My stereotypical ubermadness post (526 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 2 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by hamilton gianthead69.at.hotmail.com (View user info) at 2004-09-18 23:20:13 EDT
Jim hated his life. He hated his wife, he hated his kids, and he hated his job. He was still depressed over that time his friend got shot.
Jim was filled with rage as he got into his car. Rage at nothing in particular, because that sounds creative. Suddenly, his cellphone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey Jim."
"Dad?"
"Yep."
"I haven't seen you since you killed the rest of the family! How are you?"
But they didn't have time to keep talking, because Jim drove into a pile of corpses, flipping his car over into some innocent little Girl Guides walking down the street.
"WHY!?!" He screamed to the sky.
Once Jim got home, he remembered how much he hated his wife. Ever since she killed their dog, things hadn't been the same. He remembered when he met her. She was on the run from her psycho-killer boyfriend, who had killed her family. She had a heart of ice and on her days off from being a struggling single mother, she killed people. But soon, he changed her, and finally got the IRA to leave him alone for sabotaging the Manchester bombing.
As he walked towards her, she stabbed in the arm with a needle.
"OW! What the fuck was that for?"
"Now that I've got you with my knockout gas, I can torture you slowly, then kill you!"
"Jesus that hurts! The syringe was empty!"
His wife gasped and died.
Soon his son came home.
"Hey Dad! I love you so..."
Jim had killed his son.
Suddenly, it him. While the sirens slowly moved towards him, he wept to the heavens for what he had done. He then took out the gun that every in the world seems to magically own, and shot himself in the head.
As the paramedics were lifting him onto the stretcher, they could be heard grumbling.
"Another one?"
"That's 54 so far."
"I hate this time of year."
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-19 12:15:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-09-18 23:35:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-2 because you haven't IMed me on AIM yet.
harmlessness is the name, FUCK YOU YOU BASTARD IM ME's the game.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2004-09-18 23:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the sad part is that this post is right
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-09-18 23:23:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-09-18 23:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
brilliant.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-18 23:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome. And so true.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-09-18 23:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
both were good...but I prefer entry one.