Jerusalem - a city to defecate in? (989 hits)
Category: Politics -> IraqRating: -0.75 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by KoolMang (View user info) at 2004-09-13 05:46:08 EDT
Bart, oh Bart...I wonder what was going on through that little head of yours when you created his icon. Do you think the people of Iraq are okay to poke fun at? I do, too!
Someone told me a while ago about the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem - the only reason the Jews stay there. Apparently, it has some special powers that don't work that well, and it's just some wall. I saw one Jewish guy at the Wall (on a video, of course) beating his head against it. Anyway, this someone said that people put their wishes between the cracks of the wall, in little pieces of paper.
So the Jews are now litterers, as well? Kind of reminds me of that guy who preaches in my town about "accepting Jesus in order to be saved" by printing off (daily) hundreds of flyers, and spamming places with them. Does Jesus mind you killing his trees? Why can't the Jews just whisper their wishes? Do they think the Wailing Wall will teleport their message to the Gods? Speaking of which, Ubersite, I have some questions about the Jewish religion:
1) What Gods do they worship? I bet the answer won't surprise me, for I'll have never heard of them.
2) If Jesus Christ is the saviour, are the Jews fucked?
3) What happens to the pieces of paper jammed in the Wall?
User Reviews
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-09-14 15:35:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm bored, JewMang; entertain me!
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-14 14:12:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Alrighty then! Anyone who doesn't worship the Roman Gods are going to Hell!
Submitted by I.G (user info) at 2004-09-14 12:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Koolmang, lets ignore the fact that you use the term "smarts" lightly, and address you latest pearl of wisdom, shall we?
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:38:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
My theory, if you believe that those BORN into an infidel religion (assuming one IS correct and real) are exempt from Hell for not believing in the true religion, then if they don't have children, or don't raise their children into a belief, then they are exempt in my opinion.
___________
So, about 99.999999% of all humanity goes to hell? For those of you who are thick (yes, Koolmang, I do mean you), let me explain.
Lets take the Christan religion for example(can be used with any):
started about 2005 years ago. Of course, most of the human race was born before that. They worshiped idols and the like, not including the Jews. So therefore, ALL the people before that and ALL the people after, that arent Christians will burn in hell? A little extreme for not knowing better, no?
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:38:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry, poor baby...I didn't realize you were born Jewish, I'm sorry you got your dick cut.
_________
Boo-fucking-hoo.
For some reason a main thing you seem to laugh at is circumcision. However, you were a dumbass (Wow! Big surprise there eh?), and dicided to ignore the fact that people from almost every religion have their "dicks cut" willingly.
_________
That'll be 1 dumbass and pointless arguments. Would you like any fries with that?
Submitted by Degreeless3 (user info) at 2004-09-13 23:58:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jews worship the same god Christians and Muslims do.
Allah=Jehova=Jaweh=God
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-09-13 23:38:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Minus Jew Die
Submitted by LUE (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:38:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, I'm so sorry for those Jews who were born as Jews, same with every other religion. However, THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS!
The punishment for those who don't believe in Allah (ie their version of Hell):
Scorpions and torure chambers.
These are all just religions made by insecure people. The Jews wanted to make their religion so that they had a right to carry staves and all that fancy franchy crap. The Muslims made Islam because they wanted something modern to live by, and to make themselves distinct from others. However, it has extremes in both reward and punishment. By fulfilling Allah's Will (ie. killing infidels is an example, AND an interpretation of the Koran), you are guaranteed virgins in heaven.
If one, just ONE of these religions is correct, why would you dare let those born Jewish/whatever slip? Let's just use Jews as a good example. I'm sorry, poor baby...I didn't realize you were born Jewish, I'm sorry you got your dick cut.
*fast forward 25 years*
Nice baby, so what religion are you going to attend masses with him in? Synagogues? Judaism?!?!?
YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!
My theory, if you believe that those BORN into an infidel religion (assuming one IS correct and real) are exempt from Hell for not believing in the true religion, then if they don't have children, or don't raise their children into a belief, then they are exempt in my opinion.
Those who make their kids worship a unknowingly infidel religion are doomed, but their kids have a chance not to fuck things up.
We don't know the real answer 'till we die, but everyone seems adamant on offering their smarts, so I gave mine.
Submitted by I.G (user info) at 2004-09-13 14:03:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:42:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
I was brainwashed by the church as a child, unfortunately, so I still believe in the moral issues of my actions to a small degree. For example, if I was to register a new account, post child porn (from a library computer) and laugh my ass off, would I go to Hell for it? Definitely.
_________
So right now by posting this stuff you're sentencing yourself to Hell? Nice job.
_________
Let me tell you something, WhateverMang, The Wailing Wall is the last wall of a sacred temple of the Jews that was fucked up a while back. Therefore they belive that by putting the pieces of paper in there, God will hear their wishes.
Now you make fun of it, but how about if the Christians had something like that, that they belived would make God hear their wishes. Would you be making fun of that? Hell no.
Now also, how about the millions of Jews, that are Jews because they were born that way. So, it's right for them all to go to hell (acording to you) because of something they had no control of?
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 05:59:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Avals, someone once said that the Koran states that EVERY Muslim should fight the infidels. So what I mean by jihad is when EVERY muslim decides to fuck shit up.
__________
Since you put EVERY in caps, I'll assume you really do mean EVERY Muslim. News flash, will EVERY rich Muslin that's living in America/Europe/wherever start "fucking shit up"? No. So therefore there will never be a jihad. Let's assume for a miniute that the people who made up the idea of jihad werent total morons, and knew that not EVERY Muslin would start blowing himself up or whatever. So the jihad wouldn't need EVERY Muslin alive to start doing shit.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2004-09-13 10:33:03 (#)
Ranking: 1
And in history they have been a constant source of irritation. Like an STD of the human race. I don't hate Jews but goddamnitt they are a pain in the ass.
__________
Yeah. I mean, the jews just randomly blow themsleves up in buildings, take hundreds of kids hostage in a school, and destroy the World Trade Center... right?
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-09-13 13:16:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-09-13 12:30:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm not trying to be original and creative, I'm trying to tell the truth!
You're a Jew; thus, JewMang. Hey, if the shoe fits...
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2004-09-13 11:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Someone from the religion comes and takes them out at night, and replaces them with a shiny nickle.
Religion: Santa's last frontier.
Submitted by SIRIUSLIVES at 2004-09-13 10:56:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
F- for being a dumbshit and thinking that makeing fun of the jews in the most unoriginal unclever fashion was going to be funny. Mel Brooks has told better jokes in crappy movies about his own people. Calling the jews fucked for not knowing christ doesn't leave you in a good position either.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 10:43:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I watch the show "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and it portrays Larry David as a Jew (which he probably is). The thing is, what is stereotypical Jewish behaviour isn't reflected through HIM, but through other people. His manager, Jeff, is one of the protagonists because they're good friends. His wife, Cheryl, is a protagonist because she's a very calm person, and supportive of Larry. However, everyone else he meets, like Jeff's wife (who's always got something to scream and bitch about) treats him like dirt.
Examples:
-a couple who has been together 14 months, and they get them a bottle of $300 wine as a gift, and the fucking couple REFUSES to accept it from Larry and Cheryl because there's the "official" rule that wedding gifts have a 12-month deadline.
-an old guy goes to a law firm to transfer his son's will towards Cheryl's environmental cause, but when he goes on a Friday, it's casual Friday, and gets so fucking pissed off when he sees a lawyer in regular clothes, because he wants to see "professionalism".
I think my argument can also be drawn into Jewish-type behaviour like that.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-09-13 10:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
1) What Gods do they worship? I bet the answer won't surprise me, for I'll have never heard of them.
You've got to be shitting me.
2) If Jesus Christ is the saviour, are the Jews fucked?
No. Jesus' teachings (if they really happened) were those of forgiveness. Only the Baptists think the Jews are fucked.
3) What happens to the pieces of paper jammed in the Wall?
I'd assume they probably decompose after awhile. They might even have someone whose job is to go through and flamethrow them out or throw them away.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 10:35:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Last fucking time...if you're going to call me JewMang, call me JewlMang! ADD AN L TO BE ORIGINAL AND CREATIVE! DUMBASSES!
This is my first time reviewing from an ip other than my own house. It's a weird feeling. They have hard-back chairs instead of my soft comfy office chair. They have crappy keyboards instead of my ergonomic keyboard. However, they do offer top-of-the-line Dells, unlimited freedom (no librarian nazis bitching at you for email etc), and there are tons of people like you pissing their time away surfing.
DIE STINKING JEWS!
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2004-09-13 10:33:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Jews for the most part are bastards. Its not fair to stereotype an entire religion. Im sure there are good ones out there. Ive just never ran across one. It's not really their religion that makes them so hated. It's mainly due to the fact that they are cheap, stingy, crooked, behind the back, manipulating fuckheads, for the most part anyways. And in history they have been a constant source of irritation. Like an STD of the human race. I don't hate Jews but goddamnitt they are a pain in the ass.
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2004-09-13 10:24:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:03:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Professor, it's just that, at the end of "Passion of the Christ" it shows the pharisees crying over being stupid fuckheads, right. So I'm just wondering, after a moment of thought, did they start to worship Jesus? ARE the Jews of today heathens?
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You realize that movie is just a theatrical interpretation of the suffering of Jesus Christ, not actually factual. No one actually writes about the stuff that happens when and if he is tortured. You are a moron Foolmang. I don't -2 everything you've written I remember once a long time ago you wrote something I actually liked and I gave it a +2 but now you just write shit so I -2 it, because that's what it is shit.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-09-13 10:00:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for professorfuckface's comment.
C'mon JewMang. Stop being such a party-pooper, put your Yarmulka on, and let's go to the synagogue.
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2004-09-13 08:02:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:42:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Life is a big mystery. But, in my opinion, heaven should exist and hell shouldn't. Hell is just eternal pain 100% forever. In most human justice systems, there IS an end to a sentence, even a long one. Nobody deserves Hell, not even Hitler. If Hell was built on the sentence system, then maybe Hitler would spend a few years there, but then go to heaven. If Hell doesn't exist, I guess I would go and chat it up with him, because he'd be a completely different person.
+2 for that.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Auto Jewhate -2.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The synagogue I went into was pretty decent. I forgot to bring a cap so they made me wear a Jew-hat. They don't have a hierarchy like the Catholic Church, so it isn't like the Rabbis are trying to get promoted or anything, because there are no promotions. I remember they said a family pays a contribution of about a thousand dollars a year for their seats. The one I was in women had to sit up in the stands away from the men. The rabbi there said if the Jew patrons are offended by it they can go to another synagogue where there is no segregation. The only thing I didn't understand was that the rabbi was bald, but wore that little jew-hat. Somebody asked him how it stays fixed to the back of his head, he said: "Oh, it has a clip on it." WTF? What does the clip clip onto?
Submitted by Tuesday <No> at 2004-09-13 06:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wouldn't watch anything with Mel Gobshite Gibson in.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:44:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:37:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
1) What Gods do they worship? I bet the answer won't surprise me, for I'll have never heard of them.
Please tell me that was a joke.
**********
I'm the guy on this site who hates Jews the most. Do you think I'd have any idea what they do behind synagogue walls, apart from cutting baby dicks up, and playing Monopoly?
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:42:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Life is a big mystery. But, in my opinion, heaven should exist and hell shouldn't. Hell is just eternal pain 100% forever. In most human justice systems, there IS an end to a sentence, even a long one. Nobody deserves Hell, not even Hitler. If Hell was built on the sentence system, then maybe Hitler would spend a few years there, but then go to heaven. If Hell doesn't exist, I guess I would go and chat it up with him, because he'd be a completely different person.
I was brainwashed by the church as a child, unfortunately, so I still believe in the moral issues of my actions to a small degree. For example, if I was to register a new account, post child porn (from a library computer) and laugh my ass off, would I go to Hell for it? Definitely.
You said about heaven being used to keep people in line. What about those who KNOW they are fucked, and are doomed to burn in hell? If it wasn't for "Jesus will save you if you accept him into your heart" bullshit, we'd have a lot more murders from former Christians these days.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:40:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait a second, I thought that Jews believed that there is a place after death where your soul goes, not exactly a HEAVEN but a place where the Jews will live with God.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1) What Gods do they worship? I bet the answer won't surprise me, for I'll have never heard of them.
Please tell me that was a joke.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe from a Christian's point of view. I remember when I went to a synagogue in highschool the Rabbi told us that Jews don't believe in heaven. Not sure if this is true, but if it is it sounds good. I could never take any religion that says there is a heaven seriously. The problem with heaven is that it is an empty promise, but at the same time it inhibits the lives and actions of the people who believe in it. So instead of giving another life, in heaven, all it delivers is half the original life. Then you have fucking Arabs blowing up schoolchildren because they believe they will be rewarded in heaven. Heaven was invented for the sole purpose of keeping peasants in line.
Stem cell research, abortion, meat-eating. To somebody who doesn't believe in heaven, the moral question involved in these issues disappears. I was raised a Catholic, and I can't stand it anymore. I won't go inside a church. So as an outsider, I would have to say that the Jewish religion seems a lot more reasonable than Christianity. I don't know about the stereotypes, the few Jews I have met don't fit that mould, the same with the black people I know.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd love to eat some curry, then go to a place where a circumcision is being performed by Jews, and crap my diarrhea all over the cutter's hands. That would be so great!
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:15:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So you ARE saying that the Jews are heathens, correct?
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I could make a movie about WWII and have Hitler crying over all the people he killed at the end. Mel Gibson can put whatever he wants in his movies. It is impossible to tell what happened back then, if anything happened at all, either way, if the Jews did kill him like the movie shows, why would they suddenly be remorseful? That doesn't sound like Jew-like behavior to me.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Professor, it's just that, at the end of "Passion of the Christ" it shows the pharisees crying over being stupid fuckheads, right. So I'm just wondering, after a moment of thought, did they start to worship Jesus? ARE the Jews of today heathens?
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I understand that JewMang is a good name to call me, but why can't you be a little bit more original and make it JewlMang?
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 05:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Avals, someone once said that the Koran states that EVERY Muslim should fight the infidels. So what I mean by jihad is when EVERY muslim decides to fuck shit up.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-09-13 05:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know if you are joking about wondering what gods they believe in. If you are wondering what they believe in, go get a bible, and look in the part that says 'old testament'. Also, the Jews that were 'saved' by Jesus weren't Jews, they were Christians. If you are wondering how the Jews felt about Jesus, it was probably similar to how Christians feel about L. Ron Hubbard.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-09-13 05:55:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Eh, at first I was amused by the -2 wars going on, but it's really getting ridiculous. They don't even come up with good insults anymore.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-09-13 05:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OK ... JewMang.
Oh, and Jihad has already broken out, if you haven't noticed.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 05:50:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
But Method, if the jihad breaks out and the Jews end up being killed...I guess I won't be!
Also I didn't really try on this post, or any post in the past. It seems some spamming idiots (Shit_flinging_ape, and hcp28 to name a couple) will -2 it no matter what because it fills the empty void in their lives. Why try? It's what they want!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-09-13 05:47:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope you're reincarnated as a Jew.