Why you shouldn't carry cash after payday (675 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.14 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by gbusman (View user info) at 2004-09-19 13:19:05 EDT
Scenario 1:
+$300 - 12 Noon, take paycheck to bank, take cash, deposit the rest.
-$31 - Fill up car with gas, get Gatorade and gum.
-$11 - Valet parking at Joe's Sports Bar, no street parking available.
-$15 - Bottomless cup of Whiskey and Coke during the Auburn Game.
-$20 - Food at Joe's
-$15 - Auburn Wins, Everybody wins. Tips before leaving to the bartender, waitress, valet guy, and bathroom attendant.
-$8 - Cab to Fizz's to see EvG's roommate perform with her a cappella group. Hooray, the Glee Club.
-$10 - Cover to watch "Lakeshore Jive." Jack and Coke... make it a Double.
-$8 - Cab to the Half Shell on Diversey for some dinner.
-$50 - Oysters on the half shell, Pitcher of beer, thirty-two pointer mountain of fried seafood. Cubs lost.
-$10 - Cab back to Joe's. Yay, people are buying me drinks.
-$10 - See EvG's ex-girlfriend, still hot and friendly, 2 beers for us. Oscar gets KO'd in a great fight.
-$10 - Two more beers.
-$10 - Two more beers.
-$15 - EvG's ex says she has some smoke back at her place, do I want to come? Of course I do. EvG couldn't care less, she was like 3 girlfriends ago. Cab ride.
-$20 - Not being a regular smoker, we have to buy a pipe at Walgreen's on the corner. We walk into her place and she tells the doorman smiling, "This is EvG's best friend. How about that?" Warning lights flash.
-$15 - Cab ride back to EvG's after she vowed 6 times not to talk about him. I watched that Home Alone kid on Larry King Live while she called 3 old high school friends, and was finally sent home... In a very sour mood.
-$5 - 4 am Maxwell Street Polish on my way driving back to the burbs. Was in no mood for EvG's couch.
Cost: $260
Result: Masturbating in my bedroom with a buzz.
Scenario 2:
Smoke the stuff in my closet. Play video games all night.
Cost: Free
Result: Masturbating in my bedroom with a buzz. In a good mood.
Should have chosen 2.
-Bus
User Reviews
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-09-22 16:44:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sounds expensive.
Submitted by logancho (user info) at 2004-09-22 16:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey... you're from chitown huh. joe's sports bar kicks ass. my g/f works there. tip well buddy... make my life easier!
Submitted by bootleg (user info) at 2004-09-19 18:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
made me giggle
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-09-19 17:48:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You rule.
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-09-19 16:37:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-19 16:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-09-19 15:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Reminds me of a mastercard commercial.