? or was it because it was the fourth up today, and you dont like poetry?
i liked it myself.
Submitted by Degreeless2 (user info) at 2004-09-11 22:19:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 4th poem on uber today
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-11 22:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Let the -2 parade begin.