Everyone Wishes They Were Jamaican (1914 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.72 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <quatatoe_king.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-09-14 15:35:07 EDT
It seems like every piece of new so-called "dance" music (I use the term loosely) I hear has some obnoxious asshole with the patois yelling some unintelligible phrase at the beginning of the song. SOmething along the lines of:
"Reas patchoo! Wanna dun kno say we origina san ka! Fa soo elly no wee! Eneh tam we stat dance, dance aff eh lat! He! Falla backa wee! You kno se everyteen panka! Kya cha tenee! We stata dance o nineteen o lie!"
It's fucking ridiculous. You make this music in North America, where teh Jamaican population is, oh I dunno...somewhere close to FUCKING NOTHING, and you make a guy with an accent thick as soup say somethign to the audience? This is like putting Engrish on shirts in Japan.
I have come to the conclusion that having a loud-mouthed allegedly Jamaican MC yelling stuff like "clap ya hands" or "pass the dootchie on de left hand side" or some such cliché, insultingly stereotypical Jamaican phrase during your song does not make it any less annoying or stupid. In fact more so.
The reason people do this is quite simple. To the children of WASPs and yuppies who listen to ass-tacular dance and rap music, ANYTHING A JAMAICAN DOES IS COOL!
"I mean, how could it not be? They ALL have dreadlocks. They have their own religion. They ALL smoke tons of weed...no, no...they call it ganja, right? And Bob Marley and Peter Tosh both cam from there! And the colours red, green, and yellow just GO together, man!"
Fucking hell. Just because somebody is Jamaican doesn't mean they have dreadlocks, or talk like that kid on the Diary of Ludacris: "Mash eet up reel good na (now)!" Jamaican people are just Jamaican. Asking Jamaican or wannabe Jamaican people to say random thing at the start of your already annopying track is patronizing and just unnecessary. It just cheapens what real national identity they have by whoring their accent out to make music sound "cool".
I own a red/green/yellow wristband, but not because the colours are associated with Jamaica. I just think the colours actually DO go together, and they go with all my clothes. I also listen to a bit of Marley. No Woman No Cry is just a great fucking song. But I don't idolize Marley or any other Jamaican person just because they're Jamaican.
And even if I was making a dance track (not that I'd associate myself with such musical diahrrea) I sure as shit wouldn't ask any Jamaican man to say some nonsense at the start just to give me cred' with white prep school kids who listen to this shit all day long.
So a note to white people and jerkoff rappers who get people with the patois to say shit at the start and end of their track: Fucking stop. It doesn't make you sound cool, and it's insulting to people of Jamaican background.
User Reviews
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2004-12-31 09:33:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"It seems like every piece of new so-called "dance" music (I use the term loosely) I hear has some obnoxious asshole with the patois yelling some unintelligible phrase at the beginning of the song. SOmething along the lines of: "
Your first sentence and it's riddled with prejudice:
1) "obnoxious asshole", how do you know he is an asshole or obnoxious, do you form all you conclusions like this? I mean really, you don't know anything and you make casual assumptions, that's not smart.
2) "unintelligible phrase" I understand them, Jamaicans would, as this is their language. Accusing someone's local slang of unintelligibility is a very provincial attitude. Anyway it is probably (see I try to avoid assumptions) only used for it's sound and effect.
"So a note to white people and jerkoff rappers who get people with the patois to say shit at the start and end of their track"
Again obvious ignorance, they don't wheel in a Jamaican to say something unintelligible, they sample an existing record. Did you know anything about "dance music"? You really should before commenting on it.
"To the children of WASPs and yuppies who listen to ass-tacular dance and rap music" , I have news for you, plenty of other people listen to these types of music, stop making assumptions.
Here is an assumption of mine: you are white, under twenty, have long hair, you can't dance, you have been brainwashed into believing that only "real" music is cool and you think that you are cool because you listen to cool music. How correct am I?
I would be very interested in your definition of the word cool and what it means to you.
"And even if I was making a dance track (not that I'd associate myself with such musical diahrrea) I sure as shit wouldn't ask any Jamaican man to say some nonsense at the start just to give me cred' with white prep school kids who listen to this shit all day long."
What if, just for an instance, a Jamaican made a dance track with real instruments and his own voice pon da riddim? Could you tell the difference or would you just assume it was rubbish?
How about you develop several ways of judging music? One way would be on how it was made, another on how it sounds, how the people react to it on the dancefloor and possibly if it fulfils it's purpose.
As for insulting Jamaican people, last month I played a set (I confess I'm a DJ) of the ruffest ragga jungle (170 bpm music consisting of breakbeats, a half speed reggea style bass and liberally peppered with Ragga samples) to a varied British audience consisting of at least 30 people with darker than average skin colour.
There were frenzied screams of joy and most tellingly I could not see the crowd for five darker than average skin coloured gentlemen burning their lighters in front of me out of respect.
I don't buy a record just because it has a Ragga sample on it, I buy records with Ragga samples on them cause they are amongst some of the best.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-28 09:37:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
NURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
Submitted by mxc_jwebber (user info) at 2004-09-28 13:36:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice try Maddox wannabe.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-09-28 13:28:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Spam
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-09-21 12:15:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ass Pirate LINKWHORE
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2004-09-17 16:38:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by AlkalineSolo (user info) at 2004-09-15 17:02:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-09-15 16:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't spam. It's not nice.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-09-15 16:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Spammer
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-09-15 16:03:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Spammer
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-09-15 15:30:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU
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Spamming cunt.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-09-15 15:26:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think most people there are Christian...
Submitted by Schwarzes_Glas (user info) at 2004-09-15 15:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Banana banana!
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-09-15 15:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fucking right.
I heard one of those songs yesterday and I had diahrrea for hours.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-14 22:14:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
sorry, Rastafari = Ras Tafari
Submitted by estupid (user info) at 2004-09-14 16:17:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What did the duck say when she bought some lipstick?
Put it on my bill.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-09-14 16:03:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-14 15:48:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
Haile Selassie Emmanuel I, Rastafari
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Jah Rastafari!
Bob Marley, Bob Marley, Bob-ba-ba-b-b-Bob Marley!
<wicka-wicka-wick-wick-wicka-wick-wick>
Submitted by korthrun (user info) at 2004-09-14 15:57:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's red, gold and green, not yellow.
Nice points though.
Korth
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-09-14 15:53:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I live in south florida and there and everybody here has either a puerto rican or jamacain flag/bumper sticker ect.
I don't have anything against them, OK I do hate puerto ricans but thats another rant. The fact is that they are tinly little fucking islands. Because your great aunt lived there till she was 6 doesn't make you (insert cool ethnic background).
Side note (not intended to be racial) How come blacks only use jamacia and the islands, not ever an african country?
Other than that you rock
Submitted by liquiflux (user info) at 2004-09-14 15:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Haha, it's true. I can't stand that shit. Over in London we have a term for the Africans that speak with Jamaican slang; Jafakens.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-14 15:48:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haile Selassie Emmanuel I, Rastafari.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-14 15:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Do you have something against reggae music?
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2004-09-14 15:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I wish I was Cuban.