My mother is dying. (1054 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by GassyGirl73 (View user info) at 2004-09-13 14:49:13 EDT
My mother is in the hospital with an enlarged heart. She is 46 years old.
I haven't seen or talked to her in 10 years.
My mother was born to a very poor family. Her mother was the town whore (depressing, but true). She had two siblings, all three of them bastards each with a different father - or donor I guess. Her life was strife filled. She was the oldest child and therefore took on the household reponsiblities at a very young age. Cooking, cleaning, raising her brother and sister. They were very poor so she had a hard time in school also. Always being picked on and ridiculed because of her mother, her clothes, her house.
She and her siblings were blessed with intelligence and good looks though. So by high school my mother was a beauty. Her town was a very small one, so all of the boys knew who she was. My father was a good looking wrestler and football player. He pursued my mom until he won her over. She was very stand offish because of her raising. Her mother was a whore and an abuser and rarely around, so she trusted no-one.
My father was from a wealthy family that lived on the good side of town. They fell in love in high school. My mother was pregnant at 17 years old and my older brother was born to a married set of teenagers. Although not prepared for their life change - they did what society called for. My father joined the military and off he went.
I was born not long after. When my father came home from the Phillipines, I was 2 years old. He had an affair over seas that fathered two children with another woman. My mother found out and lost it. She began drinking heavily.
Her brother at that time was the town alcoholic/drug addict male prostitute and her sister a first rate whore.
She fell into a deep depression and disappeared. My brother and I nestled safely in my wealthy grand-parents home. We were raised with that family, some of the best times of my life, for about 6 years. My real father got remarried and had three boys with his new wife. He quickly forgot about his first born.
My mother met another man and fell in love. She regrouped and recuperated. We moved in with her and her new husband. Life was good - for awhile. The functions started back up and the drinking followed. Depression soon reared its ugly head.
It was so hard to understand as a child, you really don't know what is going on. Everything is happy. Even when bad things are happening, it all seems okay. You just watch TV or fight with your brother.
My mother kicked my brother out when he was 15 yrs old. She hated him.
My mother kicked me out when I was 16 years old. She hated me.
I haven't seen my brother in 14 years (I was 13 when he got the boot), I don't know what happened to my step father. My mother disappeared. I would keep watch on my old house, drive by at night or ask my friends how the yard looked. One day the house was boarded up and a repossession sign stuck on the front door.
My mother's entire family is gone (passed away) except for her sister. She found my real father's number and called him last night to say my mother requested seeing me and my brother, that she may not make it through tomorrow.
Mixed emotions.
User Reviews
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-14 11:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay benefit of the doubt.
Soz.
P.S Loren, getting laid is not one of my difficulties.
Always up for more offers though!!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-09-14 11:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-09-14 10:13:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
A friend of mine's mother is a LPN at the hospital downtown that my mother is in. She is going by to check on her this afternoon.
Once I hear from her, I will probably go down there tonight when I get off work.
I'll let you know what happens.
And by the way, the advice here definately swayed my vote. I was originally in the "fuck her" stage. But life is just not about that (unless its apollo88).
________________________________________________________________
Please let us know how everything goes.
Some of us actually do care.
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-09-14 10:13:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A friend of mine's mother is a LPN at the hospital downtown that my mother is in. She is going by to check on her this afternoon.
Once I hear from her, I will probably go down there tonight when I get off work.
I'll let you know what happens.
And by the way, the advice here definately swayed my vote. I was originally in the "fuck her" stage. But life is just not about that (unless its apollo88).
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-09-14 10:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Only YOU know what to do
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-14 10:06:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Apollo is a bitter, friendles, ignorant and extremely gay individual. Ignore him, just like evryone has in his entire, pathetic life.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-09-14 10:02:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Holy crap, Apollo, what's up? You are the moodiest dude on Uber.
It's apparant you need to get laid. Wish I could be of service, alas, that pesky distance thing.
With that said, you should definitely go see your mother and at the same time, try to find a way for any kind of relationship with your brother, even if it's just phone calls or emails to stay in touch. It's not fair that you were torn apart.
I'd like to hear the outcome of all of this.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-09-14 09:59:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go see her. She has a day to work all the issues of her life out. You have a lifetime ahead of you to recover from this.
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-09-14 09:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuckola? You are a fucked up individual -
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-14 04:31:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't believe you.
All you have written is shite, desperation for a positive score has set in and this comes into your mind.
Attention whore.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-14 04:21:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You should offer to swap places.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-14 00:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Is it just me, or do all of the women in this forum have major trauma going on in their lives pretty much 24/7?
Submitted by Smithstudd (user info) at 2004-09-13 23:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shes a worthless waste of skin......Do no give her the satisfaction,let the bitch die alone and unloved,for is that not how she left you......
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-13 18:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
anf you are telling us?
Submitted by Lucifer <ceo.at.hell.com> at 2004-09-13 17:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You know what that means? You're next.
Do not worry. We'll wait for you.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-13 17:53:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Forgive her. If you don't, you'll be the one carrying around hateful feelings for the rest of your life. Go see her. Any closure is better than none. Good luck.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2004-09-13 17:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This fucking therapy session is sickening.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2004-09-13 16:54:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't give this anything higher that a zero, because this is not the kicker of all ass, nor did it make me smile. My take on this and it may have been stated (I didn't bother to read all of the reviews) is as follows:
Do you feel that you have turned out OK? I mean in your opinion, do you lead a life that you are not ashamed of? Do you have many regrets? Do you want one more regret to throw on the heap?
Go and see your mother. Her time is very limited and even though she may not have been there for you, you can sway some of the badness that has been done onto her, and possibly move towards forgiveness. She had a shitty run and made some bad choices. Sometimes that happens to people.
You have the opportunity to sway that. She may ask your forgiveness, so that she can leave this world clear of guilt. I make no statement that she deserves that. That is the decision at hand.
I am not a religious man. I am spiritual, but I do not believe in heaven or hell. I do believe that people are inherently good at heart. Give her the opportunity to mend the wounds she set out upon her children - at least you. You don't want to wake a day, a week, or ten years from now and have this burden set on you.
I hope that this helped in some way. Please email me if I can help in any other way. I hope that everything works for the best, even if you have a little gas. <trying to make you smile>
terrysterling21.at.hotmail.com
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-13 16:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
See her. Forgive her. She may be your mother but she is also a person. A
person who is far from perfect. Let her have her chance to say goodbye and
you'll have your chance. You'll be a better person for it.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-09-13 16:04:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Fuck her, seriously, just to hell with her. I know this sounds harsh. They have always said, if you want to see how a girl looks in 20 year, look at her mom. You don't know her, and don't need to waste your time getting to know her.
Submitted by vodka7tall (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Definitely go and see her. Although it may be painful, at the very least you'll get some closure on a difficult childhood. If you don't, you may regret it for the rest of your life. You've had enough heartache for 10 lifetimes, you don't need to add this kind of regret on top of it.
Good luck.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-13 15:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Go see her. Its better than regretting not seeing her after it is too late. She may want to apologize for what she did to you. She may want to know that you are OK. She wants to see you. If it goes badly, then she is dying anyway and you can find peace in the fact that she can't hurt you anymore. If it goes well, you will cherish the memory long after she is gone.
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should go see her no matter what. She deserves to have the joy of seeing how well you turned out.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hurry up an get a life insurance policy.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:21:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
I do feel like part of me wants to see her. But I've suppressed for so long I don't know how it will effect my mental health. Not being funny - I know I won't go crazy, but I'm sure it could cause me some pain.
I do not want her to die without feeling relief. She did have a very hard life. She really did.
She made mine hard too though, I was sleeping on floors for a few years there. Its not easy to cry and know there will be no-one to comfort you.
____________________________________________________________
It will cause you pain, but you aren't the only person who ever felt that way.
Do you like who you are as a person?
If the answer is yes, then all that suffering you endured was not in vain. It made you who you are. You seem like a sweet girl, considering the fact that most people who went through what you did would not want anything to do with their mother.
The only thing I fear is that you may make up your mind too late. That pain will be worse than if you go to see her.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:22:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Go see her.
Maybe she married rich or hit the lottery.
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:21:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I do feel like part of me wants to see her. But I've suppressed for so long I don't know how it will effect my mental health. Not being funny - I know I won't go crazy, but I'm sure it could cause me some pain.
I do not want her to die without feeling relief. She did have a very hard life. She really did.
She made mine hard too though, I was sleeping on floors for a few years there. Its not easy to cry and know there will be no-one to comfort you.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:17:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:09:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
I would just think about what you want to do, not what you have to do.
Just remember, there are no second chances.
-------------------
I agree...sure she doesn't deserve it, but this is your own mother. If you wait until it's too late, there may be a day down the road that you regret not seeing her when you had the chance. Still, there's no way for me to know exactly how you feel and what you've been through, so the choice is yours alone. I'm sorry it has to be such a tough one.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good luck with whatever path you choose
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:10:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, I have some advice:
It looks like you've turned out pretty good (considering your past.) I say you make good on that. Do whatever you feel is necessary, but keep in mind that despite being brought fairly rough you've basically made yourself into who you are.
My thoughts are with you, I'm sure you'll do what's right.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:09:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would just think about what you want to do, not what you have to do.
Just remember, there are no second chances.
I'm thinking that you want to see her from the tone of your post. If that's what you want, don't worry about all the bads things that happened, or what people will think or anything else. Just go to see her and let your mind be at ease, and I'm sure that hers would be at ease as well.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:05:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks!
But seriously..... FUCK HER!
Who needs that shit on their brain right ?
Good luck with it, and whe all else fails eat a cheese sanwich
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:00:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If any advice would be best - I guess it would come from God and Hell!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If this is true... you are better off without that bullshit. She reaped, she sowed, the end.
Best of luck working through this though. I've gone through similar feelings about a family member, and it's never easy.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-09-13 14:58:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HOLY FUCKOLA !!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-09-13 14:57:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sob, sob, sob. Quit bitching about how rough it is and enjoy life, it will be gone by next week. Try to focus on what's good in your life instead of your white-trash background. Think about how delicious Italian food is, or how much fun it is to go to Six Flags with your lesbain counterpart.
Life is great Gassy! Enjoy it!
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-09-13 14:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck with your choice. My thoughts are with you.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-09-13 14:53:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What a wrenching story. I wouldnt waste the bus fair to go see her, but who am i dear abby?