Man Inherits $1 Billion Smackaroos (814 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.73 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The REAL Quagmire (View user info) at 2004-09-15 12:56:37 EDT
A man's father died, leaving him an estate worth over $1 Billion dollars.
Since he had no need to save all that money, he decided to splurge on his three sons. He gathered them up and asked them "I will buy you any one item you want where money is no object."
The first son said he always wanted a Porsche. So, the father went out and bought 7 different Porches in different colors. One to drive for each day of the week.
The second son said that he had always wanted a motorcycle. So again, the father left and rounded up 30 brand new motorcycles. 10 were brand new Harley-Davidsons, 10 dirt bikes, and 10 sport bikes. He could ride a different one for each day of the month.
His third son was very young, being only 6 years old he would not need a bike or car. He also was so young, he had little concept of money. He only knew what he wanted really bad. So when told he could have anything in the whole wide world, he responded "I want a Mickey Mouse outfit!"
So with money being no object, the father went out and purchased the Chicago Bears.
User Reviews
Submitted by PersonMan (user info) at 2004-09-15 20:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Two chicks at the same time.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-15 20:13:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
PS. Here's one you probably have heard.
What do you call a friendless, gay, virgin, cyber geek who needs a couple cuffs to the skull?
I Have A Kristen Fetish
Pretty good, eh? I just made that one up so maybe you haven't heard it.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-15 18:24:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Krautski (user info) at 2004-09-15 17:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GOOT using of the england slang
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-15 15:19:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
what hidden said
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-09-15 15:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I, for one, am a long-time Bears fan. So, eat a dick. Also, it was kind of funny.
Submitted by Chi_Guy (user info) at 2004-09-15 14:53:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You mean the Fudge Packers??? I can't stand that team. Although I respect Farve.
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-09-15 14:50:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The bears suck total ass!
GO GREEN BAY WOO!
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-09-15 14:49:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What's a $1 billion dollars?
I know what a billion dollars is.
I know what $1 billion is.
But what's a billion dollars dollars?
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-09-15 14:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah, and history says :The Cards are going to choke at the end. The majority of teams with the best record at the end of the season don't seem to make it into the world series.
BOO CARDS BOO!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-09-15 14:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i expected this joke to be much worse. it made me smile, i suppose.
i live about 15 minutes from Busch Stadium. GO CARDS WOO!!!
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-09-15 14:36:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope not. I actually don't mind the Bears, I hate the Vikings and Lions way more.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2004-09-15 14:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the Vikings are goin to oVVn the Bears this year. Twice.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-09-15 14:26:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Chi_Guy (user info) at 2004-09-15 14:00:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
Gay, retarded cheesehead!! If it wasn't for Chicago, Wisconsin would be broke. Stupid low class state.
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How would Wisconsin go broke without Chicago? It doesn't earn money on taxes from Chicago. Chicago is in Illinois, dude.
The state earns money from taxes collected within the borders of Wisconsin.
Submitted by Chi_Guy (user info) at 2004-09-15 14:25:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are right about the Cards. They are the best in baseball right now.
Submitted by Quagmire (user info) at 2004-09-15 14:11:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cheesehead? Because of that joke below? I only heard it that way, so I repeated it the same way.
Oh no. I'm a Cards & Rams fan, buddy.
GO CARDS, WOO! Best team in baseball!!!
Submitted by Chi_Guy (user info) at 2004-09-15 14:00:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Gay, retarded cheesehead!! If it wasn't for Chicago, Wisconsin would be broke. Stupid low class state.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-15 13:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Because hcp28 liked it, I'll give it a -2.
Submitted by Quagmire (user info) at 2004-09-15 13:31:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In his first day of School, the teacher asks the entire class "Who here is Milwaukee Brewer fans?" And everyone but Steve raises his hands.
"Why are you not a Brewers fan, Steve?"
"Because I'm a cubs fan." He replied.
The teacher laughed and said, "Why are you a cubs fan?"
"My mom and dad are cubs fans, so I'm a cubs fan." Steve answered back quickly.
The teacher grew visibly upset at the non-brewers fan and shot back "Well, what if your mom was a prostitute and your dad was a crackhead? What would that make you then?"
Steve thought about it for a second. He replied, "That would make me a White Sox fan."
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2004-09-15 13:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*RIM SHOT*
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2004-09-15 13:15:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for both your's and Shlongy's jokes
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-09-15 13:10:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-15 13:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Last year, I left a pair of Bears tickets on the front seat of my rental car in Chicago.
That was a mistake...someone, of course, broke into my car.
And left two more Bears tickets.
Ba dum bum.
Thanks, I'll be here all week...tip your waitresses.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-09-15 13:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-09-15 13:01:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I thought in order to be owner of the Bears you had to be 5 or under?
New rules every damn season it seems like.
How about the crackdown on pass interference? That was a joke.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-09-15 13:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ynuck Ynuck Ynuck Ynuck
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-09-15 12:59:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha duh bears.
stink
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-09-15 12:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
har har.