Things you should NEVER say. (524 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.56 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <fubar_weasel.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-09-14 12:44:52 EDT
THINGS WOMEN SHOULD NOT SAY ON A FIRST DATE...
10. "Technically, I still love Simon Le Bon."
9. "Will you marry me?"
8. "Cats are more intelligent than men."
7. "I might as well tell you now - I suffer from terrible fanny farts."
6. "I used to be a man."
5. "I was drunk when I got here."
4. "Even the thought of oral sex turns my stomach."
3. "I must've slept with over four hundred men."
2. "I hate my hairy arse. It's so unwomanly."
1. "Shall we get the money out of the way now?"
THINGS MEN SHOULD NOT SAY ON A FIRST DATE...
10) "So, anyway, now the police say I'm not even allowed to keep the guns..."
9) "You should see my bedroom - it's full of Star Trek posters!"
8) "You look just like my mother in law."
7) "Hang on... Ooh! I've got a pubic hair caught under my foreskin."
6) "When you do a poo, do you sometimes go back into the toilet a few minutes afterwards to see if it still smells?"
5) "Do you like Dungeons & Dragons?"
4) "I shave my testicles."
3) "Is it true that women wee out of their bottoms?"
2) "I can name forty types of cheese."
1) "You should see my bedroom - it's full of geese!"
TEN THINGS PROBABLY NOT TO SAY DURING A WEDDING SPEECH IF YOU'RE THE BEST MAN
10. "I am the new flesh!"
9. "I'll kill you all!"
8. "I'm not who you think I am..."
7. "Piss fuck bollocks wank shit fuck fuck fuck fuck
f-f-f-f-fa-fa-fuck-fuck."
6. "The groom probably doesn't remember that time when we were 13 and we tossed each other off in his bathroom, but I certainly do..."
5. "My eyes... they burn!"
4. "I haven't written a speech."
3. "I wish the bride and groom were both dead."
2. "Here are three words you're all familiar with: ugly fat bitch."
1. "The bride probably doesn't remember that time when we were 19 and we tossed each other off in her living room, but I certainly do..."
INAPPROPRIATE THINGS TO SAY AT YOUR CHILD'S TEACHER ON OPEN EVENING
10. "May the Force be with you."
9. "Sorry he's not been at school much this term, but he's been building a new extension for the house as punishment for forgetting to record EastEnders."
8. "Can I draw a pair of tits on the blackboard for old time's sake?"
7. "Do you ever find yourself attracted to the children?"
6. "I mean, it's not a proper job anyway, with all that holiday you get."
5. "If you're going to say he's been doing badly again I'm going."
4. "Hello, fatty."
3. "Fuck me, you're ugly."
2. "Do you like skinny dipping?"
1. "Do you mind if I masturbate while you talk?"
THINGS NOT TO SAY TO THE JUDGE AT YOUR MURDER TRIAL
10. "Is that a wig?"
9. "What murder?"
8. "Yeah, and I'll kill you too."
7. "Wait - did I say guilty?!? Guilty means 'didn't do it', right?"
6. "Hmf. You wouldn't be giving me such a hard time if I was a burglar."
5. "Where did you buy your hammer, your honour? I find you can do a lot more damage with a claw-head hammer... oops."
4. "And then I ate his liver with fava beans and a nice chianti. Only kidding!"
3. "I just did it for a laugh. Where's your sense of humour?"
2. "Twanngggg! Bwaaaaaaang! Bwaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaanggggg!"
1. "Let me go free and I'll tell you about all the other murders I did."
User Reviews
Submitted by Anonymous at 2004-09-14 16:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...It's alright, I guess.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-09-14 15:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Posts You Should Never Write:
1. Things You Should NEVER Say
2. Things You Should NEVER Say
3. Things You Should NEVER Say
4. Things You Should NEVER Say
5. Things You Should NEVER Say
6. Things You Should NEVER Say
7. Things You Should NEVER Say
8. Things You Should NEVER Say
9. Things You Should NEVER Say
and last, but not least:
10. Things You Should NEVER Say
LOLOMGWTFBBQ!!!!!!111111111111!!!!!!
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-09-14 14:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Adolescant wanker humor.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-09-14 14:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Balls!
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-09-14 14:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*YAWN*
Submitted by ardubs (user info) at 2004-09-14 14:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-09-14 13:23:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know, but it just didn't really make me laugh at all. I've heard most of them, and the new ones weren't very funny.
Submitted by pnessa at 2004-09-14 13:01:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
dumb
Submitted by Azriel (user info) at 2004-09-14 12:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good, but it's not jellin'
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2004-09-14 12:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2004-09-14 12:50:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I've read better.