Divorce, Dogs, Debauchery and Dragonfly (746 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 2 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ex Lux Astrum (View user info) at 2004-09-15 03:48:28 EDT
Bailey and I have a bond only a divorced guy and his dog could enjoy.
The divorce was final. O brave new world! What limitless lechery and sexual lasciviousness awaited me! In my new-found single life, my swinging "pull up a groove and let's get fabulous" life, I would be like Alice's new found friend, her debauched counterpart.....Adventures in Plunderland.
Although, I must admit, the house seemed eerily less crowded.
It seems as if not just my ex's corporeal mass had gone, but the eddy's and currents of her spirit, the intangible weight and presence of her animus, psyche, vital force...whatever the fuck you want to call it - had fled with her. Gravity had subtly shifted in this household.
Anyway, Bailey was in early geezerhood (twelve years old). This meant he was old enough to grudgingly put up with my newly acquired "bachelor-again" behavior; behavior no doubt instigated by my conflicted feelings. This seesaw mental balance was teetered on one end by tendrils of loneliness, the spooky, empty feeling of the house, and a slight trepidation of venturing again "Through the Looking Glass" into the circus of night, chasing elusive, new Poontang. Balancing the other end of this seesaw (the fulcrum being my penis?) was the intoxication and excitement of total, unbridled (bordering on maniacal) freedom.
The yin and the yang. The devil on one shoulder, an angel on the other.
I was torn between whispering warm, wounded words crafted from the ache of loneliness- words that flew like desperate pollen into the stigma of those so sweet flowers in the garden of Gash..."yes dear, I am seeking a soulmate to complete the Secret equation, and mend this tear in the fabric of Love. I am seeking a subtle gravity source to capture devotion: Together we'll keep Worlds in motion."
Or I would be blunt. Blunt like the trauma of a frenzied hard-on. A throbbing, cock-contusion. Scandalous, monstrous-meat blunt. My hot breath vocalized urgent, fierce desires - I uttered these crucial words "fuck pussy lick suck O baby fuck" that burned past ear drums, flashed along primal pathways, frenzied lightening impulses searing connections between brain and breasts, cortex and cunt, making their clitoris' quiver in anticipation of the raw passion of primordial beast-like sex.
So.....as I stated, Bailey was by now used to my Jeckyll and Hyde behavior. I'd either be Nice Master: feed Bailey succulent meal, play throw and fetch the ball in the backyard, then settle down to a nice DVD and quiet evening at home...on the couch with pillow and blanket, and noble Bailey, man's best friend, at his feet.
Or....Bad Master: hear the shower going, smell the Eau de GetLaid cologne, hear the car drive off. Then loneliness and quiet, sad- master is gone. Until....3 am. Master shuffling loudly to door...keys clanging on ground when dropped. Doggy nostrils picking up funky smell of unknown woman. Doggy ears listening to high pitch cackle-laugh of said unknown woman....Doggy ears assaulted by blasting of stereo. Doggy nostrils then once again assaulted by funky smell of humans a-porkin'.
Tonight I was Good Master. I made Bailey his favorite meal of homemade boiled chicken with vegetables, mixed with his generic crunchy shit out of the Purina bag. Before the sun set, we played tennis ball AND Frisbee. Ahh...life is good.
Tonight's movie was some piece-a-shit called "Dragonfly", with that wishy-washy fag Kevin Costner. The plot had something to do with his wife dying, afterlife shit, paranormal spirits...blah blah blah. I never really saw the end.
Bailey had fallen asleep on my foot. I heard him snore every now and then, felt the warmth and weight of his neck on my ankle. I watched the movie with one part of my mind, watched the shadows and patterns it made on my walls with another part, and was aware of Bailey with yet another. I was especially aware when Bailey farted. As I semi-gagged, I told Bailey he was a pig, and get your head off my foot please. He ignored me. I leaned over and looked down. Bailey was stretched out, tongue extended - blue. His eyes were open, but were mere marbles, black glass, devoid of spirit. Two black holes of death.
Bailey had breathed his last breath, farted his last fart, fetched his last ball, caught his last frizbee, and licked his masters hand, one last time....this night.
I never realized the weight of things we love. Bailey seemed heavier in death, limp like a 90 pound wet rag. I could barely lift him into the truck to drive to the vet. My world was blurred as I drove--numb. I nodded mechanically as she said yes, he's passed—dumb. My future seemed lacking, gray—glum.
I had Bailey cremated. I couldn't bear the thought of my friend rotting in the cold earth. I snuck into the landscaped courtyard of a church at 2 am. It had statues of the Virgin and St. Francis, and other sacred looking shit. The best thing it had was a fountain that quietly trickled amongst the solemn shrubs and wind-sighing trees. I buried Bailey's ashes at the base of a noble-looking pine tree; I buried his tennis ball with him.
My house seems very empty now. Spirits have fled, and some are sedated-forlorn.
I don't think I'll go off on one of my debauched poon-missions tonight. Or tomorrow.
Maybe some other night.
I will never, ever finish that fucking movie, Dragonfly.
User Reviews
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-10-13 15:04:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by secret_scrote (user info) at 2004-09-15 22:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff, but pretty fucking sad.
I'm not looking forward to when my dog goes to the BBITS (Big Biscuit In The Sky).
Submitted by Ex_Lux_Astrum (user info) at 2004-09-15 17:11:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-09-15 12:13:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Puppy!
What did he die of?
____________________________________________________________
Bailey just died of old age...(hope I go just like him, on a full stomache and in my sleep)...bigger dogs usually only last between 10-14 years, I am told.
Thanks everyone, for all your condolences. I'll wait awhile before I get another pooch, but, yeah, I'll definitely get another one. Dogs rule..............!!!!
Submitted by phredde2 (user info) at 2004-09-15 16:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My ex had my 16 year old cat put down, and wouldn't let me have her remains
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-09-15 12:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Puppy!
What did he die of?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-15 12:07:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dead doggie stories rule!
No seriously, we've had, in just the last three years, a 16 year old shephard mutt put down...and then a 15 year old greyhound pass away.
They ARE/WERE our kids so I feel your pain.
We have replaced them both with two new greyhounds and life goes on. So will yours. Go adopt a greyhound.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-09-15 12:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a damn good written story. Sorry to hear about your dog though.
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-09-15 11:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So sad. Poor little guy. At least he died peacefully.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-09-15 11:51:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, that was some fine writing.
This got to me dammit.
Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2004-09-15 11:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Losing a beloved pet is so hard. They give you so much and ask for so little. Sorry man.
Submitted by iamhewhoisnot (user info) at 2004-09-15 11:40:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn, im sorry man.
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2004-09-15 08:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because i thought the title said "douchebaggery"
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-15 08:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah man, that is rough. At least your last night together was filled with joy for him, and he passed peacefully. After you have mourned his passing, consider getting another companion.
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2004-09-15 05:38:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Squijee (user info) at 2004-09-15 04:21:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry to hear the news. Great writing though.
Submitted by Spookster (user info) at 2004-09-15 04:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It got all sad all of a sudden.
My sympathies to you.
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-09-15 04:00:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry to hear about it..
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-09-15 03:51:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwwwwww...