Surviving I-95 (677 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.3 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Daniel Oakes <soakedinale.at.msn.com> (View user info) at 2004-09-12 23:14:05 EDT
There's nothing I can do about it know. He's just gone.
I keep on looking for answers. None cane be found. I've visited a
hundred websites. I started by typing "suicide" into Google:
"Suicide: Read This First".
"SAVE • Suicide Awareness Voices of Education We educate about
suicide and depression. Depression can be cured and suicide
prevented. ..."
"SuicideHotlines.com - When You Feel You Can't Go On -- Let
Someone ...Suicide Hotlines for immediate crisis intervention for
the severely depressed and gravely suicidal. ... Call
1-800-SUICIDE / 1-800-784-2433. ... "
All of them useless to me.
I have to work at the same time. I work at a call center. We answer
the phone and pretend to be some other companies. Some jackass from
Des Moines calls me up and wants to order a drill bit set. I don't
really give a shit because my brother is dead. My little brother is
gone. But I have to go: "Thank you for calling AMERICAN WOODWORKER, my
name is Dan. How can I help you?".
His Name was Jeff.
These websites are all useless because there all about prevention. It
just makes me so damn sad because I can't prevent any thing now.
But I could have. It's what scares me the most.
So I move down the list of Google links. I read clinical descriptions
of suicide. I discover that academic types describe suicide as "An
un-coerced self killing the conditions of which are self arranged".
"An un-coerced self killing".
My headset makes a beeping tone and I check the phone display to see what company I'm supposed to pretend to work for. It reads: WSTPRT. Which means I have to say, in an agonizingly friendly tone: "Thank you for calling the Westport Shoe Company. My name is Dan. How may I help You?".
With this client it's always some Little Old Lady on the other end. She always replies, in that shaky old lady voice: "I'd like to place an order from your catalog."
"Well, I would be happy to take an order for you." I say, As if taking orders from Little Old Ladies was my favorite thing to do. "There's just a little bit of information I'll need to start the order process"
"Ok." She says.
"Have you ever ordered from Westport Shoes before?" I ask.
"Yes."
"In that case you might have a customer ID number in a blue box on the back of your catalog."
I hear the shuffling of pages as she searches for the back of the catalog. It usually takes them a while to find the back cover where The Westport Shoe Company has printed both a customer ID number and source code.
"Yes it's 1548957."
"And the code in the pink box?"
"It's 1695868." she says.
I punch the Numbers into the computer at my station and it shows me her name and address. I read it back to her to make sure it's all correct. Sometimes people sound amazed by this, as though I used some kind of magic trick to read their mind instead of a computer.
I ask her what item she wants, she tells me. She asks what colors it's available in, and I tell her. I ask her if there are any other items she'd like to order, she gives me another item number. She asks me if the laces are nylon or cotton, I tell her I don't know, she'd have to ask Customer Service between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. She gives me her credit card number, I give her the order number. We tell each other to have a nice day. It's like a little dance. It's all very polite. It's all very predictable. I've had this conversation a thousand times before with a thousand Little Old Ladies.
It sucked writing that last part. It must have sucked to read it. Sorry. It felt like home work to me. I wanted to make you understand where I am. what I'm dong I didn't really mean to make this about Jeff either, but he's all I can think about right now.
What I wanted to tell all of you about was this trip I took when I was young...
Stay tuned for chapter two
User Reviews
Submitted by soakedinale (user info) at 2004-09-19 23:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45549 ---The saga continues
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-09-13 22:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I-95 in Florida is HELL.
also, very sorry man. if its any cosolation, i sorta know how you feel
http://www.ubersite.com/m/35593
Submitted by soakedinale (user info) at 2004-09-13 22:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I-95 is a federal highway that runs from Northern Maine to the southern tip of Florida So there is a piece of I-95 running through every state in the eastern seaboard
Submitted by causeican (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate your writing you pathetic loser
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-09-13 11:46:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good. I can feel where your at through your words, and its obvious your pretty messed up right now.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-09-13 11:33:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You sound like your mind is fragmented at the moment, jumping from one place to another and unable to focus, always being drawn back to your brother.
Hope it passes for you soon dude.
Submitted by lrw (user info) at 2004-09-13 11:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
95 goes right by my house in southside of jacksonville. heh
Submitted by causeican (user info) at 2004-09-13 11:17:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
just shoot yourself asshole
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-09-13 02:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh I thought by the title you were referring to Interstate 95 in New Jersey...but I'm drunk. And this was pretty freaklin' good.
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2004-09-13 00:45:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked it.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-09-13 00:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Potential
Submitted by krootons (user info) at 2004-09-12 23:41:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to work for a call center. Royal pain in the ass. Some customers are so irate..
especially around Christmas time.
Er.. sorry about your little bro. We can't live forever, though. Treasure what you had,
and try not to think about what could have happened too much. Dwelling on past decisions
can tear a man apart.
Submitted by Degreeless3 (user info) at 2004-09-12 23:39:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it'd be about Wisconsin.
Say, what is it you do? I don't get it...
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-09-12 23:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well-written.