Man In The Mirror (749 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by jessica the super <princess_jessica16.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-09-13 20:08:21 EDT
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
Chad woke up Monday morning, refreshed and happy. He was ready to go to his second day of work at Burger King. He dressed himself with care, a rush of pride and a glowing feeling overcame him as he put on his crisp, clean uniform.
'Maybe I should change into my suave uniform at Burger King?' he contemplated. Chad didn't want it to get sweaty and smelly from his long bike ride to work. But he couldn't bear to take it off. He was too proud. At least the ride was downhill, so he wouldn't have to work too hard getting there.
Before Chad left, he critically surveyed his appearance. The man in the mirror that stared back at him was magnificent and splendid. A real professional. He glanced at his watch. 'Time to go,' Chad thought, 'and I better hustle. Don't want to be late!' At the age of 28, this was Chad's first job. He was prouder than anything to finally be given the opportunity to work. Because Chad had a slight mental defect, he had a difficult time finding an employer who would hire him.
Chad strapped his helmet on tight and took off towards his fast food haven. 'What a perfect day,' Chad thought happily to himself. The sun was shining softly, the sweet cool breeze blowing gently. The birds' melodious twittering delicately filled the silence. The glowing sensation in the pit of Chad's stomach kept spreading. After a few minutes, Chad wasn't feeling very well. 'It's just nerves' he told himself. He focused on what a lovely day it was, but the feeling didn't go away. A sharp pinching feeling stabbed at his soul and Chad knew.
He had to go to the washroom. Badly.
Chad kept pedaling more and more intensely as the seconds ticked by. If he went out of his way to stop somewhere, he would surely be late. Sweat trickled down his forehead and back. The pleasant warmness of the sun suddenly became a scorching inferno, the gentle breeze a blistering wind. The incessant screeching of the birds beat into his brain, grating against his nerves. At the very moment Chad thought he would go mad, salvation appeared! The bright red roof of the Burger King glimmered in sight.
Faster than ludicrous speed, Chad arrived at his place of refuge. He could envision himself rushing into the bathroom, the cool hard plastic of the toilet caressing his entire being. Hopping off the bike, Chad struggled between the decision to lock his bike or not. Locking it would take time. Time he didn't have. But alas! The break in Chad's concentration was too great.
Chad crapped his pants. Relief made his knees weak and he almost collapsed. The guilt and shame didn't arrive until he finished. 'What to do? What to do?' he fretted. Making an executive decision, Chad got back on the bike and rode home with a fresh, smelly, steaming load in the back of his pants, struggling uphill the entire way home.
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-08-13 10:26:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2006-11-15 09:07:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet your pretty :)
Submitted by Azk (user info) at 2006-01-09 19:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF! Good anyway! WOW! I love exclamation Marks! Your Great! YAY
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-08-05 11:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was pretty good. I was considering just giving this a +1, but who am I to break a perfect rating?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-05-18 07:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-16 12:37:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment