Intelligence - A Public Service Announcement (1063 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 0.88 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Monarch (View user info) at 2004-09-15 00:10:59 EDT
Ladies and Gentlemen, 1337s and n00bs, Uberers of all generation:
Are you tired of useless one line posts?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45033
Are you bored with hateful Uberers always complaining?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45023
Are you annoyed with hitwhores?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44887
Have you had it up to here with random Tourette's syndrome induced crap posts?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44176
If you said yes to any of the above questions, then you may have a serious medical condition known as "Intelligence." Only recently discovered by the medical community, this dangerous condition affects millions upon millions of people around the world! Possible symptoms may include:
- Having a real life.
- Being able to spell correctly.
- Basic knowledge of grammar.
- Understanding how to make friends.
- The ability to post good pieces of writing on Ubersite.
- Common courtesy.
The average person with Intelligence is afflicted with at least 3-4 of these symptoms. If you currently suffer from any of these symptoms, and if you sometimes get sick of reading bullshit geo-political posts that fail to make a point (http://www.ubersite.com/m/42262), then you are one of the millions of people world-wide suffering from Intelligence.
Unfortunately, there is currently no known cure for Intelligence. Once a person has been infected with Intelligence, it is too late. Intelligence is contagious and, given time, an infected person has a good chance of spreading it to others in their immediate vicinity. However, it appears that some people are completely immune to the effects of Intelligence. These people may very well never be able to contract Intelligence (http://www.ubersite.com/m/44003).
As of yet, we cannot offer any hope for those currently afflicted with Intelligence, and you must be responsible for your own sanity. To this end we can only offer one piece of advice:
Attempt to identify stupid posts before clicking on them. (Examples have been included thoughout this document.) Once these posts have been identified, DON'T FUCKING CLICK ON THE LINK!!!
-- Thank you, this has been a public service announcment from the IAIP (International Association of Intelligent People.) --
-- We now return you to your regularly scheduled program. --
User Reviews
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2004-10-04 12:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm John Kerry and I approved this message.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-10-04 12:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty funny.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2004-10-04 12:18:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I forgive you for thinking I'm a guy, and I like this post.
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-10-01 17:01:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45048 <- are you sick of posts like this?
i am!
and just like all of this links in this post,
this one has nooooo content!
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-10-01 17:00:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad for a noob.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-10-01 16:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
donkey cock
Submitted by Legendary_Threat (user info) at 2004-10-01 16:38:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-09-29 23:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2004-09-29 22:57:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best thing I've ever seen from someone 11,000+.
Submitted by Luckystar (user info) at 2004-09-15 13:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I KNEW there was a name for my condition!
Thanks, Monarch (cheesy smile)
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-15 08:05:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
jew
Submitted by Brianthetruthspeaker (user info) at 2004-09-15 07:40:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice job
However if you cut out stupid people, then what will be left to read on UBER?
So many posts are inspired by ignorance.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-15 07:33:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed, i cried.... it was an emotional experience.
Donitsu give's it 2 thumbs up!
95% percent of the world agreed with Donitsu's proficient badass reviews on posts like this!
Submitted by TheRateMachine (user info) at 2004-09-15 06:26:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am the Rate Machine.
You have been rated.
Submitted by me <mmmmmm> at 2004-09-15 04:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
v.good
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-09-15 04:15:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cigar -
I never saw your early stuff. But I thought you made a reasonable point, so I went back and looked.
There was one post in there I really thought had some promise. I threw it a +1 (which it easily deserves.) Why not try writing up something like that again? Sure, KoolMang will give it a -2 if he sees it, but we all expect that.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-09-15 04:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-09-15 02:54:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't think Cigar liked me linking his post as an example.
Cig, it's nothing personal. I like everyone. But you gotta admit, it was kinda pointless as far as posts go.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And that's pretty much my mission here, pointless bullshit. I posted fucking gold twice, once on my first post. I got nothing but mindless -2's, and maybe 2 good responses. This has been done before, and will be done again.
I'll leave you with a +2 to even it out, and one of my favorite quotes.
"I don't have to fucking explain myself to the likes of you"
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-09-15 03:26:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainAmik (user info) at 2004-09-15 03:16:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you said yes to any of the above questions, then you may have a serious medical condition known as "Intelligence."
At this point I dropped my smoke and burnt a hole in my bed. So I stopped reading.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-09-15 02:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't think Cigar liked me linking his post as an example.
Cig, it's nothing personal. I like everyone. But you gotta admit, it was kinda pointless as far as posts go.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-15 01:44:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
interesting....
Submitted by Lady_in_the_radiator (user info) at 2004-09-15 01:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about Monarch
User id: 11123
Registered on or around: 2004-08-11 00:14:52
# Messages posted: 6
# Reviews written: 265
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 61
# Hits: 1218
Average rating of all messages: 0.63
Unnecessary.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-09-15 01:29:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by shadowdragon (user info) at 2004-09-15 01:27:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is this "intelligence" or whatever you call it a sexually transmitted disease?
Either way, I'm screwed.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-09-15 01:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Worth.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-09-15 00:54:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-09-15 00:15:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
This would have been so much better if you would have actually warned us at the beginning of the post not to click on the links. Then I would get all antsy and maybe click one or two because you told me not to.
We could have had so much fun my friend.
------------------
Good point... My bad.
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-09-15 00:26:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha!!!!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2004-09-15 00:25:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel bad that I gave those horrible, horrible posts yet another hit.
-2 for that
+4 for um...stuff.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-09-15 00:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This would have been so much better if you would have actually warned us at the beginning of the post not to click on the links. Then I would get all antsy and maybe click one or two because you told me not to.
We could have had so much fun my friend.
Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2004-09-15 00:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's a good thing you're clean...
Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2004-09-15 00:13:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
God, I fucking hate intelligence...
It's pretzel town for you, buddy.