new wave technology of the future (caps key is broken!) (260 hits)
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Submitted by screaney (View user info) at 2004-09-19 18:54:44 EDT
hey guys! it's me again.
i was philosophizing again on the bus today during my commute, when a moment of sheer brilliance cleaved my head open like a double edged sword, splattering my luminous thoughts and opinions all over fellow bus riders. well, it wasn't exactly like that; it wasn't that brilliant. actually, it wasn't even that bright. on second thought, it was altogether, dull and lame. but let me share the details with you.
so, i'm thinking to myself about how seldom i purchase goods and services with cash. i often use the electronic method of cash withdrawl via interac debit processes. i do this so often, in fact, that i'm thinking that one day cash and coin will become obsolete. so what will the solution be? tonnes of cash cards or retinal scans of the eye that reveal your savings balance? i hope not.
my idea is to tatoo a barcode on everyman's penis. such that this barcode will be a seriel number of that man's bank account number. it will work such that, everytime a MAN needs to make a withdrawl or a payment of some kind, he will have to insert his limp penis into a device that reads, processes, transfers and allocates his funding. notice how women no longer have the option of 'handing' money and hence-forth cannot spend any? i think this may be a good thing, considering how profligate women can be with money.
but what of the married couple that require a woman to do her lawful duty of purchasing groceries and paying of bills while the hard-working breadwinner man slaves away at his hell-job for 8.5 hours? okay, i have a solution. a woman can be issued a temporary barcode and short-term access to the man's account through barcode imprints. the barcode imprinting process involves a man's inserting his barcode member into a woman's private areas. three areas are applicable. i'll let you use your imagination. anyhow, the imprinting process is done when the man donates his semen into one of the above orifices. up to 4 hours after imprinting, most modern Semen Emittance Xyroscopes (SEX) can read the encryption and allow for female cash transfers by probing the desired female orifice. this way, everyone is happy. a man can allow for women to use money for a short term and women can allow for men to use them, until something better comes along. (this is not prostitution!!!!!)
the future is friendly my friends. big brother is watching....
later....
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Submitted by screaney (user info) at 2004-09-20 12:31:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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