A funny story, happenned to...ME! (797 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.49 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by KoolMang (View user info) at 2004-09-18 18:23:29 EDT
Yesterday was apparently Friday. I had only one class, because, in the beginnings of college, there are those GOOD days where classes end in the morning, and Friday is one of those. The teacher cracked some jokes about me which I was able to laugh about, and I went home at 11 am. typically, a Saturday involves me waking up at lunchtime and pissing time away. So I naturally assumed yesterday was Saturday, and today was Sunday! Jeez it's Saturday still! GOD PRAISE ERRORS OF JUDGEMENT!
User Reviews
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2004-09-19 18:22:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
NSFW dumbass!
Submitted by ofMontreal (user info) at 2004-09-19 16:03:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-19 13:16:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cigar and his mother bond.
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2004-09-19 10:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-09-18 22:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope it doesn't continue, you fucking fag.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 22:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Three desperately ill women met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an Alcoholic, one was a Chain-Smoker, and one was a Sudanese ass sucker.
The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."
The women left the doctor's office, each convinced that she would never again indulge herself in her vice. While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar.
The Alcoholic, hearing the loud music and smelling the ale, could not stop herself. Her buddies accompanied her into the bar, where she had a JagerBomb.
No sooner had she replaced the shot glass on the bar, she fell off her stool, stone cold dead.
Her companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor's words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning.
The Sudanese ass sucker looked at the Chain-Smoker and said
"You know, if you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead."
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 22:00:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What happens in Sudan, stays in Sudan.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 20:50:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Sisters at "Our Lady of the Infernal Rectum" began frantically blowing up the sickly looking children so that the visiting Americans would consider adopting them.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-09-18 20:48:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, those dune coons got me unbanned in hopes I would stop being racist to them.
jews
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-09-18 20:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love it when that happens.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 20:22:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Queen Laqueefa took baby kissing to the extreme while campaigning for "Head Bitch In Charge" in the Sudan.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 20:13:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-09-18 20:07:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
PCF and I are so cool.
----------------------------------
Holy shit! Didn't realize you were unbanned! Grats! Was it because of the
Dune Coons?
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-09-18 20:07:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PCF and I are so cool.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 19:54:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit I need to get a life.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHhHHHhahahhahahahah...ha.ha....ah...ha.....hmmmmmmm
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 19:50:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dateline: Sudan (AP)
A previously sealed indictment was opened today when news sources discovered that the Hershey's company was continuing to use poor, Sudanese peasants in the manufacturing process for Hershey's kisses. Photographers observed that Kumsuckme Cracka frequently extracted the contents of her son's anus and spit a brown lump on the ground, allowing it to dry in the sun. At the end of the day, she would wrap the dollop shaped lumps in aluminum foil and bag them in Hershey's kisses bags.
When interviewed, Kumsuckme indicated that it was "the best she could do for her family," and that the 2.5 cents American she earned per day was "a helluva lot more than I could make bein a ho. Just look at me."
As for the recipe for making Kisses, Kumsuckme stated that she had signed a Non-Disclosure contract with Hershey's. When pressed about the issue, she merely stated "I'm happy for me and my son that I don't have to make the almond Kisses."
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 19:39:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
American troops delighted in teaching the natives how to do a "Body Shot."
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 19:38:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Boolah-Boolah was tragically unable to remember CPR just when she needed it most.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-18 18:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
U can't touch this (x2)
U can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
My-my-my-my music hits me so hard makes me say oh my Lord
Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet
That's good when you know you're down
A superdope homeboy from Oaktown
And I'm known as such
And this is a beat uh u can't touch
I told you homeboy u can't touch this
Yeah that's how we're livin' and you know u can't touch this
Look in my eyes man u can't touch this
You know let me bust the funky lyrics u can't touch this
Fresh new kicks and pants
You got it like that now you know you wanna dance
So move out of your seat
And get a fly girl and catch this beat
While it's rollin' hold on pump a little bit
And let me know it's going on like that like that
Cold on a mission so pull on back
Let 'em know that you're too much
And this is a beat uh u can't touch
Yo I told you u can't touch this
Why you standing there man u can't touch this
Yo sound the bells school is in sucker u can't touch this
Give me a song or rhythm
Making 'em sweat that's what I'm giving 'em
Now they know when you talk about the Hammer
You talk about a show that's hyped and tight
Singers are sweatin' so pass them a wipe
Or a tape to learn what it's gonna take
in the 90's to burn
The charts legit either work hard
Or you might as well quit
That's word because you know
U can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
Break it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh) (x2)
Stop Hammer time
Go with the flow it is said if you can't move to this
Then you probably are dead
So wave your hands in the air
Bust a few moves run your fingers through your hair
This is it for a winter
Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner
Move slide your rump
Just for a minute let's all do the bump
Bump bump bump yeah
U can't touch this
Look man u can't touch this
You'll probably get hyped boy 'cause you know you can't u can't touch
this
Ring the bell school's back in break it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (x2)
Stop Hammer time
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
(Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh)
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) u can't touch this (x3)
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) break it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (x2)
Stop Hammer time
Every time you see me that Hammer's just so hype
I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mic
Now why would I ever stop doing this
With others makin' records they just dont get it
I toured around the world from London to The Bay
It's Hammer go Hammer MC Hammer Yo Hammer
and the rest go and play
U can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
U can't touch this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
Yeah u can't touch this
I told you u can't touch this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
Too hype can't touch this
Get me outta here u can't touch this
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-09-18 18:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PCF's comments are priceless.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 18:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I saved a bunch of money on my camel insurance.....hang on....
****SLUUUUUUURP******
I saved a bunch of money on my camel insurance thanks to Geico.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 18:36:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of course my son's shit doesn't stink. It doesn't taste too bad either.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 18:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Zoombaba regrets letting young Boobalehboobla sit on the key to the United Nations Aid truck and resorts to drastic measures.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 18:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stop sending food to our country. We REALLY need toilet paper.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 18:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Relath, thon. I can'th geth my tongue outh unthil you relath.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-09-18 18:30:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My cat's tail is stuck in my anus!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-09-18 18:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Isn't it obvious that the baby is dying and she's attempting to resucitate him via the ass? If you blow air up someone's ass it totally revitalizes their heart and even causes age-reversal in some cases.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-18 18:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Electro = pg13
KoolMang = XXX
Which rating is better?
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2004-09-18 18:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jewtoast:"Koolmang, you are fired. Clean out your desk by 5." *stupid grin*
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-18 18:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yesterday was a test. Today I decided to make it that, when the users open it, they are greeted by this picture without scrolling down.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-18 18:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No NSFW! Shit!
I still love this fucking picture. I have no idea why.
Still looks like she's blowing him up (pbtbbtbtbtbtbttbtbtbtttttbtbtbtbtbtbt).