Stick to what you know (1259 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalLabels: Drugs
Rating: 1.61 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spam D (View user info) at 2004-09-19 19:59:05 EDT
I have been smoking draw habitually since I was about 18. Prior to that, my narcotic experience consisted of the odd cheeky spliff in the alley behind my mate's gaff. These infrequent occasions normally arose after one of our crew had sneakily managed to Andy McNabb some resin from their father/older brother/grandma etc, and the seven or so of us were forced to crowd around an inexpertly rolled joint, terrified of getting rumbled but all the while marvelling at how incredibly rebellious we were. Anyway, after blazing away for the last 5 years, It dawned on me that I had obtained the utter distain for all other drugs that is the mark of a true addict. Unwilling to concede that I'd succumbed to dark-side of addiction, and unable to give up my vice, I reasoned that my only course of action was to experiment with other drugs and hence I could never be classed as a pot-head - because I'd be on everything.
Logic - the pubic hair in the soup of my life.
Time to get experimental - but where to begin? There's so much dangerous and stupid stuff I could put into my body with as yet unknown consequences. I was pondering my dilemma when my phone rings and:- "Dude, it's Richard. I've just got back man" (He'd been visiting his hippy father over the weekend) "Listen fella', I know you're not into this sorta thing, but pops gave me some shrooms man. We need to try that shit. Whadya think?"
Not being one to decline such an eloquently delivered invitation, I replied that yes, I would indeed, like to 'try that shit'. He went on to advise me that he had his new girlfriend in tow whom I'd not met but had been given the Ricardo Seal-Of-Approval with a resounding 'She's fucking cool', and that she would also be participating in our little appointment with Dr Freaky McStrange. I left my house immediately and at around half three that Saturday afternoon I was in Richard's kitchen discussing what was about to take place.
Thus begins our orgy of ineptitude.
We'd been told that the best way to take them was to make a tea using 20, that way the effects would kick in after about 45 minutes and last for 6 hours - meaning that by 22:00 we would be straight and sober, assimilating Ribena, chow mein and Only Fools and Horses in equal quantities. We all drank our teas at 4 o'clock, and waited for something to happen.
By 6pm nothing seemed to be happening so we rustled up another brew o' doom and each took another 20 or so more - even though we had been told that 30 in a night was the most that we wanted to be fucking about with.
Come 8'clock still nothing, so I had a spliff and a beer and we decided to call the experiment to a halt - it was obviously not going to work. The night was to then consist of watching the Matrix: Reloaded and getting ludicrously stoned. To get the full movie effect we turned the lights off, thinking nothing of it. This turned out to be the king of all arse-fuckingly stupid ideas.
About 10 minutes into the film, Richard kept looking over at me and giggling, which was a little freaky but I thought nothing of it. I turned my attention back to the telly, and continued to watch the Matrix. After a time, all three of us were sitting in silence, lost in our own thoughts, unaware that our conscious' were being subtly altered by the hallucinogenic compounds contained within the shrooms we were at that moment digesting.
Things were changing. Shapes started to move in the dark and areas of the room disappeared completely as I lost the ability to focus properly on more than one square foot of space at any given moment. Strange thoughts about my own mortality and sense of purpose rushed through my head, shattering my ability to concentrate. Seeds of doubt were being sown in my mind about where this evening was headed.
About the time Neo's chatting to the oracle, I got to thinking - what if I was a program in the Matrix? What if I didn't actually exist other than a part of somebody's representation of the real world? What if there was no real world? Or if there never had been?... had there ever been? Nothing around me seemed to be real. I looked over at Richard and Laura to see if they were experiencing the same thing as me, only to find that they were both staring at me with confused expressions. Or were they? Had I just said all of that out loud? Is that why they were looking at me? They didn't seem too freaked out... but then, maybe they were just pretending not too be worried because they knew that would make me worse. The good news dawned on me - This could get messy.
I retuned back into the TV. Neo was talking to the oracle... er... hadn't this bit already happened? I asked Richard who looked at me like I'd just slapped him round the face with my cock. I quickly turned back to the TV. Neo was in Zion talking to Trinity. Hold on... this bit was on half an hour ago!! Again, I tried to tell Richard this, but either he didn't understand me, or I hadn't been able to vocalise my thoughts - whichever, the whole episode was beginning to really put the willies up me. I made a decision to leave these strange people and return home. With what I hoped was a casual air, I arose from my chair and shouted - "I'm going home, these mushrooms obviously aren't working and I don't feel so good." I started searching around for my stuff when I could suddenly hear Richard screaming; "NO WAY MAN .... NO FUCKING WAY. DUDE!! DUDE?? ITS OKAY MAN, IT'S OKAY...". At the time I should have been interested in what he was screaming about but I couldn't focus my eyes, I then realised that I couldn't actually see anything at all, and I hadn't actually been seeing anything for about 30 seconds. What was all the screaming about? I wanted to open my eyes but couldn't, instead I watched as patterns began to form in my minds eye. For a time I was lost in a bizarre world I couldn't make any sense of and wasn't sure that I wanted to. Like when you play music on your PC and you can make the screen turn into those kaleidoscopic patterns of lightening and stuff all swirling around? Well I was standing in the middle of it - it was terrifying, and it went on for an eternity.
When I regained consciousness I was sitting in the middle of Richard's living room, Richard frantically buzzing around the room just shouting "fuck, fuck, fuck. I'VE KILLED HIM, I'VE KILLED HIM" - most disconcerting. It took a couple of seconds before I noticed that his girlfriend Laura had her arms round me and was stroking my back whispering in my ear "It's okay, you're okay, everything's okay...." I was terrified of looking up, for fear of seeing who Richard had killed. Fortunately I found hadn't the strength to lift my head, and I continued to stare at my lap. With a sense of detachment I realised I was only wearing one shoe.
We stayed like this for about 5 minutes.
Eventually, I managed to crawl into the armchair and get curled up into a ball. I used my coat as a blanket and focused all my concentration on not going insane. I sat there like a gibbering wreck for about 2 hours, god knows what this was doing to Richard and Laura who had taken quite a few mushrooms themselves. Following an eternity of the worst paranoia I've ever experienced (so bad that I promised myself that If I didn't return to reality by midnight, I was going to top myself) I slowly began to realise that all was well in the world and that I could once again function as a (relatively) normal human being.
Back to TV - The Matrix was reaching it's climax, It was 10'oclock.
On reflection, I think that maybe it wasn't a good idea to turn the lights off and watch a movie that could send you into a para even without the assistance of mind altering chemicals. In fact, Richard's dad gave him a bollocking for being so stupid as to do this very thing.
I later found that I had never actually been unconscious or if I had, it was no longer than a second. According to Richard, I just folded up onto the floor and then sat straight back up - the whole thing lasted no more than 4 seconds before I was talking again.
After talking to Richard the next morning, we decided, we're never doing it again
...we'll have to watch a different movie, in a well lit room next time.
User Reviews
Submitted by GaidinCanuck (user info) at 2005-09-22 02:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Top notch.
Most common line when doing shrooms, "I think we got ripped off... This shit isn't doing anything for me." :P
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-26 02:49:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-17 08:04:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I stopped reading after "odd cheeky spliff in the alley behind my mate's gaff."
What the fuck mate?
Submitted by Parkinsuns (user info) at 2005-03-17 07:46:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Huber_the_Nose (user info) at 2005-03-11 10:00:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you liked shrooms, Id also recommend Hawaiian baby woodrose seeds.....they're pretty fun.
Its like Mr. Miyagi says: "Different, but same."
.....at least I think he said that....
Submitted by Huber_the_Nose (user info) at 2005-03-11 09:56:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
pffff.....only pussies make tea out of their mushrooms. Real men eat them. In fact, real men buy the fresh ones, leave them in the bag for a few days so they turn really nasty and THEN eat them.
*shivers*
.....oh god.....so nasty
Actually the dry ones aren't bad with enough peanut butter. The fresh ones.....oh god....the fresh ones.....
*shivers*
Few things are as vomit inducingly disgusting as eating a moldy fungus......believe you me
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-03-11 09:43:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
With a sense of detachment I realised I was only wearing one shoe.
Submitted by Hugeos (user info) at 2005-03-11 09:15:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And you've just reminded me of a little flashback freakout I had about a week after I took mushrooms once. I was on the tube, and was halfway to taking my trousers off because I was convinced there were insects on my legs. This was in the morning rush-hour...
anyway, another +2 as that line's still making me laugh.
Submitted by Hugeos (user info) at 2005-03-11 09:12:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'I asked Richard who looked at me like I'd just slapped him round the face with my cock'
I laughed so hard at this line I almost threw up.
As for the rest of it? Pretty good portrait of what a freak out is like.
Submitted by Walrus_King (user info) at 2005-03-11 08:56:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The next morning I got up and had sort myself out, the worst thing is that the voices that were telling me I was insane kept coming back for a few days....
Then the arguments in my head would start, one voice would be telling the other voice to shuit the fuck up and trying to convince me that it was all bollocks.. Then I thought to myself 'okay then I'll just listen to the voice in my head that's telling me that there are no voices in my head.. Hang on a minute....
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-03-11 07:33:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh,
The first time I did them I didn't know how many I was supposed to take.... I cooked up the whole bag into my tea (and my chicken and mnushroom and mushroom pot noodle) and had the lot. Then everyone (no-one else was on shrooms) watched Donny Darko in a dark room. The first time I had seen it.
Now that was some fucked up shit.
--
OH MAN!!
I can't think of anything worse than watching Donnie Darko whilst OD-ing - I think I'd rather be gang-raped by 12 Ron Jeremy clones. I feel for you, I really do.
I bet you were a mess for weeks after that. I know it took me a couple of days to convince myself that I really did exist after this.
Submitted by Walrus_King (user info) at 2005-03-11 06:31:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh,
The first time I did them I didn't know how many I was supposed to take.... I cooked up the whole bag into my tea (and my chicken and mnushroom and mushroom pot noodle) and had the lot. Then everyone (no-one else was on shrooms) watched Donny Darko in a dark room. The first time I had seen it.
Now that was some fucked up shit.
To top it all off after the fim when I was a gibbering wreck and thinking that the world was going to end one of my crazed lunatic friends insisted on taking me out on a beutiful summers day to get pizza....driving like a lunatic we made our way to the pizza place. I just sat outside the shop clutching my knees and rocking backwards and forwards. Strange how all the passers by took the time to stop and stare at me for a while.
And don't start me on the voices telling me that I was going insane and that they weren't actually a phsycotropic variety of mushroom they were literally there in my head...
the time after that wasn't so bad...
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-12-30 11:51:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You, sir, are tEh r0x0rz maH b0x0rz.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2004-12-30 09:52:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
when I was doing my A levels we ate a load of magic mushrooms and went to see some shakespeare adaptation by kenneth branagh. wild huh.
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-12-30 09:35:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Besides the fact that I stumbled on a few of your local colloquialisms, awesome story.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2004-12-30 09:19:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesomeness.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-12 10:54:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I used my coat as a blanket and focused all my concentration on not going insane
muy bueno
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-11-08 10:26:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Drugs are awesome.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2004-11-08 10:07:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yo Fetish,
you forgot to go -2 the rest of my posts, run along now.
(unless of course you had a genuine reason for a -2, in which case: comments??)
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-07 19:38:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-10-25 05:41:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hit him around the face with a clock.
hehehehehe.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-10-14 18:32:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Teehee.
Submitted by causeican (user info) at 2004-09-20 13:58:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by More! at 2004-09-20 08:38:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
More drug stories!
Submitted by Pingu (user info) at 2004-09-19 20:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Logic - the pubic hair in the soup of my life.
Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2004-09-19 20:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment