In response to Shlongy: "It was around midnight...” Continued. (889 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.71 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2004-09-13 15:23:21 EDT
"It was around midnight...maybe closer to 1am. We were still out on River Street, carrying our "to go" cups full of Glen Livet, as we walked and listened to a street musicians' rendition of "Dancin' in the Moonlight" by King Harvest. Here's where it got weird."
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44853
There were clusters of people in twos and threes up and down the street, everyone having a good time, everyone with a drink in their hand. No fights, no ill will. Even the Savannah PD beat cops wandering the street were wearing mellow grins, because they were getting easy overtime.
This was a rare night. The October air was crisp, not cold. Behind the sounds of King Harvest was the distant oompah-oompah of a German band. It was Oktoberfest after all, so the sound of Teutonic tubas wasn't as out of place as you would think in a Southern town.
I looked to my left. There was a guy standing half in shadow, behind the street-party crowd. He was completely naked and sporting a hard-on that would put most guys to shame, including me. I blinked and rubbed my eyes. A lonely bell clanged somewhere out on the river. When I looked again the guy was gone.
I wondered if I'd had too much to drink, but I wasn't going to pass up twelve-year old scotch. I sipped the single malt and let it warm me from the inside out. Jilly took a taste, made a little face, and forced a smile for me. Her tastes were a little cheaper than mine, when it came to booze, anyway.
It felt good to be here with her. A lot of my friends who had known Jilly since we all went to high school together called her 'Chilly' behind her back. I think she grew up in an ugly environment. I saw her dad once at a parent-teacher meeting. A big guy with a massive gut, wearing a sweat-stained shirt and mopping his neck with a handkerchief. He started hollering and stormed out of the school. The whole thing was weird, since Jilly always got straight A's.
Jilly was pretty, and had a lot of class, even back in the ninth grade, when I first saw her. There was something so... lady-like about her, the way she walked and dressed and the way she did her make-up. But some of her tastes gave away her upbringing. She wore clothes like she should be modeling them in a magazine. Not Victoria's Secret stuff, although she had a terrific, slender figure, but one of those upscale women's clothiers. Don't ask me to name any, though.
I heard a sound like a dog lapping up water and looked behind me. A girl with wild eyes was licked and biting at her man's ear, the breathy, smacking sounds disturbingly loud. He looked annoyed and leaned away from her. She frowned and then grabbed his head in both hands, going for the ear again. Fucking weird. I turned back to Jilly.
Anyhow, long story short, Jilly had a Grace Kelly thing going on, beautiful, but a little icy. Most people wouldn't know that she did the maintenance on my car, that she pigged out on Kraft macaroni and cheese once a month to satisfy a constant craving, and that she liked nothing more than kicking back on the couch for a DVD sitcom marathon, while knocking back Buds. Piss-water, yeah, but she could go through a dozen or more on a Saturday night and look as fresh as a just-plucked daisy on Sunday morning.
When I was in my teens Jilly was never the kind of girl I would think about while jerking off, but she is the one I remembered most in later years, long after memories of the girls with nice tits and asses had faded away.
She was a widow. Automobile crash. I was divorced. Personality clash. We met a year ago, both of us in our late thirties. Something clicked. We worked well together.
Jilly shivered. "Cold?" I took off my windbreaker and slipped it over her shoulders.
"Thanks," she whispered. "As your reward, you can finish this for me."
Jilly poured the rest of her scotch into my cup. I wasn't about to complain.
I put my arm around her and she stiffened an almost violent reaction. I was wondering what it was I had just done wrong when I realized she was staring at something. She raised one trembling finger and pointed.
Standing under a streetlamp was an older guy in a business suit. At his feet was a briefcase. His mouth was open, and blood was pouring out of it, soaking his shirt. In one hand was a knife. In the other, was his tongue.
Jilly screamed, and at the same time I heard a few other screams throughout the drifting crowd. I heard a pained cry, almost like a bark, and saw the guy who had been getting his ear washed holding the side of his head. His girl was smiling up at him and chewing.
Two cops ran by us, one of them nearly knocking me down. There were more screams. The businessman finished up with the knife. He stuck his severed tongue on the blade and waved it at us, mumbling and gargling on the blood that continued to spill out of his mouth.
There were gunshots. Grunts and screams. And suddenly people were running every which-way. People started assaulting each other, random, violent attacks. Hard-on man raced by us, chasing two teenage girls who looked like twins. A woman in a pink skirt broke a beer bottle over some guy's head, and even as he was falling she was hiking up her skirt. The moment he hit the street she squatted over him and began to piss. One of the cops shuffled by in a tight-assed walk, as if he was trying not to shit himself. In each hand he had a dead cat by the tail. He was leaving dark red footprints behind him. The ass of his uniform and the back of his pant legs were dark and slick as if he were shitting blood.
"We've got to get the hell out of here," I said. I tried to take Jilly's hand but she pulled away.
"Wait," she said. She looked dazed. She reached into her purse and said, "I have something for you."
Jilly held out her hand.
"Oh Christ," I said.
--
To be continued. Or not. You make the call.
User Reviews
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-31 13:31:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Supreme Overlord damage repair...
Submitted by Supreme_Overlord (user info) at 2005-07-21 22:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shite
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-01-23 06:33:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet, and I'm glad I found this when the other two were already written..
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-13 19:48:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I'll have you all know that Penske is very interested in me.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-09-13 17:42:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. Things really DID get weird, and I'm not just talking about the fact that someone collaborated with Shlongy on something. Great post.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-09-13 16:55:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-13 16:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, let's not get carried away here, kids...I DID write the first two lines, after all.
This is outfuckingstanding.
I don't care what I said about you in prior posts, Jack.
Probably only slightly more than half of it was true.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2004-09-13 16:35:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-09-13 16:26:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:27:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
TELL ME ABOUT THE FUCKING GOLF SHOES!
-----------------------
As your attorney, I advise you to rent a very fast car with no top.
___________________________________
Can't stop here, this is bat country. Would you like some ether?
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2004-09-13 16:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So much better. Go with it. Shlongy, I have given you a +2 for something that you couldn't finish. Next time, try man. You sound very intelligent when you do.
Jack, please continue. I need resolution. I need closure. I need to know what Jilly is going to give him/you.
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-09-13 16:26:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:27:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
TELL ME ABOUT THE FUCKING GOLF SHOES!
-----------------------
As your attorney, I advise you to rent a very fast car with no top.
Submitted by lrw (user info) at 2004-09-13 16:12:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
continue, please.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Okay now we're even :)
I shall give you no more -2's.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:35:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent job of keeping our uber-environment clean by recycling a shit post.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't continue, you will only start a series of stories that no one will respect or read. Stick to polls about which celebrity dog has the biggest penis for real stardom.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:31:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you see this Schlongy? This is how to write a good post.
Steal someone else's idea and run with it!
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
TELL ME ABOUT THE FUCKING GOLF SHOES!
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
whoooaaaaaaa! this is going to be goooood.
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-09-13 15:26:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue Continue.