Deep Water Dreams - 8 (1006 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 2 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SilvrWolf (View user info) at 2004-09-14 02:24:23 EDT
<I've fallen behind on this in anticipation of UberMadness, but finally got rid of the block. This chapter returns to the pier with Karen and Jennifer. If you like, you should revisit part 5 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/43593 - to refresh your memory since it was three installments ago.>
Others in this series:
Part 1 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/41854 --|-- Part 5 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/43593
Part 2 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/41987 --|-- Part 6 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/43668
Part 3 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/42645 --|-- Part 7 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/43919
Part 4 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/43424 --|-- Part 8 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/44057
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A barely audible cry of fright escaped Karen's lips when she saw Kelly, but no one noticed over the roar of the storm. Jennifer grabbed Karen by the arm and together they approached her. Karen nearly retched when the smell hit her; a strong ammonia scent assaulted Karen's nostrils. It burned her eyes and this moment even deeper into her memories.
The single street light on the end of the pier struggled to fight off the combined might of the night and the storm. Karen could barely make out Kelly's face even though they were two feet apart. Another flash of lightning ripped across the sky, and Karen saw the clear details of her face.
If it wasn't for those unique deep blue-green eyes, she would never believe this was Kelly. The ashen face was drawn taut over her skull. A few wispy strands of grey hair lay matted against her head. She looked to be at least 40 years older than Karen; an old woman, but the eyes were the most definite giveaway. Karen had hated Kelly for those beautiful eyes. It was ridiculous high school trivial jealousy, but the hatred grew and festered regardless. Even now, in this moment of awe and terror, Karen still hated those eyes.
Karen looked at her best friend, bewildered, "Jenn, what the hell is this?"
Jennifer spoke over the howling wind, "She's been with me for all these years, Kare. I take care of her, and she serves me in return. She was chosen, as we all were, to serve in this realm."
Karen's frustration was growing, "Jenn! What are you talking about? You keep talking about those stupid ceremonies. I thought we all grew out of that witchcraft and parallel dimension bullshit. We created an entire fantasy world, an entire religion, from that one crystal we found on the beach that day. It was prepubescent teenage imagination; it wasn't real!"
"Look in front of you, Karen," Jennifer was starting to get upset, "after all you have seen today, how could you still doubt me? I'm telling you that what we stumbled upon was more than real; more than imagination. You have no idea just how special we are. The crystal helped me find the key to our world. Anything we wish to make a reality is within our power at any time. Look, just ask Kelly. She has already seen what you must see."
After a moment of bewilderment at the complete lack of emotion from her best friend, Karen's eyes turned back to the frail person straining to stand against the storm. Kelly's eyes revealed a tortured soul. She was lost inside herself and unable to find the way out. Karen had seen that same look before; it was in the eyes of nursing home patients trapped in the hellish nightmares of dementia. The devastation that is Alzheimer's ravages once fruitful minds, and Kelly possessed the identical stranded and confused look.
Karen reached her hand out as she spoke to her, "Kelly, I know you're scared right now, but I'm going to help you. Let's get you out of this storm."
Her medical and geriatric training had taken over like instinct, as it should. Kelly recoiled slightly from Karen's outstretched hand, and a low, tormented groan came from her unopened lips. A sudden gust of wind ripped the raincoat open, revealing grey, pruned skin desiccating over a frail frame. Her emaciated spindly legs looked barely capable of supporting the gaunt body that rested upon them.
Karen glared at Jennifer, "What did you do to her, keep her locked in your basement? Is she even alive?"
Jennifer swelled with pride, "She is alive. I merely gave her back what you took away from her. Or did you forget that you were the one that killed her? She can't return to the town that forgot she even exists, so she serves me.
"We're running out of time, Karen. If there's anything you want to say to her, now is the time. There is much work to be done, and you still have to come home."
The growing rage inside Karen was threatening to explode. This was not her best friend. This couldn't be the girl that had shared so much love and passion with her. She was convinced that Jennifer Shockley had been replaced with something inhuman. The person she once knew, the girl who would shoo spiders from her house instead of squashing them, was now a callous, sadistic soul.
Being a nurse, she just couldn't understand how Jennifer could do this to another human being, yet she had once been capable of taking the life of another, too. She had learned in her life that all things change, even people. The irony crashed into her soul and burst the dam holding back her anger.
"Damn you," she screamed, "this isn't going to happen the way you want, Jennifer! I can't allow you to torture anyone else. You can kiss my ass! And I'm going to make sure you can't hurt Kelly anymore! Just who the hell are you?"
The tempest had reached its peak and the wind now dashed in from all directions. The rain poured off their heads and down their bodies in steady streams, only to be torn back into the night by the storm once again when they fell free. Lightning tore across the sky and forked into the surface of the sea. The thunder followed nearly instantly and once again the pier shuddered beneath the three girls.
Karen spun around and reached her hand toward Kelly. Jennifer tried to stop her, but couldn't grab her in time. A terrifying, unearthly scream pierced the rumbling thunder and heavy storm. The raincoat crumbled into dust beneath her fingers and the skin underneath sloughed away like a mudslide in her hand. Hundreds of half-inch long, fang-like spines slashed away at the Karen's palm and fingers.
The shrieking continued as Kelly collapsed to the surface of the pier, writhing in agony. The skin continued to liquefy away, forming a foul-smelling puddle across the rain-soaked boards. A shuddering insectoid mass of grey-red mottled skin and bristling spines was all that remained of this girl she had just looked in the eyes. Like learning to walk on its crab-like legs for the first time, it stumbled back and forth a few times and collapsed. Then, as if receiving orders, it snapped upright, and dashed off the boardwalk into the sea, still piercing the stormy darkness with its unholy scream.
Karen collapsed to her knees, holding her shredded hand tightly. The blood mixed with the rain, forming a glowing pink river flowing down to her elbow. Everything she saw was starting to have brilliant, shimmering outlines as her head began to swim in a slow, downward spiral. She could barely comprehend Jennifer's calm voice echoing in her head as she collapsed to the pier.
"You've been poisoned, baby. I'll take care of you, though; just rest now. While you sleep and recover, you'll finally get the answers you've been seeking..."
Karen's eyes rolled back into her head and she convulsed violently as her world faded from a neon rainbow to black silence.
User Reviews
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-12-12 14:33:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-06-02 10:13:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As promised, I have continued to read onward in this series so that I might leave most thought-provocative comments, to assist in... provoking your... thoughts.
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Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-09-14 02:53:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Continues to be the best series on this site. Looking forward to the next one. 9 or 10 or whatever.
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I take offense to that. You obviously haven't read the "Hearken" series. Or Big Mike's "Diaries of a Madman", for that matter. Or JMG's "J Date" escapades.
Not that any of them are particularly better than DWD per sé... but I'd like to pretend that they're at least on par with it.
I mean, seriously. Cut the rest of us some slack. Even if we can't all be SilvrWolf-quality authors, you don't have to rub our nose in it. =D
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Reading the following line--
"Karen nearly retched when the smell hit her; a strong ammonia scent assaulted Karen's nostrils."
made me think of the movie, Anchorman. (But seriously, everything makes me think of the movie Anchorman. I've only seen it like sixty-seven thousand times... this month.)
Ron: "What cologne are you gonna go with? London Gentlemen, or-- wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight."
Brian: "No, she gets a special cologne. It's called Sex Panther, by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries. Yep, it's made with bits of real panther. So you know it's good."
Ron: "It's quite pungent."
Brian: "Oh yeah."
Ron: "Ooh, it's a... formidable scent. It stings the nostrils-- in a good way."
Brian: "Yeah."
Ron: "Brian, I'm going to be honest with you. That smells like... pure gasoline."
And of course...
"What smells like a turd covered in burnt hair?"
"It smells like-- augh, like Bigfoot's dick!"
http://www.moviewavs.com/0056218974/WAVS/Movies/Anchorman_The_Legend_Of_Ron_Burgundy/whatcologne.wav
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Excellent work, by the by. Very deep and thought-provoking, with a Stephen King-esque tone near the end.
Some notes: "She has already seen what you must see" was a tad cliché. What's more, you've spelled "liquify" in a way that, while correct by lexicological standards, made my testicles sad and my scrotal hair curl ever-so-slightly. (Do please also note that "lexicological" is now the Word of the Day. Should anyone inadvertently make use of it at any time, be sure to make as much noise and hullabaloo as is humanly possible.) And what really chaps my lemon merengues is that- as you have rightly made mention of and apologized for- you have egregiously neglected the number nine from your series, which I find particularly offensive as my mother was born on the ninth day of a month.
But anyways, great writing, mistakes aside. Nobody's perfect after all. Outside of Tyler Durden and Alexander deLarge, of course.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-17 16:41:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-02-17 16:23:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-10-10 18:01:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. I read this while listening to Lacuna Coil and it was a perfect match. If this gets made into a movie you should get them to do the soundtrack.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-15 22:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-15 22:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the best written of the series so far. The description is framed in more of a refined style. Getting closer to the ultimate form of writing in which every word has a purpose, sentences condensed to create vivid metaphors while maintaining and serving the storyline. A+ work! I will continue reading if you promise to continue writing.
By the Way, don't know if I told you - your cds are in the mail. :)
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2004-09-14 12:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
whew, i was starting to get scared that it wasnt gonna continue
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-09-14 12:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good to see this series again.
Submitted by lrw (user info) at 2004-09-14 09:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
beep.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-09-14 09:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read this one yet either, but I am just letting you know that I am watching! Keep it up and get to the final so I can read them all. :o)
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-09-14 02:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Continues to be the best series on this site. Looking forward to the next one. 9 or 10 or whatever.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-09-14 02:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit! This should be Dreams 9, not 8. That's what I get for not sleeping.