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Trouble In Paradise (498 hits)

Category: UberMadness! Entry

Rating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
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Submitted by russizm (View user info) at 2004-09-13 16:09:42 EDT


This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.


"What was so perfect about them?"

I stared down at the ground and sighed. A decade ago he was supposed to be my ticket out, but now it's just a yearly retreat.

"Wife, kids... everything, perfect. It was like, everything was so good that it made me sick to my stomach. I needed that extra element in my life to shake things up once in a while. It was never exciting; it feels exactly like this, the same fucking thing over and over again. We would fuck different ways, but something more than that needed to change. I needed to do something so drastic that it would change my life forever. I didn't care about the consequences, so I got rid of 'em."

I don't know why he wrote notes as I spoke, I always said the same shit. I didn't ask questions about it anymore, I knew the drill. An hour session every year, discussing the same thing that got me here.

"Got rid of 'em?" His monotone voice irked me.

"Wife had to go down first, she didn't need to know her kids were going to die. It was so sloppy, I really wish I had known how long it really takes to choke someone. It's not as easy as it looks on TV. After all that fuss was over... the kids were cake. With their hands and feet bound, the pillow providing them with comfort every night was a suitable weapon."

"The story you tell about that night changes every day.. so... What did you feel like afterwards? Guilt? Happiness? Anything?"

"It was an eerie feeling of satisfaction. I wasn't the college graduate stuck in his parents' basement for the rest of his life. I had the balls to change something in my life that I didn't like. I thought about all the books that would be written about me, and the cheesy made for TV movies. I kept thinking about the titles, "From Good to Bad", "Trouble in Paradise, and "The Quest for Perfection". I knew it was demented, but I killed them all. So many people in the same situation died unhappy. I won't die an unhappy man, I'll die knowing that I didn't like something in my life and I changed it. I didn't wait for it to change, I did it my fucking self. And when I get my paro--"

I don't like being interrupted.

"There is no parole, no kids, and NO FUCKING WIFE!" The words that escaped his mouth enraged me. I stood up and started to swing my fists at him, but nothing happened. I looked down at my arms and found that they were crossed and bound to my body by a jacket. I jumped around frantically and wondered wear my orange jump suit was.

He pushed me down into the padded corner and continued to scream. "Listen, kid! You're a pathetic piece of shit that created his own reality to escape all your petty problems."

I shook my head in denial. "FUCK YOU!" was all I could muster up. I put my ear on the wall to block him out.

"Look around boy! I come in here every day and go through this bullshit. You're in an institution! People come here when they're crazy! YOU'RE CRAZY!"

I already stopped hearing him. I closed my eyes and drifted away.

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Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-16 12:37:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

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Marge: This is the best gift of all, Homer.

Homer: It is?

Marge: Yes, something to share our love. And frighten prowlers.

Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire